I have a confession to make: I don't know why I had a seizure. I don't mean from a medical standpoint, I mean from a philosophical one. Let me explain.
I have had a lot of unexpected things happen to me this year. I moved to Maryland, got and lost a good job, started another job, went to the ER four times, and so on. I've had a lot of ups and downs. But things were really starting to look up in a strong way. I had just started a great job, I had a good exercise routine in place, and I was active in my ward as both a Sunday School teacher and a home teacher. I really felt like my life was on a track that would lead to success and happiness.
Then I spent forty minutes writhing around while blacked out at work. Since then, I've barely exercised, I've not fulfilled my callings very well, and I've worked about half of the hours that I should. And when I go over all of what's happened in my mind, one question comes pops up: why? Why did I have a seizure right when everything was looking better? Why, when all I had to do was not mess anything up, was control taken from me by having my brain shut down? I believe there is a lesson for me to learn here, but I don't know what it is.
In some ways, this whole thing reminds me of a plaque that was hanging from the wall in the room of my high school friend, Ben. "Think life's hard now? [Screw] up."
With Thanksgiving this week, I have even more time off, so hopefully I'll figure this whole thing out and understand why I had a seizure and what I'm supposed to learn from it.
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