Easter 2017

Easter was busy for Leah and me. We had decided to host Easter dinner and had invited her family and mine, though not everyone was available. In the end, we had Ian, Sherlin, Leah's dad Ulf, and her younger sisters, Megan and Allison, over. (From now on, when I mention Allison, assume I'm referring to Leah's youngest sister.)

I was a bit ambitious with the meal that I planned, though thankfully it all worked out. We made a spinach salad with strawberries, feta cheese, and sliced almonds; a spiral-cut, honey-glazed ham; sauteed green beans with garlic and cranberries; deep fried sweet potato french fries; and a trifle with blueberries, strawberries, and pound cake for dessert. Leah was a champ on the deep fryer and did a lot of prep work by slicing all of the strawberries and about half of the sweet potatoes. The trifle gave me problems as I didn't have enough pound cake and had to quickly bake another, though I probably ran out because Leah and I kept munching on it before I assembled the cake.

Dinner was great, if a bit crowded in my tiny apartment. I don't usually get to entertain in my home (and this was certainly the biggest group that I've fed here), so it was nice to be able to plan out the meal and execute it -- having Leah as my assistant made it even nicer. After most of the guests left (Megan hung out for a while afterwards), I collapsed on the couch, exhausted but happy.

Number Three

I have a long history of getting hand-me-down furniture.  My desk and office chair were saved from being thrown away at work, my dresser and couch were given to me from a family that was moving out of Ellicott City, my loveseat was given to me by Ian (who had gotten it secondhand), my TV cabinet was included with a TV which I no longer own, and I picked up my living room end table next to a dumpster.  Only my bed and kitchen set are brand new.

At least they were.

That, dear reader, is my brand new TV cabinet.  I picked it out months ago on Amazon, but never completed the order.  Getting a new cabinet wasn't a priory since I already had one, plus I wanted some time to recover from my big purchase of a new TV.  Well, I decided to finally order it and it came last Friday.  I spent the evening assembling it, which was pretty straightforward if time-consuming.  Now, I have a sharp -looking cabinet and my third piece of brand new furniture.

Looking Like a Home

I've been living in my current apartment for nearly a year, and while I've had visitors from time to time, I've never had anyone over for dinner.  The biggest obstacle with that was the fact that I didn't own a dining room table.  I recently noticed that the Elders in my ward aren't getting a lot of dinner appointments, and I decided that it was time I got a table so I could help them out.

On Saturday, Ian was kind enough to lend me the use of his truck (with him as the driver) and we visited IKEA.  I had done my research and I knew what I wanted, so the trip was pretty quick.  I've learned over the years that paying extra for natural materials will make the item in question last much longer (I learned that the hard way with shoes), so I got a table made of solid wood.  Now, the wood is pine, so it's still not fancy or anything, but I am happy with my purchase.

Assembling it was an easy if time consuming task and I was able to eat my dinner at my new table by that evening.

A simple table for a simple home.

Now armed with a dining set, I signed up to feed the Elders tomorrow night.  It should be fun.

The Weekend Where Everything Happened

My weekend was long and full of adventure:

