Wedding Party

After being sealed together at the Washington, DC Temple, Leah and I headed back up to Harford County for the wedding reception. When we arrived, preparations were still being made, though the majority had been done on the days leading up. What was left was mostly related to food. We had a relatively simple meal of baked ham, baked potatoes, and green beans, helpfully prepared by people of Debbie's ward.

Leah's younger brother Ryan and his wife Dana preparing food in the kitchen

Look at that spread!

We also had lots and lots of sugar. We had a hot chocolate bar (which used a cocoa mix that I made myself) with oodles of toppings and a chocolate fountain with lots dipping choices. We got lots of compliments on both features, though the biggest compliments were from our young nieces and nephews who, towards the end, were running around with chocolate smeared on their faces, resembling hyperactive Dickensian orphans.

Sherlin provided all of the calligraphy work 

A dream come true

Since we knew we’d be hungry, we scheduled dinner first, which was served buffet style (we already recruited cooks, I can't imagine recruiting servers). After some time to eat and visit, speeches were given by the Matron of Honor, Rachel, and the Best Man, Isaac. Rachel, one of two of Leah's best friends, gave a sweet speech about how she sees how happy I make Leah. Isaac’s speech was about how salt is a seasoning that brings out the best flavors in a dish and how Leah is the salt in my life. Both Leah and I were touched by their heartfelt words.

Raise your mugs in a toast!

Rachel mentioned that I made her a pie for her birthday, which helped win her over

I admit to being a little confused at the beginning of Isaac's speech at first, but he really brought it all together at the end

Next, came our first dance. We had a little trouble picking a song, largely because Leah and I have different musical preferences, but we settled on "All of Me" by John Legend—I liked it because it has a traditional jazz feel and she liked it because the lyrics are sweetly romantic. As we danced, we talked and made each other smile and even laugh, which is kind of perfect for us.

Looks like we caught Leah mid-giggle

After our first dance, the floor was opened for everyone to dance. (I may post our song list later, but one song that’s proven to be Leah’s "get-up-and-go" song, was featured early on.) We didn’t get a chance to do any more dancing because we were pulled away for more pictures.

 We are full of sugar, so we must dance!

Sugar highs lead to sugar crashes

Leah's oldest brother, Rob, had to leave the temple early and wasn't there when we exited, thus he missed the family pictures. Since he was at the reception, we decided to try again and gathered in the Relief Society room. Being in a heated building made pictures much easier than the chilly winds outside the temple, so everyone loosened up and had fun.

The newest member of the Grabowski family 

It's nice to have the support of my wife's family

After pictures and a little crowd work, we cut our wedding cake that Sherlin had very kindly prepared for us. Leah had warned me ahead of time not to smash the cake in my face, which I wasn't planning on anyway: smashing the cake in the bride or groom's face is only funny if it's unexpected, but people have been doing it for a long time, so it's no longer unexpected and thus not funny. The tiers that were sliced up were lemon-raspberry and funfetti with sprinkles of our colors of purple and silver, but the way they melted made the cake look like it was blueberry-flavored. Regardless, it was quite tasty.

The youngest guest, Emma, with the eldest guest, Grandma Bonnie

We even found a way to include Pinto!

Cut…

… and serve

Two flavor options

The time flew by and before we realized, it was time to leave. Instead of throwing rice or blowing bubbles, we had our guests hold up sparklers. (Our photographer told us later that she's seen sparkler send offs before, but ours was the best looking she’d ever seen.)

Sparks were really flying that night

Once we got to my car, we discovered that it had been "decorated." At some point during the reception, Margot came and got my keys from me, not saying why she needed them, so I assumed that the car was being prepared for our departure, though I wasn't prepared for what was actually done. The car had been plastic-wrapped to a nearby light pole, though that was easy enough to remove. What was particularly annoying was that the car was filled from floor to ceiling with balloons. I pulled out enough balloons from the passenger side so that Leah could get in, but when I started doing the same on the driver's side, someone took pity on me and passed me an unlit sparkler, of which I was able to use the handle to pop the remaining balloons. With the balloons gone, I got into the car and drove home with my new bride.

