Reconnecting

At Church on Sunday, Mark (the one that had me over for Thanksgiving last year) asked me if I wanted to come over and have a swim.  I was surprised, but happily accepted the invitation.  It was a timely invitation since I had just changed my running routine to be sprinting rather than distance running and I inadvertently gave myself shin splints, so having an option for cardio that didn't require pounding my bones into the ground sounded quite nice.  We planned on me coming by Tuesday evening.

I arrived at the expected time.  What was unexpected, however, was that I was asked if I would join them for dinner.  The family had just redone their kitchen and was testing out their new oven with homemade pizza.  Not only was it delicious, it also marks the first time that I've eaten kale and actually enjoyed it.  Then, we sat around and talked about some of our favorite "Weird" Al songs, with their thirteen-year-old son playing a couple on his smart phone.  Pizza and "Weird" Al.  Can it get any better?

After an adequate rest, Mark and I changed and got into the pool.  Mark is a trained lifeguard and doesn't like to go swimming unless someone else is present, so my being there was as much for him as it was for me.  While I enjoyed the swimming, I forgot how hard it is.  I'm used to running where I can just breathing hard while I move, not having to plan when I can inhale.  I ended up switching from freestyle swimming to the breast stroke to make breathing easier.  Even with the challenges involved, I enjoyed the time in the water.

When it was time to get out and dry off, Mark asked me when I wanted to come back and for now, we're planning on me coming by for a swim next Tuesday as well.  I don't know how long we'll keep this up, but for now I'm enjoying it.

Flapjack Flipping Fun

Pioneer Day was last Thursday, so my ward celebrated by having a pancake breakfast the morning of the following Saturday.  Since I worked as a cook at IHOP for one summer, I volunteered to help cook.  I wanted to make sure that I would fall asleep early enough so I could wake up to help set up, so I took a homeopathic sleep-aid the night before.  Apparently it worked too well because I slept through my alarm - I woke up at about a quarter after 8, with the actual event starting at 8:30.  I jumped out of bed and quickly got dressed and woke Samuel up so that we could leave.  I stopped long enough to eat a banana and take my anti-seizure medication and we were out the door.

We arrived right as the cooking was starting.  While I do feel bad for not being there to help set up, at least I got there in time to cook.  The cooking was done on camping stoves on the Church patio.  We had a couple of brothers on bacon duty, with a father-son team cooking most of the pancakes and me on a smaller stove doing my part.  I did see some of the other pancakes come out underdone, so I gave a few tips to help out, which were well-received.  I got several compliments on my pancake cooking-style from members that made a point to sample from my work, which was nice.

In the end, we cooked for a little over an hour and went through six pounds of bacon, an entire large bag of pancake mix, and and three or four watermelons.  While not everybody got to have bacon, everyone who came was able to have pancakes, even the couple of families that came late.  I made sure that I helped clean everything up, especially since I missed setting up.

And, yes, I ate a few pancakes myself, but, no, I did not enjoy them.  What I did enjoy was being able to serve in the ward using my skills that I have acquired over the course of my life - that was quite delicious.

Beautiful Words

Pardon me while I indulge myself on a favorite topic of mine.

I was thinking recently about how amazing it is that we have written language.  With written language, not only do we have a way to communicate with someone who isn't right in front of us, we also can lock words into place.  Our memories are unreliable and it is easy to, not only forget things, but to remember things that didn't happen.  For example, I remember seeing the traffic crosswalk sign show the symbol for "walk" when I was hit by the bus, but according to all other testimonies, that's incorrect.  When we write things down, we have a permanent record of what actually happened.  There have been multiple times when I've gone back through a journal or this blog and reread entries and been reminded of events that I had long since forgotten.

Not only does this mean that we can communicate to ourselves in the future, but we can relay information to people who haven't even been born yet.  In 1 Nephi, the Lord expresses the importance of the scriptures to Nephi, to the point of commanding him to slay Laban in order to obtain the Plates of Brass (though, yes, according to the law at the time, Nephi had every right to slay Laban for stealing his property).  The word of the Lord existed because His prophets had written down revelations they had received.  The scriptures could not exist today without written language.

