Elephant in the Room

Today, July 11, 2014, Allison and I have been married for five years.  We've been separated for roughly half that time.

It's awkward talking to people since the fact that I'm married and separated eventually comes up.  I don't hide either that I'm married or that said marriage is estranged, but I rarely delve into anymore detail than that.  It's difficult for me, playing things so close to the vest: I'm usually a pretty open guy, but somethings aren't appropriate to share with the public, so I usually end up saying something stupid and vague like "it's complicated," which offers no real information.

Every couple goes through tough times, but being separated for nearly half your marriage is downright torturous.  I recently shared more details with a friend and he stared at me, nearly slack-jawed, and said, "I don't know how you manage.  If I had to go through that, I'd be a wreck."  It was a nice sentiment: I'm so accustomed to my situation, I sometimes forget what I'm really dealing with.

I don't write a lot about our separation, nor do I often talk about it.  I know that my friends and family worry about me and probably want more updates on our situation than I give but sometimes staying silent is best for all us.  I respect and appreciate the fact that everyone pretty much let's me be the one who decides when I share things and how much I say on the matter.  Believe me, I'm more frustrated about than anyone, which is why I often need to focus on other matters in which I am in more control.

Today's a weird day, but, if I'm being honest, all days are at least a little weird.