Safety and Discomfort

I've been contacted by multiple family members, checking on me because of the riots that are happening in Baltimore right now.  To those that haven't asked but want to know: I am safe.  I don't live near, work near, or commute through any of the areas that are affected.

In fact, I was so oblivious to what was happening in the city that I decided to enjoy the sunshine on Monday by going for a run.  I've been staying fit by running on a treadmill at the gym during the winter, but there's just something special about running outside.  Once I started, I enjoyed it so much that when I finished my normal loop, I ran it again.  That's right, I ran 7.5 miles on little more than a whim (and I did it 67 minutes).

However.

The next morning I woke up with my left knee in pain.  I put on a knee brace and tried to stay off it, but it felt like I had twisted it pretty hard.  The fact that it's my left knee seems important.  About twelve years ago, when I was on my mission, I was hit by a bus while I was crossing the street.  Being a missionary, I was divinely protected and the only injury I sustained was my left knee was badly bruised.  So, I experienced a miracle and walked away from something that could have crippled me for life.  In fact, it's taken a dozen years for me to experience any negative side effects.  Not a bad deal.

Where does that leave me now?  My knee feels a lot better than it did yesterday and I plan on wearing the knee brace on my next run.  If that doesn't help, I'll see my doctor to discuss my options.  I'll stop running if I have to, but I want to know what other options I have.  For now, I'll just try to take it easy.

Tuesdays with Media: Many Shades of Black

Have you ever listened to a song that you haven't heard in a while and now it has a new meaning for you because of the way you life has changed since the last time you heard it?  I had that very experience recently with the song "Many Shades of Black" by The Raconteurs:

This is an odd one.  The music is lighthearted with a nice beat, but the lyrics are about a painful break-up.  The chorus in particular calls out to me:

Everybody sees / And everyone agrees

That you and I are wrong / And it's been that way too long

Take it as it comes / and be thankful when it's done

There's so many ways to act / and there's many shades of black

Break-ups aren't usually easy, but in retrospect, ours has been coming for a long, long time.  In an odd way, I'm happy that I now have that personal insight thanks to Jack White and Brendan Benson, the song's writers.

The Weekend Sad

On Saturday, I slept in until a little past noon.  That wasn't my intention, I just was really tired.  At first I just wrote it off to a result of my insomnia that comes and goes, but there's more going on.

I realized that unless I have plans to do something with friends or family, I mope around my apartment for the better part of every Saturday.  During the week, I have my job to get to and on Sundays I have Church, but I don't have anybody to see on Saturdays on a regular basis.  I don't mean to be dramatic, but if don't have plans for Saturdays, I get depressed.

This has been happening for a while, but I was able to ignore it for the most part.  I could do that because I was separated from my wife and was sad that we were apart and I was trying to work things out.  With us getting divorced now, it's much harder to ignore, or at least I notice that it's gone during the rest of the week.

I'm not saying that I need to start dating right away (I have to wait until the divorce is finalized), but I need to have some buddies to hang out with.  I have some friends in my ward that I am very close with, but they're all couples.  That'll be great when I'm part of a couple again, but it can also make it hard to just drop by.  "Hey, I know you have your family that you want to spend time with, but you should spend time with me instead."

I've already emailed my stake's rep for single adults to try to make some more friends, but after that, I'm kind of stumped.  Have any suggestions?

Novice No More

I'm not sure if I've mentioned this on the blog already, but Ian has been hired as a contractor to do video editing at Danfoss.  During my first few weeks working there, I was asked if I knew anyone that did video editing, so I mentioned that I had a brother that had made a couple of homemade movies with his kids.  That was enough to peak management's interest, so Ian submitted an audition video and was hired on to do the editing in his free time.  It works well for everyone: Ian gets to be a professional video editor and Danfoss gets great quality editing work at a discount, since this is Ian's first paid gig.

I bring all of this up, because this week, we started working on another video, this one about one of the valves that Danfoss makes.  I gathered the raw footage and sent it to him (via cloud), but gave him very little direction since it was pretty straight forward.

Or so I thought.

He sent me an email back asking for lots of details about what was in the footage.  You mean not everyone knows what a thermostatic expansions valve does and how it attaches to a system?  It isn't common knowledge what an evaporator coil does?  The difference between an air conditioning system and a heat pump is obvious?