• I reduced my medication and was full of energy again starting Saturday.
• I met Ian, Sherlin, and the kids for lunch and playing.  The younger kids still make sure that I take turns flipping them around and fulfill my duties as the Fun Uncle.
• We went to a barbecue hosted by Jimmy, the guy who plays lead guitar in our not-a-band.
• We had a jam session in front of everyone (the only people who were really invested were the ones we brought).  We were missing our drummer, Joe, and his absence was really felt, but it still felt so good to play with a group again.  And I don't know if the others could tell, but my lessons are really paying off.
• I got home late because I stopped for groceries on the way home and my neighbor asked for some help moving a dresser into his upstairs apartment.  After the dresser was in its new home, he offered me money as reward, but I refused (as I did to his offer of beer); I did, however, accept a box of high-quality chicken breast -- the man works as a delivery man for a meat company and was allowed to use some product for his own purposes, so he used one box to pay me. I may have to help him again.
• I attended a Linger Longer after church on Sunday and stayed the whole time and talked and met new people -- it's amazing what happens when you're not depressed and have energy to do something about it.
• I cleaned up my dining room that had been messy for months due to my depression.
• I baked a loaf of whole wheat fig bread, a strawberry cake, and a double batch of cream cheese cookies.  I took them with me for my visit with my good friends the Simciks.  It was so good seeing them again.  In fact, when I got there, my arms full of goodies, I went right in their open door so I could put the food down before turning to see Mark and suddenly I was giddy with excitement.  Based on how he and Lori reacted, they were too.  It was just like seeing family that you haven't seen in a while.  It was so wonderful talking with them and sharing a meal (the loaf of bread was intended for Samuel, my old roommate, which they promised to pass on).  When it came time for them to leave for a dinner engagement, Lori started debating if they should flake out to stay and continue visiting, but I made their decision easy for them by making my way to the door.  Hugs were exchanged and we agreed that we needed to meet again sooner and not go so long between visits.
• On my way home, I stopped by a clothing store to return some pants that I decided did not fit as well as I had thought in the store.  When I was parking, I noticed a set of missionary Elders walking around.  I made sure to say hi them and ask how they were doing.  I told them what ward I attend and they named some of the Elders serving there, though I had trouble confirming all of them (we have four companionship in my ward).  It was about 5:30, so I asked them if they had a dinner appointment that evening.  They admitted that they did not, so I told them to wait while I handled the return and then I'd take them to dinner.  I had them pick the restaurant because I didn't know the area very well (I knew the store I had gone to and not much else), so we went to a Chinese buffet.  We talked about where they're from and what they're plans are for careers and education, but they mostly asked about me.  After they were sufficiently fed (I had a few pieces of sushi, but I was mostly full from my visit with the Simciks), I paid the bill and I drove the Elders back to their car in the parking lot where I had seen them earlier.  As they got out of the car, they asked for my name because they want to talk me up to the Elders in my ward when they see them at the next Zone meeting.
• I came home and made banana bread to take to work tomorrow.

Like I said, my weekend was busy.  Busy, but great.

So That's What the Floor Looks Like ...

One of the worst things about depression is that it takes away your motivation to do even essential things.  Like when the weekends came and if I didn't have plans to meet anyone, I would stay inside, desperately in need of a shower.  Well, the same thing happened with my apartment.  In fact, I can't remember the last time I even vacuumed was.

Until Sunday.  You see, now that I'm off of levetiracetam, I'm cleaning my home again!  Even in my depressed state, I kept my kitchen clean, but the rest of the place went to pot.  I made a big step in correcting that this past Sunday.  After I got home from Church, I started doing laundry.  Instead of throwing everything in a "clean pile" when it was done, I folded and put it all away.  I cleaned up my living room enough that if I have impromptu guests, they'll have a place to sit.  I even vacuumed.  Not only does everything look nicer now that it's all clean, I've noticed that I'm able to feel the spirit more.

Now, I'm not done cleaning.  I have a lot of piled-up junk mail to throw out and I need to toss some grocery bags, but at least I've gotten started.  It feels good to be productive again.

Heck of a Week

I've had a rough week.  The sleep study threw me off, first by making it so I had to skip the gym and second by making me endure the anxiety of having a stranger touch my face and head as they attached electrodes.  Despite my best efforts, I was unable to make it to the gym the rest of the week.  I've mentioned before that exercise helps me keep my anxiety and depression in check and without it, I was drowning.  It got so bad that when I got to work yesterday, I felt like I was going to break down and cry at my desk.

I decided that I needed to do something, so I text messaged my home teacher and asked him for a blessing that evening.  I've been honest with him about my recent struggles, so he wasn't surprised and he agreed to meet me soon after I got home from work.  Throughout the rest of the day, I got a bit better and I was able to be productive (and I never cried).

When I got home, I was nervous about having a visitor since my apartment is not in great shape.  I keep my kitchen clean, but I haven't cleaned the rest of it in a while.  It's not filthy or anything, but there's clutter that needs to be taken care of.  Picking things up would probably only take about twenty minutes, but since I've had trouble leaving the house some days, having a clean apartment hasn't been a priority.  Still, I at least cleared off one of my couches in case he wanted to sit down.