 That's not too bad

Leah thought it was funnier than I did

A man unamused

I'm really happy with how the wedding reception turned out. A lot of work was done by not a lot of people in a short period of time and I'm so happy with the result. The reception was a way for us to celebrate our new marriage with our friends and family, which I think we accomplished in spades.

Mere symbols of our covenants, but ones that match

Ripley's Believe It Or Not

On Saturday, Leah took me out on a date. She's great at finding deals and got a great discount on a pair of tickets to the Baltimore Ripley's Believe It Or Not! museum.

Back when Leah and I first started dating, we went to Atlantic City. While we were walking around the boardwalk, I saw a Ripley's museum there and mentioned how much I loved reading the newspaper features as a kid and that I had a couple of books that collected many of said features. She listened and when she came across a sale on tickets, she asked if I wanted to go. It was sweet of her to remember something so trivial, so of course I said "yes."

The museum was filled with artifacts and reproductions of amazing things. Some were based on people, like the tallest man in recorded history, while others were works of art using unusual media, like giant portraits of Bill and Hillary Clinton made out of hamburger grease. One thing I liked was how there were several displays that focused on Baltimore, like Chessie, Charm City's version of Nessie.

Me standing next to a life-sized animatronic of Robert Wadlow, the tallest man the world has ever known

A(n admittedly creepy) mannequin or Robert Ripley

Ants painted like basketball players (for some reason)

There were also interactive exhibits, like funhouse mirrors, a mirror maze, what was called a "kaleidoscope room," and other attractions, some of which that didn't involve mirrors.

Inside the mirror maze -- finding our way out was much harder than I expected

The kaleidoscope room was pretty disorienting and I didn't stay in it long

We also got to see a "4-D" movie, which was a couple of short cartoons -- one staring the Angry Birds, the other staring the Roadrunner and Wile E. Coyote (we enjoyed the second one more, probably because we were familiar with the characters) -- that were in 3-D and required glasses and had chairs that shook. It was... okay, but I'm glad that we got to try it out.

We didn't take any pictures of the movie, so here's one of us having fun in the gift shop

After the fun of the museum, we went to a Japanese restaurant that was right on the Chesapeake Bay. Once again, Leah had a coupon. To save on parking, we walked from Ripley's to the restaurant, which was about a mile and a half away. In the rain. We both had umbrellas, so the walk just meant that we were really hungry when we sat down. Luckily, the food was pretty good.

This was Leah's first time trying unagi (eel)

Overall, it was a really fun day and further solidified the fact that Leah's a keeper.

Poll Dancer

Today, I exercised my civic responsibility and voted.  It was not only my first time voting in Maryland, it was my first time voting outside of California.

The polling place I was assigned to was a local Shriner's temple.  After a bit of confusion on which room I was assigned (I was in the clubhouse, not the dining hall), I had my ballot.  In addition to voting for Evan McMullin as a write-in presidential candidate, I voted on local matters, nearly all of which entailed Baltimore County borrowing money for civic works projects.

As I was leaving, I saw a mother with her daughter outside selling Girl Scout cookies.  I was impressed with the cleverness of their location choice ("Feeling awful about the election?  Drown your sorrows in sugar!"), so I bought a couple of boxes to share with the office.

To my surprise, I was feeling anxious as I drove to the polling place.  I didn't know why I was feeling that way, but as I drove away feeling relieved, it was clear what the cause was.  This election cycle has been terrible in so many ways and I'm just glad it's over.

Hopefully our country is strong enough to withstand whichever deplorable person makes it to the White House.  Fingers crossed!

A Real Marylander

Today, I have had a truly authentic Maryland experience: I went crab picking.

A few weeks ago, one of my coworkers, Chelsea, talked about how much she enjoyed crab picking when my boss, Magda, and I admitted that we had never partaken in one of Maryland's favorite activities.  With our secret revealed, it was decided that we needed to go picking as a department.  Chelsea found a place that offers crabs for $1.50 each on Tuesdays, so we made our plan to go.

