Divorce is hard. You have to admit to yourself that the person that was once your best friend should be permanently removed from your life. You try to be calm and civil, but there are so many confusing emotions that you sometimes scream obscenities at your spouse. They're probably doing the same thing, too, but that's no excuse.
During what we've gone through so far, it's been hard to have to talk to Allison to discuss how we'll end things. We've both said that we want the other person to be happy, but we've also both screamed at the other for being the reason we have to get divorced. Like I said, divorce is hard.
Last Saturday, Allison left me voicemail to give me an update. Towards the end, she said something that was really poignant: "You have to have someone that's into your kind of lifestyle and I'm not that girl." She's referring to the fact that she doesn't support my membership in the Church. I know that she stopped attending Church years ago, but I was committed to her and I told her that even if she didn't attend Church with me, I would stay by her side. The reality is that when you're a faithful member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, it affects every aspect of your life. If your spouse doesn't agree with your faith, she won't agree with the majority of how you live your life.
Allison and I are both sad that things ended the way that they have and we'll both miss having the other as our best friend, but we also see that we have different priorities and goals, some of which are in conflict with each other. It's too bad that we need to get divorced, but it's what needs to happen.
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