I didn't have to wait long before there was a knock at my door.  I let in my home teacher, Rob, and a member of the Elder's Quorum presidency, Mike.  I thanked them for coming and explained that I suspected that my worsening symptoms might be caused by the nocebo effect (basically, since I found out about the side effects of levetiracetam, my symptoms caused by the medication have worsened).  They administered to me and I was told to turn to my family for strength and comfort and to remember that the ward is here to help me.  I instantly felt better.

After I got up and shook their hands, we chatted for about ten minutes.  They both have struggled with depression and offered some advice on how they cope (I also learned that Mike went to the MTC with an Elder who served in my mission, had a seizure while behind the wheel, and was sentenced to a year in jail.  I didn't remember the Elder's name, but the specifics were close enough that asked where the Elder served and, sure enough, it was Cleveland, Ohio.  Small world.).  As we chatted, we ended up making plans for a game night on Tuesday.  Who knew that depression could bring people together?

After Rob and Mike left, I decided to go for a run.  The weather was beautiful for this time of year, and I needed to do some exercising.  Since the sun was going down, I made sure to wear my reflective visibility vest so drivers would see me.  I was nearly done with my run when I got distracted, didn't watch where I was stepping, and tripped and fell.  It was weird because it seemed like nearly recovered three separate times before I finally met the pavement.  I skinned my right elbow, got some scrapes on my right leg, and I think I the bruised the palm of my right hand and part of my left foot (I won't know for sure for a couple of days).  All in all, it could have been much worse.  I was even able to run the rest of the way home.

There is one truly annoying thing that happened, though: I fell on my phone.  Since I don't have a fancy smart phone, it'll be easy and inexpensive to replace.  The good news is that my phone still works; the bad news is that with the screen busted, I can't send or receive texts (I mean, I can, but I won't be able to read them).  Even with the injuries and busted phone, I'm happy that I went running.

This week has not been an easy one, but I have reasons to believe that the future will be brighter.

(In)convenient Home Delivery

One of the ways that online shopping advertises itself as being more convenient than shopping in brick-and-mortar stories is that you simply click a few links, enter your payment and shipping information, and your items are delivered right to your door.

Except when they're not.  I ordered some items from Amazon recently and, because I pay for the additional Prime membership, I automatically got upgraded to two-day shipping.  So, I came home on Friday expecting my package, only to find a note from UPS saying that they didn't deliver anything since no one was home.  I've had to go through this sort of thing in the past, so I signed the back of the note on the "X" and put the note back on my door on Monday morning.

When I got home on Monday, there was nothing.  No package, no note: nothing.  I become worried that the package got lost over the weekend or that one of my neighbors took the box right off of my door mat.  I looked up my order on Amazon to get the tracking number to see what happened on UPS' end.  It turns out, that they weren't asking for my signature with the earlier note; they just let me know that they would try again on the next weekday.  When no one answered the door on Monday, they took my box to an Access Point, which was located in a convenience store, though not one that was particularly close.  I called ahead and confirmed that they had my package before I left.  Once there, the process of getting my box was easy enough and I was out the door in less than five minutes.

Here's the thing: part of the reason I ordered online was to avoid going anywhere.  While I had other motivations (picking exactly the items I wanted, getting a better deal than was available in local stores, etc.), staying at home was still part of the deal.  And while I understand why UPS did what they did, they should have left me a note the second time to tell me that I would have to pick up my package.

The moral here is that I don't like being inconvenienced.  And these days, isn't the act avoiding inconveniences the American way?

Winning the War

Soon after I moved into my current apartment, I discovered that my kitchen had become a breeding ground for fruit flies.  While I certainly prefer to deal with an infestation of fruit flies than houseflies, my ultimate goal is to not deal with any arthropodic invaders at all.  I keep my kitchen very clean and any fruit I have is either stored in the fridge or in a closed bag, so I was quite surprised to be dealing with any flies let alone so many.

I talked to my sister, Margot, about my frustrations with having to hang fly ribbons and she suggested putting out an open jar of apple cider vinegar as a trap.  The vinegar attracts the flies and, thanks to a drop of dish soap, the surface tension is broken so that when the flies try to feed, they fall in and drown.  I put out a trap the next day, but only a few flies took the bait.  I was still catching plenty of flies on the ribbons, but there were still even more inside my kitchen trash can.