Joking aside, those were all issues I had to cover.  I've gotten so used to being behind the curve when it comes to industry knowledge at work that I hadn't realized that I've learned a lot.  I'm by no means an expert, but I know more than just the basics when it comes to the HVACR industry.  And I have to admit, that feels pretty awesome.

Tick Tock

Yesterday was my father's 65th birthday.  It's nice that he's still so clear-minded at this age when so many other people lose their mental clarity as they get older.

His age got me thinking, and even got me to do some math: I, his third-born child, was born before he was thirty-three.  I'm thirty-two and and am still without children.  For those of you playing at home, that means my dad was well into having his family going by the time he was my age and I have to start over.

Now, I don't generally get existential.  I have little tricks to ease me into my birthday so it doesn't hit me all at once and even with the white hair in my beard and sideburns, I still look younger than I am (or so people tell me).  So imagine my surprise when I suddenly felt extremely old not on my birthday, but on my dad's.

This is not to say that I wish that Allison and I had had kids while we were trying to work things out.  Our divorce is going to be easier than it could have been because we only have to deal with each other.  And while I still hold to the fact that I don't regret the relationship I had with Allison, I also know that it's the best thing for both of us to get divorced.

But I'm really starting to feel my biological clock ticking.  I've always wanted kids, but now that desire is getting stronger.  I love my nieces and nephews and I even like (most of) my friends' kids, so I'm being reminded regularly that I'm not a dad yet.  And even if I meet the next Mrs. Larsen right after the divorce is finalized, we have to take into account courting and preparing the wedding, plus just being married for a little bit before we bring another life into the world, and we're looking at least a couple of years before I can add a new branch on my family tree.

Despite my frustration, I trust that the Lord is leading me in the right direction.  I just hope I don't have learn a new appreciation for patience before I get there.

Tuesdays with Media: Jim Gaffigan

Stand-up comedy has been around for a while.  Some vaudeville comedy routines transitioned into people simply standing on stage telling jokes.  However, as time has gone on, there have been more and more comedians that push the boundaries of decency.  It's not unusual for a popular comic's album to be have a language warning on the cover.  Fortunately, not everyone has decided follow this trend.

Jim Gaffigan has made a name for himself as a family-friendly comedian.  And while the above clip does have a little bit of toilet humor, it's minor and unoffensive.  I feel the need to point out that he didn't always keep things so clean.  His first album had it's share of swearing, but all of his later albums have been in the PG range of things.  He may have been motivated by trying to set a good example for his five kids or maybe he realized that without the swearing, his routine was TV-ready.

Another reason that I really like Gaffigan's work is that he has a lot of bits about food.  Like, a lot.  I think that might be the thing he's most known for.  And not only is eating something we can all relate to, but with my main hobby being "making delicious food," I especially appreciate his humor.

The one area that he jokes about that I don't care for is religion, though even then he's careful to make fun of his own religion's (Catholicism) quirks rather than religion or Christianity in general.  Also, even his Catholic jokes are still pretty innocuous, so even then he's not really offensive.

It's getting harder and harder to find a stand-up comedian that's safe to share with kids, but as long as Jim Gaffigan's around, we'll have a least one.

Real Friends

Last Sunday, my good friend, Mark Simcik, experienced some severe pain in his left shoulder.  It was intense enough that he asked a member of the ward that's a nurse about what could be the cause.  After explaining that the pain had migrated up into his jaw, she said that to be safe, he should go to the emergency room because it might be a heart attack.  After lots of tests (and even more waiting) he was told that he wasn't experiencing any cardiological abnormalities and scheduled for even more test.

When I heard what had happened, I stopped by the family's home the next day to check in and drop off a pie.  While he and Lori were out, their son gave me a brief update that his dad was fine and thanked me for the treat.

After no additional updates, I emailed Mark on Friday to share my concern about his wellbeing and to see if he needed any help the following day.  He said he could use a hand and we made arrangements.

The next day, I was updated on his state of health: we don't know for sure what happened, but it looks like it was probably a torn shoulder or something similar.  The pain has come and gone since last Sunday with no real pattern, but it's been manageable.

After he told me what had happened, we did a few things around the house (prepared the lawn mowers for the season, replaced some air filters and made sure the AC still worked, etc.), but mostly we hung out.  We shared stories about being frustrated about going to the ER, I gave him some advice about his AC system (even though I'm still really new to the HVACR industry, I still know more than an average person off the street), and we just enjoyed each other's company.  Lori said that after the ordeal he had had, having a relaxing Saturday was probably exactly what Mark needed.