Since we know that Adam and Eve had written language, that means that written language was created by God.  And with it, what an amazing tool we have!

I'm sure that it's not terribly surprising I would contemplate something we all take for granted (myself included) since I've dedicated my life to the written word, but it's still nice to take time and appreciate what a beautiful thing that we have with writing.

All By Myself

Lately at work, I've been the only one in the office all day.  All of my coworkers are either working from home or are on vacation.  It's kind of weird being in the office alone.

I've thought about staying home and working in my pajamas, but I don't for a few reasons:

1. I don't have a desk and ergonomic chair in my apartment, so working on my work laptop all day would not be nearly as comfortable.
2. By being out of the house during the main part of the day, I can turn off the air conditioning and still be comfortable in the office while saving money.
3. With my work so close, it's not like it's a burden to make the commute anyway.
4. I work better when I'm in the office.  There's too many distractions at home and it would be way too easy to justify not being on task.

So, that means that I have to be all by myself while at work.  Worse things have happened.  And, admittedly, I only occasionally interact with my coworkers anyway, so it's only weird in the fact that I can't hear other people walking around.

Beautiful Sleep

This weekend had some ups and downs, but probably not enough downs.

On Friday evening, I decided to be nice and I bought dinner for Samuel and myself.  Unfortunately, I also decided to be lazy and I picked up some burgers.  I went to a place that I've been to before, but this time was different and I felt sick the rest of that even and had trouble sleeping that night.

Early Saturday morning, I had to take Samuel to the Bishop's storehouse to pick up his food order.  I was sleepy, but not I've had worse, so I shrugged it off.  Later that day, I made some chocolate cupcakes with chocolate-marshmallow frosting to take with me when I went to visit with the Larsens that night.  Amanda had a training to go to early in the morning and I since Ian was her ride, I stayed the night so the kids wouldn't have to be woken up.  However, even though I enjoyed my time seeing them again, I was still dealing with that lousy hamburger from the night before and I couldn't sleep.  While I did finally fall asleep, my adorable niece and nephew woke me up much earlier than I was comfortable with.  I visited a little bit longer while I ate breakfast and then I headed home.

I got home in time to meet my home teachers for a scheduled visit.  During the visit, I was getting more and more tired.  I just ignored it, but when I got up to show the two brothers out, I suddenly felt exhausted.  I said a prayer asking if I should go to church or make arrangements and sleep and felt that I should do the latter.  While Samuel was showering, I called and found him a ride and got a replacement teacher for my Sunday School class.  It wasn't long after Samuel was out the front door that I was out cold.  I awoke feeling much better.

I missed attending church and teaching my lesson, not because I visited with my family, but because I had an upset stomach from some bad food.  In the future if I'm feeling lazy, I should probably just eat some ramen.

Do Americans Have the Right to Be Stupid?

Recently, celebrity doctor, Dr. Oz, has come under fire for faulty advice he's given out on his show.  As a way to pay for his show, in addition to traditional commercials, he has endorsed homeopathic products with little or no scientific evidence of being effective.  Some people have even put Dr. Oz's advice over that of their own physician.  He is being sued for his false claims.

Here's the question that no one is asking: is he responsible for people blindly following his advice?  This isn't really about him endorsing products (celebrities do that all the time), this is about Americans wanting to place the blame for their own stupidity on someone else.

So, going back to the title of this post, do Americans have the right to be stupid?  I believe so.  If I want be lazy and not work, I shouldn't be forced to - nor should I be cared for if I take that route in life.  If I want to only eat junk food and avoid vegetables like the plague, the FDA shouldn't be there to put broccoli on my hamburger.  I'm not suggesting that all regulations cease; it's nice to know that there can be no more than one rodent hair per 100 grams of chocolate produced in the US and I don't want that to go away.  What I'm saying is that too often, we want to be protected from ourselves.