I did some research online and decided that the vinegar trap was only half of a solution: I needed to take away their other food source.  I emptied the trash and replaced the liner so I could start with a blank slate and I reset the vinegar trap.  Additionally, anytime I threw away any fruit or vegetable matter, I wrapped it in a grocery bag to add a layer between the garbage and the flies.

The next day, the vinegar trap was a very popular place.  It had captured a few dozen flies, but there were several dozen more hanging out nearby (maybe waiting for the line shorten).  There were no flies in the trash can and the fly ribbons were disgustingly crowded.  Within a week, the trap had captured about fifty flies and there were only one or two flies buzzing around.

We're now about a month removed from when I first put my plan into action and there's still about one or two fruit flies hanging around.  I don't know if I can completely get rid of them, but with my current plan in place, they will at least be very well controlled.

Repurposed

I am writing this post from the same computer that I've used for the past couple of years, but I'm using it from a new position: seated at a desk.  This weekend, Ian helped me pick up a desk that was being discarded from my office and take it back to my apartment.

A few months ago, I noticed that a lot of desk chairs had accumulated in one corner of the warehouse that's near my pseudo photography studio.  I jokingly referred to that part of the warehouse as the "office chair graveyard."  More recently, an unwanted desk, a couple of whiteboards, and a few pieces of abstract art were added to the collection.  I asked about what was going on with all of the stuff and was told that these were items that were no longer needed in the office and were being collected to make it easier to get rid of when a disposal service came to get them.  I was also told that if I wanted anything, I was welcome to it.

This last Friday, I visited the Larsens after work and ended up staying over until Saturday.  I helped Ian do some work to get rid of some cat odors from his carpet and I mentioned offhandedly that I could get a free desk if I arranged the pick-up with someone with a truck.  He immediately asked if I wanted to go pick it up that day.  I was surprised, not at his willingness to help me (as he has proven that several times over already), but I didn't expect him to jump at the chance to help so soon.  The kids were with their mom, so we finished the work on the carpet and drove to the office.

When we arrived, I showed Ian what was available and made it clear that if he wanted anything in the pile, he should take it.  I already knew what I was taking (the one desk and a particular desk chair), but Ian tested out several chairs before finding one with which he was happy.  With the furniture firmly strapped down, we drove to my apartment.

I honestly can't think of a time that I've had a personal desk of my own since high school.  Even if I'm forgetting of some time since then that I was properly desk'd, I certainly haven't had a desk since I was married.  Having a laptop has meant that a desk was a luxury, so I've been doing fine without one.  Still, it feels nice having an official place to sit and do computer stuff in my home.

Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!

I want you to do something for me.  Find a dollar bill, the denomination is unimportant.  Got it?  Okay, look at it with the portrait facing up.  Now, fold the bill in half so that the long edge is shortened.  Do that same fold again, so that the bill is its normal height but only a quarter its length.  Now look at the folded bill and imagine a brown wolf spider about that size, only the legs half off of the edges.  That's what I found in my apartment Monday morning.

[Pause for screaming and/or skin-crawling to subside]

I got up earlier than usual on Monday so I could go into the office and teleconference with the other technical writers in Denmark.  However, I was also expecting maintenance to come by to repair a busted closet, so I decided to tidy up a bit.  I'd kept my room mostly in order, but I had some jeans on the floor that I needed to fold and put in the dresser.  I picked up the jeans and saw the wolf spider on the floor.  I immediately dropped the clothes and shook my arms and legs -- not because I wanted to make sure I didn't have a spider on me, but because I had an extreme case of the willies.

I said a quick prayer and decided to suck it up with the hose of the vacuum.  Once the vacuum was set up, I attached the wand so I didn't have to get any closer than necessary.  I tried to suck the spider up, but it walked away a little, apparently only annoyed.  I was already feeling anxious, but after a failed attempt at eliminating my foe, my anxiety turned into panic.  The problem with finding arachnids on carpet is that it's really hard to smash them.  When I was in Oklahoma, Allison and I found two live scorpions in our apartment, both on the carpet.  I smashed the first with a hardcover textbook, but it took six or seven really hard whacks to kill it.  Allison sucked up the other one with the vacuum, which is probably why I thought to use that tactic again.  (In case you're wondering, I'll take scorpions over spiders any day.)

