A Lone Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving was spent with a family from the Ward, the Simciks.  I have been over to their house several times to help the head of the household, Mark, winterize their pool, so I know the family well.  That made joining them for dinner an easy decision.

They also put me to work.  Since their oven isn't working, they roasted their turkey in a charcoal grill outside.  I helped prep the briquettes and helped to add more every 45 minutes to keep the heat up (the bird turned out very well, but I think that has a lot to do with it being brined ahead of time).  Also, the Simciks follow a mathematical formula when preparing for Thanksgiving dinner: n+1=π.  In this case, n equals the number of guests expected for dinner and π equals the number of pies baked.  Yes, they had one more pie than people at the table (while I enjoyed the pumpkin, apple and mince pies, my favorite was the chocolate pecan).

Also, this was the first time that I ever made Jordan's Jell-O Salad (you'd think since it bares by name that I would have attempted it at least once).  I was really pleased to have on my plate and everyone else said that they also enjoyed it.

All in all, even though I didn't spend the day with my family, it was an enjoyable Thanksgiving.

Learning from Tragedy

I have a confession to make: I don't know why I had a seizure.  I don't mean from a medical standpoint, I mean from a philosophical one.  Let me explain.

I have had a lot of unexpected things happen to me this year.  I moved to Maryland, got and lost a good job, started another job, went to the ER four times, and so on.  I've had a lot of ups and downs.  But things were really starting to look up in a strong way.  I had just started a great job, I had a good exercise routine in place, and I was active in my ward as both a Sunday School teacher and a home teacher.  I really felt like my life was on a track that would lead to success and happiness.

Then I spent forty minutes writhing around while blacked out at work.  Since then, I've barely exercised, I've not fulfilled my callings very well, and I've worked about half of the hours that I should.  And when I go over all of what's happened in my mind, one question comes pops up: why?  Why did I have a seizure right when everything was looking better?  Why, when all I had to do was not mess anything up, was control taken from me by having my brain shut down?  I believe there is a lesson for me to learn here, but I don't know what it is.

In some ways, this whole thing reminds me of a plaque that was hanging from the wall in the room of my high school friend, Ben. "Think life's hard now? [Screw] up."

With Thanksgiving this week, I have even more time off, so hopefully I'll figure this whole thing out and understand why I had a seizure and what I'm supposed to learn from it.

Help from Every Direction

On Friday, I made it back to work.  What was different this time was that I didn't drive.  Luckily, I was able to get a ride from a member from the Ward that works nearby.  Sort of. The building I work in is right on the edge of a small harbor that is a part of the larger Chesapeake Bay.  The building that Patrick, my carpool mate, works in is also right on that same harbor, but on the other side; it's amazing how you can be so close yet so far away sometimes.  However, the City of Baltimore provides a free "water taxi" service with one route that picks me up really close to Patrick's work and drops me off really close to my work.  I have to leave a lot earlier to accommodate Patrick's commute and I have to plan around the water taxi, but considering that I'm not allowed to drive, things could be much more inconvenient.

In addition to work, I had to arrange a ride to Church yesterday.  Luckily, the Church's website has an option where you can see the location of every member's home within the ward boundaries.  So on Saturday night, I looked to see who lived in such a place so that I would be on their way to Church.  With minimal effort, I was able to get a ride to Church.

With all of this in mind, I met with the Bishop on Saturday for tithing settlement.  While I was there he asked if the Ward could do anything else for me, since I'm still recovering from my seizure.  I actually laughed when he asked because I don't think anyone could do any more.  There has been so much help offered to me since my seizure that I am at a loss for what else could be done.

Considering how stressful things are, it's really amazing that I have so many wonderful people in my family and in my ward that are extending help my way.

Barrage of Tests

I'm returning to work today.  I spent that last two days away so that I could more easily have some health tests taken, but I've taken as many as I can manage for now.  I'm really looking forward to going back to work and try to get some normalcy back in my life.  Since I can't drive, I was able to arrange a carpool with a member from Church.

On Wednesday I had some blood drawn for some blood tests.  Since I'm not supposed to be driving I walked to testing center; it's just down the road and only took about twenty minutes.

Yesterday, I had an EEG done.  It's an easy test for the most part (click on the link for a description from the last time I had an EEG).  Ian was kind enough to drive me to this office, since it was much farther away.

I was supposed to have a third test done, an MRI, but that had be rescheduled for next week because I had a problem with my insurance; it's all worked out, but there's a delay before I can use it again.  After that's done, I'll meet with the neurologist again and we'll talk about what he thinks caused my seizure and how likely it is to happen again.