I for one do not see Dr. Oz as a villainous person that is taking advantage of his show to hock sugar pills to unsuspecting saps.  I also don't see him as a victim who was duped into selling worthless crap.  He's a guy that got caught up in being a celebrity.  People say that as an actual doctor, he should know better.  I say that we should know better than to treat an advertisement as medical advice.

I realize that I'm at an advantage when compared to the average American: I'm a member of a church that teaches it's members to look beyond the surface and gain a deep understanding of the truth for themselves and not to simply take someone else's word for it.  With that kind of outlook, it's a lot harder to get swept up in lies and half-truths.

Laughable

The other night, I received a call from an OSU student who was calling to make sure that my contact information was up to date.  After I confirmed my address and phone number, she asked if I had a few minutes to answer some survey questions directed to alumni.  I obliged, though I'm not a member of the Alumni Association, so technically I'm simply an OSU graduate.

Most of the questions were about my experience at the University, including why I chose it over other schools (when I said that I was originally from California, I could tell that the student worker was impressed, as if geographical location can make someone cooler).  I decided to be completely honest with the survey questions, saying that I felt that I received a good education but that OSU had several administrative policies that I disagreed with.  My answers were noted and we moved on the point of the call: donations.

I was expecting something like this, though the administrators were being particularly bold by asking for $250.  When she mentioned the amount, I excused myself, pulled the phone away and held it at arm's length, and laughed loud enough that my neighbors two floors below probably heard me.  I apologized for the interruption and explained that as long as I still have student loans to pay, I have no intention of making donations to my Alma mater - I did manage to refrain from expressing my opinion that the money would probably just go to the football coach's salary.

I feel a little bad that I acted like such an acute jack-ass to the young woman who was simply doing her job and supporting her school.  I have tried to root out those kinds of outbursts but I guess my cynical side comes out when my former over-priced college tries to bleed even more money out of me.  Perhaps this was still a success when it comes to behaving nicely: I didn't express anger at the donation request, I literally laughed it off.  Maybe by the next call I'll be more civilized and be able to get through the call without vigorously guffawing.  Maybe.

United in Friendship

Samuel mentioned to me recently that Mary, the sister from Nigeria, had had a birthday party for her daughter and no one from the ward showed up.  As Samuel put it, she felt that "no one loves her."  Seeing an opportunity to help amend some feelings, I invited her to a picnic sponsored by the Elder's Quorum.  She was happy to accept the invitation.

While at the picnic, we hung out with a newly moved-in family, Mike and his wife Allison.  While Mary did take some time to play with her daughter on the playground equipment, the four of us also played Bocce ball, though we were in a grassy field and not a sandpit.  I also brought some fresh-baked cookies to share.

Afterwards, I asked Mary if she was happy she came.  Her answer was an enthusiastic "yes."  While I can't say that all of the damage of hurt feelings has been mended, it does appear that Mary is at least open to the idea of spending time with members of the ward.

This was "family-style picnic" and it was expected for everyone to attend with their families.  As someone who is on his own, it would have easy to not attend.  However, I made plans so that not only I would have some place to be if I went, but I also invited a single mother who is in a similar situation.  It was an opportunity for me to work on making more connections and building friendships and I'm glad I took advantage of it.

Elephant in the Room

Today, July 11, 2014, Allison and I have been married for five years.  We've been separated for roughly half that time.

It's awkward talking to people since the fact that I'm married and separated eventually comes up.  I don't hide either that I'm married or that said marriage is estranged, but I rarely delve into anymore detail than that.  It's difficult for me, playing things so close to the vest: I'm usually a pretty open guy, but somethings aren't appropriate to share with the public, so I usually end up saying something stupid and vague like "it's complicated," which offers no real information.