I said another prayer, this one while stuttering, and felt prompted to use the vacuum again, but this time I used the spinning brush.  The spider hadn't moved since the last attempt, but I was still freaking out.  I psyched myself up and quickly ran it over with the vacuum.  Well, I tried to run it over.  What ended up happening was I shoved the spider against the baseboard and smashed it.  Not what I was going for, but I'll take it.  However, the spider still wasn't dead!  I had busted it up pretty bad, but it was still trying to hobble away.  I switched back to the hose (and wand!) and sucked up the half-dead spider.  With the spider finally dispatched, I relaxed and let out a quick scream.

This was not the first spider I've found in my new apartment, but it is the first one that didn't spin a web.  Spiders with webs, while I don't like them, are pretty harmless.  And yes, I know that the only poisonous spider in Maryland, the black widow, spins a web.  I'm not talking about physically harmless but psychologically harmless.  If the spider is a spinner, it's going to hang out in the corner and leave me alone.  Wolf spiders don't spin and can get ridiculously big.  That makes it tough for a man who, for the most part, has conquered his arachnophobia.  I've called the apartment manager about the problem to see if we can figure something out because three-inch (plus!) long wolf spiders are not acceptable.

The Rack

Have I mentioned how little I use my dishwasher?

Moved, Again

Yesterday, I went back to my old apartment and helped Samuel move out.

Samuel was much harder to move out. Not in moving his belongings, but in finding him a new place to stay.  He's working two jobs right now, but he's still not making very good money.  Even with the ward promising to support him by paying part of his rent, he couldn't find anything that he qualified for, since most places have income requirements as part of the application.  Add to that the fact that his family is up for an interview with the American embassy next month to be granted approval to move here, he also needed a place that could quickly adjust to having an additional three people in it.  Things were looking bleak when the week before he had to be out, he found an apartment that is large enough to accommodate having his family, doesn't require an income check as part of the application, and is affordable with the ward's help and -- and this is important -- comes with a roommate.  Samuel did some coordinating with his fellow countrymen and found someone that was willing to be his roommate on the condition that he'll move out when Samuel's family is approved to move here.  The lease is in Samuel's name this time, so that will help his renter's history for the future, too.

With the details finally worked out, we still had to move him.  When I moved, I rented a U-Haul so I could get everything in one vehicle.  Samuel didn't have that option, so we simply used some pickups that ward members had.  Unfortunately, it was forecast to rain hard that day.  Thankfully, it rained hard in the afternoon and by the time we got to the scheduled time for the move, the skies were clear.

The move went very quickly.  Samuel and I shared a one bedroom apartment, with nearly all of his stuff crammed into the dinning room.  I mostly just went through to make sure that he didn't leave anything behind.  Good thing I did, because he left behind several things.  I also went through and did some basic cleaning to help the apartment staff out.

As I was finishing up, Mark (who had stayed behind to help) told me that before I approached Samuel to be my roommate, that he had thought of the same plan, but we were already planning on Samuel moving in before he could bring it up to me.  I took that as further confirmation that our time as roommates was divinely inspired.  Mark also pointed out that having Samuel there was a benefit to me as well, since I had my portion of the rent lowered.  I agreed and pointed out that having someone in the apartment that likes to talk was probably good for me during my bouts of unemployment since it often helped me feel less depressed by being forced to talk to someone -- it's not that I didn't like Samuel, it's just that being unemployed was very depressing and when I get depressed, I tend to shut down and turn inward; having him around helped with that.

So, I wish Samuel the best.  We were roommates much longer than either of us planned on, but it all happened the way it was supposed to.  Good luck, 'mate.

Apartment Pros and Cons

I like my new apartment, but there are some things that were nicer about my old place.  Here's a list of pros and cons regarding my new home.

Pro
It's close enough to my office that my commute is only about twelve minutes long.

Con
I have to figure out a new morning routine since I don't have enough time to listen to the scriptures on the way to work.

