Heck of a Week

I've had a rough week.  The sleep study threw me off, first by making it so I had to skip the gym and second by making me endure the anxiety of having a stranger touch my face and head as they attached electrodes.  Despite my best efforts, I was unable to make it to the gym the rest of the week.  I've mentioned before that exercise helps me keep my anxiety and depression in check and without it, I was drowning.  It got so bad that when I got to work yesterday, I felt like I was going to break down and cry at my desk.

I decided that I needed to do something, so I text messaged my home teacher and asked him for a blessing that evening.  I've been honest with him about my recent struggles, so he wasn't surprised and he agreed to meet me soon after I got home from work.  Throughout the rest of the day, I got a bit better and I was able to be productive (and I never cried).

When I got home, I was nervous about having a visitor since my apartment is not in great shape.  I keep my kitchen clean, but I haven't cleaned the rest of it in a while.  It's not filthy or anything, but there's clutter that needs to be taken care of.  Picking things up would probably only take about twenty minutes, but since I've had trouble leaving the house some days, having a clean apartment hasn't been a priority.  Still, I at least cleared off one of my couches in case he wanted to sit down.

I didn't have to wait long before there was a knock at my door.  I let in my home teacher, Rob, and a member of the Elder's Quorum presidency, Mike.  I thanked them for coming and explained that I suspected that my worsening symptoms might be caused by the nocebo effect (basically, since I found out about the side effects of levetiracetam, my symptoms caused by the medication have worsened).  They administered to me and I was told to turn to my family for strength and comfort and to remember that the ward is here to help me.  I instantly felt better.

After I got up and shook their hands, we chatted for about ten minutes.  They both have struggled with depression and offered some advice on how they cope (I also learned that Mike went to the MTC with an Elder who served in my mission, had a seizure while behind the wheel, and was sentenced to a year in jail.  I didn't remember the Elder's name, but the specifics were close enough that asked where the Elder served and, sure enough, it was Cleveland, Ohio.  Small world.).  As we chatted, we ended up making plans for a game night on Tuesday.  Who knew that depression could bring people together?

After Rob and Mike left, I decided to go for a run.  The weather was beautiful for this time of year, and I needed to do some exercising.  Since the sun was going down, I made sure to wear my reflective visibility vest so drivers would see me.  I was nearly done with my run when I got distracted, didn't watch where I was stepping, and tripped and fell.  It was weird because it seemed like nearly recovered three separate times before I finally met the pavement.  I skinned my right elbow, got some scrapes on my right leg, and I think I the bruised the palm of my right hand and part of my left foot (I won't know for sure for a couple of days).  All in all, it could have been much worse.  I was even able to run the rest of the way home.

There is one truly annoying thing that happened, though: I fell on my phone.  Since I don't have a fancy smart phone, it'll be easy and inexpensive to replace.  The good news is that my phone still works; the bad news is that with the screen busted, I can't send or receive texts (I mean, I can, but I won't be able to read them).  Even with the injuries and busted phone, I'm happy that I went running.

This week has not been an easy one, but I have reasons to believe that the future will be brighter.