For now, I'm just happy to go back to work.

An Amazing Outpouring of Kindness

I found out yesterday that I have a truly amazing family.  Let me explain.

I had my first appointment with the neurologist yesterday.  He basically confirmed that I had a seizure and has ordered a lot of tests (bloodwork, EEG, MRI, sleep-study, etc.).  On top of that, he told me that I've been breaking the law by driving my car since my seizure.  Apparently in Maryland, whenever someone has a seizure, they have to refrain from driving for at least three months (the time can be shortened if the doctor starts me on a prescription).

I brought up the upcoming tests and that my lack of driving may affect my commute to my supervisor at work and suggested that telecommuting might alleviate some problems.  In response to this, I was given the rest of the week off.  Since I'm a contract employee, I'm pretty sure that means I won't be paid.  The marketing management team is really at a loss for what to do with me right now (it really freaked a lot of people out when I had my seizure), so I don't know what that means for my security with company.

Add to all of this the fact that my body still hasn't recovered enough for me to start exercising again, meaning my anxiety is slowing getting more sway over me.

So, imagine my surprise when I drove up to my apartment and saw that Ian and Amanda are waiting outside with a brand new mattress set!  I was so touched, I actually cried a little bit.  Ian let me know that this was a gift from them, as well as pretty much everyone else in the family (and it was Amanda's idea)!  So, thank you so very much!  I really needed some good news in my life.  With the stress of not knowing what's happening with work or my brain, this was a well-timed, well-thought out gift.

I really enjoyed sleeping on it last night and I look forward to sleeping on it in the future, but the best part is knowing that my family is so wonderful.

Slowly Improving

I ended up working a half-day on Friday.  Well, I was in the office for about four hours, but I spent nearly half of that asking question and finding out more of the story.  From what I've pieced together, my cubicle neighbor, Mary Beth, heard me make a long, drawn-out yawning noise.  She looked over at me and I was slumped over my desk.  She tried to get my attention, but I was unresponsive.  She got the other people in the department involved and it was discovered that I had turned pale, my eyes were rolled back, I was foaming at the mouth, and I was shaking a little.

When it was clear that something was wrong, the ambulance was called.  It took about twenty minutes for the emergency workers to arrive.  During the interim, I made several attempts to stand up, but my coworkers kept pushing me to sit back down, eventually getting me to lay on the ground.  I also halfheartedly threw a punch and the department head at one point.  When the paramedics arrived, they thought that my state was due to low blood-sugar, so their focus was on making me consume sugary food (they took my blood-sugar and it was 80 and according to Margot and my hypoglycemic supervisor, Holly, that's low, but not seizure-inducing low).  In addition to the candy, I drank an entire can of Coke.  Around this time, even though I was still unresponsive, I tied my shoe.

I slowly started waking up, like coming out of a drug-induced sleep, like for surgery.  I remember the paramedics and my coworkers were gathered around me.  Other than the strange fog my head was going through, my shoulders felt really sore.  When I started making eye-contact, one of the paramedics asked me my name and if I knew where I was.  When I answered, I was given more food to eat (a string cheese and a granola bar) and the emergency workers packed up and left.  From the time that Mary Beth first noticed me slumped over to the time that the paramedic left was about forty to forty-five minutes.

It was decided that I should go home, so I was given a ride while an HR rep drove behind in my car.
For the next two day, I could barely move.  Even now my shoulders are still really sore.  I saw my doctor on Friday, the soonest I could get in.  My doc was surprised that the paramedics didn't take me to the ER, but it sounds like they were fixated on the blood-sugar thing, so they probably didn't think it was a seizure.  According to the doc, it sounds like epilepsy, but he wants me to see a neurologist to be sure.  The appointment's made, but it's a couple of weeks out.  Hopefully there will be a cancellation and I'll get bumped up.

Well-being Update

I haven't been back to work, but that mostly has to do with the fact that I need a doctor's note in order to return and my doctor doesn't spend all of his time at one office, so I've had to wait until he gets back in tomorrow.  I probably would have skipped Wednesday, but returned today if it weren't for needing the note.

I suppose the question on everyone's mind is am I okay?  Yes, I'm okay, but I feel like I went ten rounds with Tyson.  Apparently when I had my seizure, I tensed up my shoulders and thighs beyond what would be considered tight.  This morning, I could barely move; I still can't lift my arms above my head without screaming.