Pro
I'm halfway underground, which should make a huge difference in my heating/cooling bill.

Con
I'm no longer on the top floor, so I get to hear my neighbors whenever they move around, despite them not being particularly noisy.

Pro
The rent is much lower than my previous place, meaning I don't need a roommate in order to live comfortably.

Con
I'm not in as nice a neighborhood.  I don't fear for my safety or my property, but there's a reason this place is cheaper.

Pro
I get free access to a pool and a small gym.

Con
Being that the neighborhood isn't as nice, I don't have access to several miles of non-busy streets to go running on, so I may end up using the gym more often than I'd like (I ran for about an hour yesterday, but nearly all of it was spent on the sidewalk of a main road).

Pro
I've already found a tasty and inexpensive Chinese/Japanese restaurant within walking distance -- the only Chinese or Japanese places near my old place were either expensive, not very good, or both.

Con
I have yet to find any Korean restaurants in the area.  My old place had five or six Korean places nearby and they were all great.  Maybe I just haven't found it yet...

Pro
I'm where the Lord wants me to be.  I'd put a "Con" about how I'll miss my old ward, but that would make my complaint appear to have equal weight to the Lord's desires for me, which it does not.

So, while I'll miss certain things about my old place, it's nice that I've so quickly found things that I like about my new home.

The Big Move

I guess I've put it off long enough.  So, how'd the move go?

I stayed up late the night before, packing.  I didn't quite finish, but I was ninety percent done, so I figured I was close enough.  I then slept fitfully, probably due to the stress of moving the next day.

The morning arrived and I realized that I hadn't planned for picking up the U-Haul, so I made a few calls and found someone who could give me a ride so I wouldn't have to leave my car at the rental place.  Picking up the truck was a little weird: there were no signs that this place rented out trucks other than half-a-dozen trucks parked out front, the building looked like it was abandoned, and I signed a hand-written contract.  If that wasn't strange enough, I made it half-way to my apartment when I got a call asking me to come back since they had rented me the wrong truck.

When I finally got back home, I made it just as the first mover, my friend Mark Simcik, arrived.  We started moving some things, but with my left arm still out of commission from my seizure, we mostly just planned things out.  Soon enough, the missionary Elders arrived and moved the four major pieces of furniture for us, before they had to leave.  Luckily, that's right when another family from the ward came to help with the rest.  Ian showed up towards the end, but he brought pizza, so he was heartily welcomed.

When it came time to drive to my new place, the father of the other family asked if we would need any help unloading.  We accepted his help and drove to the new place.  After some traffic issues, we made it and started unpacking.  The unloading went much faster and right at the end, the first two Elders from before showed up to lend a hand one more time -- apparently, they were in the area to help out with a baptism, so I'm certain they got tons of extra blessings for all of the work they put in that day.

One problem that I discovered when we first got to my new place was that the power was off.  I had planned ahead and had contacted the electric company, asking them to start the service in my new place.  They assured me it was all taken care of, but such was not the case.  And, because it was the weekend, my power stayed off until I could call and talk to someone on Monday, which is when it was actually activated.  I asked Ian if he would mind me staying at his place over the weekend, which he was happy to accommodate.  I packed a bag, threw it in Ian's truck, and we went to deliver the moving truck.

The first place that we went to (address provided by Google) was just a gas station with a drop box for the key.  With only my hand-written contract, I decided to try for something a little more official.  There was an actual U-Haul center not far away, so we set off again.  When we got there, they had no record of me renting the truck.  They had the truck on file, but not my rental agreement.  I showed them the contract (actually, a carbon-copy of the contract), which they didn't know how to process.  After a few calls to managers were made, they figured it out and gave me an official, laser-printed receipt saying that I had paid my balance and that I owed nothing.  Happy with the result, we drove back to my old place for me to pick up my car (and to drop the other Brother off).

My weekend at the Larsen's was enjoyable, as expected.