This was a great experience for me.  For the last two winters, I helped Mark winterize his pool and he paid me for my time.  I was unemployed both times, so I was there as an employee, at least in part.  This time, I was purely there as a friend.  No payment was offered and none was required.  I was merely there to help out a friend in need and it was a great experience.

Fortunate

Yesterday, on my way home from work, I took my normal way home and due to a severe accident, my commute was stretched out from about fifty minutes to nearly three hours.  I was majorly inconvenienced, yes, but I was inconvenienced in my car that I'm paying for with money I make at my job that I got in part because of the degree I got from finishing college, not to mention that through the entire ordeal, I was safe from harm.

So, despite what happened, I consider myself a lucky man.  After all, you know how fortunate you are when you complain and it isn't about staying warm or having enough food to eat.

Not That Girl

Divorce is hard.  You have to admit to yourself that the person that was once your best friend should be permanently removed from your life.  You try to be calm and civil, but there are so many confusing emotions that you sometimes scream obscenities at your spouse.  They're probably doing the same thing, too, but that's no excuse.

During what we've gone through so far, it's been hard to have to talk to Allison to discuss how we'll end things.  We've both said that we want the other person to be happy, but we've also both screamed at the other for being the reason we have to get divorced.  Like I said, divorce is hard.

Last Saturday, Allison left me voicemail to give me an update.  Towards the end, she said something that was really poignant: "You have to have someone that's into your kind of lifestyle and I'm not that girl."  She's referring to the fact that she doesn't support my membership in the Church.  I know that she stopped attending Church years ago, but I was committed to her and I told her that even if she didn't attend Church with me, I would stay by her side.  The reality is that when you're a faithful member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, it affects every aspect of your life.  If your spouse doesn't agree with your faith, she won't agree with the majority of how you live your life.

Allison and I are both sad that things ended the way that they have and we'll both miss having the other as our best friend, but we also see that we have different priorities and goals, some of which are in conflict with each other.  It's too bad that we need to get divorced, but it's what needs to happen.

Tuesdays with Media: Product Placement

One of the big complaints that I kept encountering a couple of years ago with Man of Steel was all of the blatant product placement used through out the film.  I'm here to defend that practice.

First of all, I often feel like critics of product placement feel that it gets in the way of the art.  Though movies are a form of art, filmmakers still have a job to do, and that job is to make money.  We don't complain about commercial breaks on TV, mostly because we're accustomed to them, but for a long time, TV hosts would say that a show is "brought to you by" some brand of laundry soap or cigarettes.  So product placement in movies is newer (except that it isn't), but that doesn't mean that it corrupts the integrity of the producers who approved the use of product placement.

Going back to Man of Steel for an example, one of Clark Kent's friends from grade school grows up and becomes the manager of the local IHOP in Smallville, Kansas.  The restaurant is never named and the fact that it's an IHOP rather than a Denny's, a Waffle House, or a Bob Evan's is completely irrelevant.  By using IHOP's logo, it was quick shorthand for the audience that Clark's friend has a lousy job.  I noticed the IHOP logos, but Ian didn't.  I don't think that I'm more observant, I simply noticed because I worked at an IHOP for two and a half years.

Another reason that product placement can be good is that it's often more distracting if a fake product is used in its place.  For example, in the better-than-expected World War Z, Brad Pitt's character takes a quick break from running from zombies to have a refreshing drink.

"Ah!"

Yes, the Pepsi logo is prominently displayed, but wouldn't it be more distracting if the machine was filled with Zing Cola (which I just made up)?  By using a real-world product, it makes the film experience more immersive.

Whenever I see a movie that has noticeable product placement, I ask myself a couple of questions:

1) Does the particular product play a role in plot?
2) Is the product ever mentioned by name?

If the answer to both questions is "no," then I don't see a problem with it.  For example, in the nineties classic Honey, I Blew Up the Kid, the only way to get the shrink ray to work is to focus part of a laser beam through a coke bottle.  Bad science aside, that's really blatant because it breaks my two rules.