Every couple goes through tough times, but being separated for nearly half your marriage is downright torturous.  I recently shared more details with a friend and he stared at me, nearly slack-jawed, and said, "I don't know how you manage.  If I had to go through that, I'd be a wreck."  It was a nice sentiment: I'm so accustomed to my situation, I sometimes forget what I'm really dealing with.

I don't write a lot about our separation, nor do I often talk about it.  I know that my friends and family worry about me and probably want more updates on our situation than I give but sometimes staying silent is best for all us.  I respect and appreciate the fact that everyone pretty much let's me be the one who decides when I share things and how much I say on the matter.  Believe me, I'm more frustrated about than anyone, which is why I often need to focus on other matters in which I am in more control.

Today's a weird day, but, if I'm being honest, all days are at least a little weird.

Additional Assignment

I was asked to attend Ward Council this week, despite the fact that my calling is just as a Sunday School teacher.  The reason?  I have volunteered my services as a tech writer to anyone who needs help beefing up their resume, so I was there to assist the Ward Employment Specialist.

I have not worked on too many resumes for ward members.  I've honestly helped with about three or four, but I'm now considered a required stop for all members seeking assistance from the ward.  The Bishop told me that I am performing an important service for the Ward, not just because I'm helping people improve their lives, but because I'm also acting as a gatekeeper of sorts: if members can't at least email me their resume to look at, then they may not deserve financial assistance.

Anyway, I attended Ward Council to confirm if certain members had contacted me with their resume or not.  Most had, though not all.  It was kind of weird being invited as an expert in my field and not because I'm serving in a leadership position.  I know that I've worked hard to obtain the skills that have but its still new to be recognized for it.  It's kind of cool.

As the meeting ended and I left, I reaffirmed my commitment to helping out anyone that needed it.  After all, it wasn't so long ago that I was in the same position.

Independent Celebrations

To celebrate Independence Day on Friday, I went and hung out with the Larsens.  It was very nice to spend time talking with Ian and playing with the kids.  It's still cool to have the kids run up to me to give me a hug, excitedly shouting "Uncle Jordan!" whenever I visit.  I doubt that will ever get old.

I also shared my granola that I made, which went over better with Ian than the kids, but that's fine; it has a bit of a roasted flavor, so it may be an acquired taste.

After dinner, we walked over to the park for the kids to play around on the equipment there.  This happened:

A happy crowd.

And, yes, the kids thought my longish hair was funny and asked a couple of times why I had a mustache.  Ian said I looked like a "hillbilly sage," though not a trustworthy one.  Also, he alluded that bushiness of my facial hair was evidence of substantial levels of testosterone - which means, even if you don't like it, my facial hair exudes masculinity.

In the end, everyone was happy to spend time together and I can't think of a better way to celebrate the 4th of July.

A Day of Independence

On Sunday, the Ward Choir sang our nation's anthem.  While that's not particularly special, I realized during our performance that when we sing only the first verse, we're really doing ourselves and our great country a disservice.  The first verse ends with trepidation, not knowing if the USA will survive the War of 1812.  By the final verse, however, we proudly proclaim that no only are we strong but we have God on our side.  It's really a beautiful song, inspiring feelings of patriotism, jingoism, and national pride.

Happy Independence Day!

Clean Bill of Health

I went to my doctor yesterday as a follow-up to my last visit about my depression.  He quickly assessed that I have improved to the point of not needing anti-depression medication.  It felt quite good to have my positive suspicions confirmed.

I then explained how when I first moved to the area, it was to find work, so my priority was not on meeting people.  Now that I'm finally secure with my employment again, I need to focus on making friends.  He hardily agreed.  He suggested that I look into either volunteering somewhere or signing up for an activity through the county's community program.  He seemed to think that competition would be good for me for some reason - I didn't bother explaining that I'm not terribly competitive.  The point is that he agreed that I need to be around people on a regular basis in a setting where I can talk to them and get to know them.  Signing up for an activity would give me an obligation to stick to; I just need to figure out what I should do.

I am happy to have my positive feelings confirmed by my doctor.  Now to find something to sign up for!