On Monday, I got to have a long commute again, since I was driving from even farther away than I was used to when living at my old place.  I called the electric company as soon as their office was opened and I was promised that the power would be turned on as soon as a technician could get there.  I went by my apartment on my lunch break to see if the power was indeed on, which it was.  I set the A/C to something reasonable so that everything would be nice and comfortable when I got home from work.  That was a good plan, since it was particularly hot and humid that day.  Unfortunately, maintenance had done a lousy job of preparing my apartment, because when I got home, it was hotter inside than out.  The thermostat said it was 92 °F and what little air was blowing out of the vents felt only slightly cooler than my skin temperature.  I called emergency maintenance to come take a look and when the technician arrived, he discovered that my apartment was equipped with a "manual override" on the heater, which had been left on.  So the A/C was on, but so was the heater.  He also found that the air filter was filthy and in desperate need of replacing.  With these issues taken care of, the place finally started cooling down and was a comfortable 75 °F when I went to bed that night.

So, I'm all moved in.  It wasn't as easy as I was hoping for, but it was still mostly straight forward.  Now I just need to learn the area I'm living in now and I should be all set.  With my sense of direction, that should only take a year or two.

Moved

I successfully moved into my new apartment this weekend with the help of Ian and the good people of the ward that I moved out of.  Unfortunately, it took until Monday morning for my electricity to be activated Monday night for my internet to be turned on.  Because of all of this, I'm barely posting today and skipping tomorrow.

Sorry.

Expect more details of the move on Wednesday.

Dare I?

Here's an interesting dilemma I'm facing this weekend: I should be moving into my new place tomorrow, but my muscles are still recovering.  How much do I do?  Dare I do any of the heavy lifting myself?

That's right, I found my new home last week.  I was surprised, but last Saturday I was prompted to submit an application and yesterday I signed the lease.  It's not perfect -- no place is -- but it has all of the features that I was looking for and it's ten minutes from the office.  Best of all, the Spirit confirmed that I should move into the ward associated with this apartment.  I am sad to be leaving the good people of the Ellicott City Ward, but I'm excited to meet the new people who are going to be a part of my life.

Hopefully, I'll hear back from the Elder's Quorums of both my current ward and future ward so I;ll be able to move without having to put myself at risk.  That's gotta be a weird introduction: "Hi!  Thanks for helping me out with this move.  I only have a few items, so it should go quick.  By the way, I injured myself earlier this week, so I'll simply be supervising.  Great to be here!"

Brains...

My brain is fried from looking at so many apartments this week.  I think I'm getting close, but it's very stressful and I'll be very happy when it's over.

(Sorry for two cop-out posts in a row, but as already stated, my skull boss is a crumpled, worthless heap.  Hopefully, next week will be better.)

Same Experience, Different Lessons

Since my job requires a substantial drive everyday, I've decided to move closer to it.  However, since all of my friends are in my Ward, I decided to still stay within its boundaries, just farther east.  With my notice given, I'm on the hunt for a new apartment.

Alone.  Samuel won't be coming with me, but that's mostly a good thing because his family should be approved to come to the US any day now.  Even so, knowing that our time together is limited has made me a bit too eager to for us to part ways.  More and more frequently I find myself saying silently to myself, "I won't miss you when you're gone."  Admittedly, that's unfair, but I'm mostly being sarcastic and just trying to vent (to myself?) about my frustrations.

That was my state when Samuel came home yesterday evening.  I had treated myself to some take-out from a local Korean place and was finishing up the large meal when he walked in visibly downtrodden.  I asked what had happened and he told me that he was at his final attempt to take the behind-the-wheel test to get his driver's license, but the tester refused to ride with him because he was "panicked."  I protested that of course he was anxious because he had failed the test twice before and if he failed again, he would have to start all over with taking the written exam and taking driver's classes.  He agreed, but, of course, it was in vain.  I encouraged him to cheer up and told him that things will get better.

Then he asked for a blessing.  I was surprised, but of course accommodated his request.  I cleaned up my meal and had him sit in the chair I had been using.  When I open placed my hands on him and opened my mouth, the spirit of revelation came stronger than I can ever remember experiencing it before.  I won't share the details of the blessing, but I will say that there were words of love and encouragement and also instruction for Samuel.  When it was all over, he was crying, but I knew that they were not tears of sorrow.

When it was all over, I realized how much of a jerk I've been.  No, I haven't said anything rude to his face, but I've thought the rude words repeatedly.  And despite my eagerness to be on my own again, Samuel came to me as a friend in need of uplifting.