In the end, filmmakers' jobs are to make money.  We live a weird society that is built on the idea that if you work hard and are smart you will be rewarded with wealth, but if your pursuit is purely for wealth (which is the reward), than you are a bad person.  When producers are sitting down to figure out how to fund a movie, especially a movie that will require lots of expensive special effects, using product placement can be an easy way to secure more funds.  That doesn't mean that the movie will be better because it has better effects, just as it doesn't mean that a movie will be bad if uses product placement.  Man of Steel was not a perfect film, but the fact that it uses product placement does not make it terrible, either.

Cherry Blossom Festival

On Saturday, I went out to DC and got sunburned.  That's okay, I was spending time with my family.

First, Ian, his family, and I met up with Margot and her family and we watched the parade together.  I think the kids got more out of it than the adults, but that's fine.

It's important to teach kids about selfies at a young age.

After the parade and lunch (I brought little cherry tarts to share), we went to the Washington Monument to fly kites.  The kites had to be assembled, so we were fortunate that we had enough adults to be paired with each of the kids that were big enough to participate.  That is to say, the assembly was tough, the instructions were vague and unclear, and the wind was aggressive (look at the flags in the background).  We kept at it and everyone got at least a little air time.

 Sophie got plenty of attention later when I held her hand and helped her walk around.

 That kite in air was one of ours!

Clara, flying her kite as high as she could.

After we achieved as much lift as we could manage, we went to the National Museum of the American Indian (which was clearly named quite some time ago) and wouldn't you know it?  They were putting on a presentation of a traditional Cherokee dance.  For those of you keeping track at home, my generation is 1/16th Cherokee and the generation after is 1/32nd Cherokee.  No, it's not a lot of a connection, but it's more than any other tribe, so it was nice to get to learn a little bit more of that heritage.

Once that was done with, we realized that it was getting late and that we needed to part ways.  We tried to get a picture with Margot, Ian, and I, but the first spot we tried didn't have very good lighting.

Yes, I am the youngest person in this picture.

The next spot we tried still had lousy lighting:

Look how patriotic we are with our coordinated shirt colors!

Finally, we found a good spot:

Bryan told us to do a serious picture. Looks like one of us has trouble following directions.

When did Ian start smiling in pictures again?

Margot's expression makes me think a joke was just told, but I don't remember anything. 

Apparently, the joke was in poor taste. 

... really poor taste.

That was our Saturday.  You can't see my sunburn in any of the pictures, but I certainly felt it by the evening.  Even so, it was worth getting cooked a little to get to see my family and spend time with them.

Insomnia Cure?

While I was staying at the Larsens' last weekend, I didn't have trouble falling asleep even once.  The reason?  I was constantly around people.

The less well-known definition for introvert is "someone who gains energy while alone," making an extrovert "someone who gains energy while with people."  According to these definitions, I am an introvert that is pretty outgoing.  It also means that when I'm with people, I use up energy, simply by being around them.

When I'm at home, I'm not around anyone (Samuel's working the night-shift these days), so my energy levels build up.  But it was different at the Larsens'.  I wasn't extra tired when I went to bed, but I fell asleep easily once I laid down for the night.

What this all means is that to cure my insomnia, I need to get married again.  I did it once, so it can't be that hard, right?

Easter 2015

A couple of weeks ago, I got a call from Clara.  She asked if I could come and visit, make cinnamon rolls, and she could be my helper.  I was touched, of course, that my desserts had made an impact and that not only were the goodies seen as treats, but even helping to make them was a treat, too.  I worked out with Ian when would work best for both of us and we decided to do it on the weekend of Easter.

Saturday morning, before Conference started, Clara, Henry, and I went into the kitchen to make cinnamon rolls.  The both commented on how stinky the yeast was and kept track of each other to make sure that they helped only when it was their turn.  Surprisingly, when it came time to taste the spoils of our labors, they both whined that they didn't like it.  I did make a cream cheese frosting this time rather than a basic icing like last time, but it was still a surprising display on their part.  Their dad used this as a teaching opportunity about thinking about others' feelings (mine) and trying things we think we may not like.  And wouldn't you know it?  They loved them!  (I got to hand it to you, parents: you really have to put up with some petty crap.)

On Easter morning, the kids woke me up by screaming over what the "Easter Bunny" had left the night before.  After a hearty breakfast (that included cinnamon rolls), the kids dyed eggs with their dad's help while I took a shower.  The weather's only just gotten nice in the last few days, so even though it was Sunday, the kids were sent outside to run around.