Even so, it's healing.  In all honesty, I'm lucky that I didn't bite down on my tongue while the whole thing went down and possibly bite through it.  Yeah, it's hard to think of myself as lucky when I can barely move without pain, but really I got out of this easy.

On a super-positive side, it appears that I am in no danger of losing my job.  Apparently everybody is just concerned that I feel better.  And due to my position as a contract employee, my work right now is a bonus for them, not expected.  That means the project I was helping on will continue on without me, just a little slower.  While I would, of course, like to be irreplaceable, it's also important that my absence not cause too many problems.

Things are going okay for my first (and hopefully, last) seizure.

Severe Seizure

Yesterday at work I had a severe seizure.

I was working on creating several bios for an upcoming job application for Prometric, when I suddenly had a seizure.  I remember feeling it coming and feeling week, then suddenly I can barely talk and the entire department is gathered around me.  Apparently, I passed out for about 40 minutes.  During that time, I tried to stand several times and kept being sat down by my co-workers.  An ambulance was called and they nearly took me to the emergency room, but I came to and started responding.  It still took me 10 or 15 minutes to be able to talk, but it was clear that I was recovering.  I was fed a string cheese and a granola bar to help raise my blood sugar, which helped somewhat.

When I finally was alert enough to be able to communicate, I realized that I was no longer sitting in my chair.  Ian was called, since he is my emergency contact, as well as Margot and Dad.  Eventually I recovered enough to be able to talk freely and I was sent home.  In order to keep me safe, I was given a ride while one of my coworkers followed with my car.

I'm probably going to stay home tomorrow in order to recover.  Luckily, my supervisors are really understanding.  One of my bosses is hypoglycemic and suggested that my blood-sugar may have dropped and caused my seizure.  Regardless, it's time that I see a specialist to try to get to the bottom of this.

(By the way, I'm feeling fine now.  I'm really tired and my shoulders are super sore, but otherwise I seem to have recovered.)

Unexpected Connection

On Saturday evening, my ward hosted a dinner as a way for people to get to know each other better.  I was mistaken about when the event started and got there about 25 minutes late.  As I was walking amongst the tables, looking for a free chair, I was called over and invited to sit down.  The family that invited me over, the Engels, I had met before when they invited me over to their house for dinner about a month ago, so it was nice to not only see a familiar face but to be asked to join them.  We chatted for a while about work and movies (Dave is a total cinephile) and running (Allison runs marathons), but then an activity started.

There were a few cards taped under the chairs and we were instructed to ask them to each other.  One question instructed us to find out who had the most surprising hobby or skill.  I volunteered that it was probably me since I crochet and the rest of the table agreed.  Later on, the bishop got up and ask for us to share some of our answers.  Sister Engle pointed out that I had a surprising skill and I announced to the room that I crochet (if I was going to be embarrassed by it I wouldn't have brought it up).

When the evening was over and I was helping to put away the tables and chairs, a brother approached me to ask more about my crocheting.  I can't remember his name, but I had chatted with him before during Elder's quorum, so I kind of knew him.  Anyway, I told him that I learned how to crochet while I was on my mission from one of my companions and that I do some stuff here or there, but pretty much stick to rectangular shapes like scarves and afghans.  He asked me if I ever tried to make a hat and I said that I had, but I got confused or something because I didn't work out.  He then proceeded to tell about how he had crocheted a few dozen beanies.

I'm pretty sure that he told me he crocheted too at the beginning of our conversation, but I must have missed it (it was pretty noisy).  He also learned from one of his companions, which is a thing I guess.  He offered his help if I ever want to try making a hat again and we chatted about different stitches we'd tried and what we thought of them.  It was really cool to meet another guy that shares my unusual skill.

75 Years of Superman

When I was in high school, I started reading and collecting comic books.  While there were lots of different characters and teams that I liked, my favorite was always Superman.  Superman is the reason that superheroes exist, being the first one.  He first appeared in 1938, which means the character has existed for 75 years.

Even though I haven't collected comics for several years, I still like the character.  Yeah, he's ridiculously powerful, but that's not what makes him special.  The reason I liked Superman best is because he fights bad guys and saves bystanders simply because he's a good guy.  While so many comic book characters have tragic back-stories (Batman, Wolverine, Spider-Man, the Flash, the list goes on and on), Superman is the one hero that doesn't look weird with a smile on his face.  He sees the world for what it could be and tries to inspire others to live up to that ideal.

Here's to you, Superman!