The instruction may have been for Samuel, but he wasn't the only one to learn something from the experience.

State of Frustration

On Monday evening, I was sitting at home when a knock came at the front door.  I wasn't expecting anyone, so I was surprised to have a visitor.  As I headed for the door, Samuel, who had been on the phone in his room, told me that the missionaries had come by for a visit.  I immediately became furious at him.

I should probably explain that I was in my pajamas and was in no way dressed to have anyone over.  Additionally, I had made it very to clear to Samuel that while he was certainly allowed to have visitors over, he simply needed to give me fair warning so I knew what to expect.  Too mad and underdressed to deal with the situation, I went to my room for the duration of the visit.

After the missionaries left, I came out of my room, still angry.  Samuel apologized, but I was in no mood for something so simple.  To me, it seemed that Samuel was once again being a terrible roommate: it's his responsibility to request his share of the rent from the Bishop, but I always end up doing it; I've pointed out the need for a clean kitchen, but I almost always have something to clean up before I can start cooking; and he doesn't always remember to flush.  All of these things were annoyances, but now that I'm looking for work again, my stress levels are much higher and his failings as a roommate are much harder to ignore.

As it turned out, the Elders came by because one of them is being transferred and wanted to say good-bye.  Samuel had only found out that they were headed over a few minutes before, but, once again, he failed to live up to his end of things.  He was on the phone with someone else and, rather than end the call so that he could give me a heads-up, he continued to talk.  When the knock came, he was surprised that they wanted to come in since he was planning to meet them in the parking lot - and why would I need to know if no one was coming inside?

The problem with his line of thinking is that he made a lot of assumptions: he assumed that the Elders would call rather than knock on our door (one of our neighbors must have been coming in and held open the building door for them), he assumed that one of the Elders wouldn't ask to use the restroom, and he assumed that his phone call would wrap up before the Elders arrived.  We all make assumptions, but Samuel is still learning his way around American culture, so he's applying Nigerian assumptions to American behavior and that's a recipe for disaster, like the one we had Monday evening.

Once the Elders left, I tried talking to Samuel about what happened.  I accepted the fact that he didn't intend for things to go the way that they did, but I was still angry.  While intentions do matter, they don't outweigh actual consequences to our actions.  I told him that all I really wanted was communication and even if he only knew the missionaries were coming by five minutes before they arrived, that's still five more minutes of prep time than I got.  I could have gone on for several more minutes, but even though my anger was justified, the level of anger I felt was not.  I was in an agitated state because of other factors and Samuel didn't deserve all of that.  I cut myself from chewing him our and went back to my room where I was too riled up to be able fall asleep for several more hours.

The next day, I apologized for how I reacted, but reiterated that he needs to warn me when guest are coming by.  He apologized again and said he would try to do better.

If I'm being perfectly honest, I'm really looking forward to the time when Samuel's family is able to make it to the US and they can be reunited.  And while I want him to be with his family again, I'm at least equally anticipating the fact that he'll be out of my apartment.  Sometimes friendship do better with a little more distance between the parties and I think that will be true for the two of us.

Clear Home, Clear Mind

It's no secret that I got pretty depressed when I went through my last bout of unemployment last winter.  What I haven't mentioned is that in some ways, I never fully recovered.  I stopped putting my laundry away when I it came out of the dryer, leaving my clothes laid out in stacks.  I figured when I started working again that I would clean up everything, but that never happened.

With this current round of looking for work, my "stacks" turned more into "piles" or "heaps"; I'd take my clothes out and just dump them on the floor.  And, unsurprisingly, my mood got worse and worse.

Yesterday, I decided to fix that.  I did a lot of laundry and neatly folded and put away everything as soon as it came out of the dryer.  I even gathered up some already clean clothes and put them away with their newly washed kin.  And while I still have some clothes that need to make their way to the dresser, nearly everything that was once on the floor is now its home.

I wish I could say that my unemployment is over and I'm starting work soon.  But even without my job status changing, I feel much, much better just cleaning up my room, as if my cluttered bedroom was making my mind feel cluttered, too.

I guess my folks were right about needing a clean room after all ...