Our next meal was to be our biggest, so during the first session of Conference, I put Ian's spiral-cut ham in the oven, adding more glaze every twenty minutes.  The ham came out just at the end of the session, but we weren't ready for it yet.  The kids Skyped with their maternal grandparents with their dad while I hung out in the background and turned the dyed eyes into deviled eggs.  We also had some rolls and vegetables with our ham and eggs to make it an Easter feast.

I would have been over to visit on Easter anyway, but it was really nice that I was asked for a specific treat and got to watch Conference with my brother and his family.

My extended family is either really close to the camera or really big.

I hope you had a great Easter, too.

Tuesdays with Media: Seinfeld

Seinfeld was a sitcom that aired from 1989 to 1998, though reruns continue to air to this day.  The basic premise of the show was where Jerry, a stand-up comedian, got his ideas for his jokes.  Yes, there was a big joke about how the "show [was] about nothing," but the original idea was that life is full of funny things that we can all relate to and laugh at together.

The really great thing about the show, in my opinion, was that all of the main characters were horrible people.  So many of the episodes were sharing the message of, "We can all relate to this one weird quirk about life, but that just makes us awful people."

I recently saw an episode where George, played by the very talented Jason Alexander, complains that he didn't get credit for putting money in the tip jar at a pizza place he went to because the cashier looked away when he added the money.  He further says that the only reason he ever tips anyone is so he can look like a nice guy.

The really funny part happened a few weeks later during a Sunday School lesson on the Sermon on the Mount.  We read and discussed where the Savior tells us to do our good works in secret and those that do their good works for the praise of men already have their reward.  So here was an episode that had a main plot point hinge around getting the praise of men for doing a good deed.  There were other great lessons to be learned from other episodes, as long as you do the opposite of what the main characters do.  Is it any wonder that the series ended with the four main characters being sent to prison?

So remember, Seinfeld wasn't a show about nothing, it was a show about how not to live your life.

General Conference, April 2015

Boy, I hope the rest of you got something out of Conference because I'm pretty sure most of the talks were written expressly for me.

The biggest theme that I saw was the importance of families and marriage, especially eternal marriage.  I've shared before that while my current marriage is coming to an end, I feel a very strong need to get married again; I know some people would get frustrated and give up completely on the institution of marriage, but in a lot of ways, my testimony of the need for marriage is stronger than ever.  With nearly every talk mentioning marriage or families at least briefly, it's clear that I have the right idea and that once my divorce is finalized, I need to not delay in finding the next Mrs. Larsen.

Being Easter, there were a lot of talks that also mentioned the atonement, though that's normal for Conference, even in the fall.

The only other topic that seemed to stand out to me as being repeated was that we live in perilous times and we need to both protect ourselves from the power of the Adversary and the World and also stand as witnesses of the gospel at all times and in all places.

Conference is something that I always look forward to, but I can't remember the last time it seemed like so many talks were written directly to me.  I don't know if that means that I just needed the extra strength or if I'm more in tune with the Spirit than usual.  With the way things have been going lately, it's probably a combination of both.

Metaphor

Another story that I wrote some time ago.  When I wrote it, I had just had my seizure and was still coming to terms with what had happened.  In an attempt to better see things from her perspective, I wrote this story from Allison's perspective.  Like with the other story, I changed the details, but the basic story is biographical.

Yoked

I've been following the lesson plan for Sunday School this year, which means I've been reading the New Testament.  After the Book of Mormon, the New Testament is the standard work with which I am most familiar, which means that I'm not so much following the narrative as I am looking for details that I missed before.

Recently I read where the Savior tells us to "take [his] yoke upon [us]" and find rest.  I looked up what a yoke was, even though I already knew what I would find.  What really helped was an image to better help us visualize what the yoke is.

Again, I knew what a yoke looked like, but this time, I really needed to see it.  While I know that the common interpretation is that we're strapped to one side with the Savior on the other, this time I saw it differently.  Christ is the master, the one who places the yoke of responsibility upon us, but who then is sharing the yoke with us?  Our spouse.  This simple metaphor that he gave is about eternal marriage.  While we're alone, we can still have a relationship with Christ, but we have just a basic harness to pull.  Once we make the highest covenant we can make in this life, we are part of a partnership.

I've been pulling my yoke all alone for awhile now.  I look forward to finalizing the end of my current partnership and finding someone who will pull her share of the yoke.