The thing about picking crabs is that it takes a lot of work and there's a lot of waste.  Most of the crab is inedible and the parts you can eat are hidden away under layers and layers of shell and organs.  It's a good thing I had help because to my novice eyes, the gills (which can make you sick if you eat them) looked exactly the same as the meat.  After a few crabs, however, I got the hang of it.  I didn't count how many crabs I ate, but I think it was around six or seven.  The five of us (the marketing department plus Alejandro from accounting) went through two and half dozen crabs and I could have kept eating if left to my own devices.

At the end of the meal and to everyone's surprise, Magda said that our outing counted as a team building experience and paid for the meal with her company card.  I had already had a great time, so getting to enjoy the meal for free made it even better.

If you ever visit Maryland, I definitely recommend going crab picking, but be sure to take someone who can show you the ropes.

Temporary Eczema

I saw a dermatologist today.  Apparently, dermatologist are in high demand here, so I had to drive to Annapolis for the appointment.  Thankfully, she was able to render a diagnosis: eczema.  She said that she didn't know what caused it but that that was fairly unimportant since the treatment would be the same regardless of the source of the condition.  So now I have to apply a topical steroid cream for the next two weeks; after that, I should be fine.  And even though we don't know what caused the eczema to appear, the likelihood of it becoming chronic is extremely low.

Honestly, the toughest part about the diagnosis was the long drive there and back.  But the drive was well worth knowing what's wrong and that it's on its way out.

Mild Success

I attended a YSA temple night tonight.  It was the most packed I've seen the Endowment room in quite a while.  And while the session was uplifting and quite nice, my main motivation for going was the fact that after the session was over, we all met in the cafeteria in the basement for snacks and hanging out.

The promised snacks (cookies) were replaced with something else entirely (a vegetable tray), but there were singles from a much greater area than just my ward, which I liked.  In fact, I met one woman from the Columbia Stake, which is the stake I was in while I lived in Ellicott City.  We were talking with the group, but I noticed her noticing me (because I was noticing her) and as we were leaving, I asked for her phone number.

And she gave it to me.

So far, we've only texted each other enough to confirm that we have the right numbers, so don't read too much into it, but it feels good to get my feet a wet in the dating world.

Free at Last!

The divorce is final!  Last night I checked the website that updates the status of civil cases in Maryland, and to my surprise the judge had already seen and ruled on my case.  On Monday, in fact.

Digital proof that it's finally over.

If that wasn't enough, I got the official document in the mail when I got home from work.  Not only am I divorced, I have the documentation to prove it!

I was so excited that I barely slept.  When I went into the office this morning, I was a ball of energy, which is quite out of the ordinary when I first arrive.  The people that I shared my news with know me well enough to recognize that I was happy to done with the legal process and be out of a dead marriage; unfortunately, some other people overheard and made jokes like "I bet you won't make that mistake again!" or "Quit making those of us still trapped jealous" and so on.  That was frustrating, but it couldn't bring me down.

Thank you to everyone that prayed for me during this difficult time.  Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go and meet some nice Mormon girls and go on as many dates as possible.

Thank You, Your Honor

My divorce hearing was today.

It was pretty straight forward.  My case was called and Ian and I went in.  I identified myself as the plaintiff and Ian as my witness.  We were both sworn in by the magistrate and asked to sit down.  The magistrate asked me several questions to verify the information I had already submitted -- some questions I answered with names and dates, others I just said yes or no.  Ian was asked a few questions to corroborate my story, which he did.  After reviewing all of the information (including the fact that neither party was seeking damages and that the defendant was served but never responded), the magistrate said she would recommend to the presiding judge to rule in favor of granting the divorce.  I filled out another form and was on my way.  Including waiting to be called in and filling out the final form, the whole process took about an hour.

I would like to reiterate that the magistrate did not make a final ruling; that still needs to be done by a judge.  The magistrate did say she would recommend ruling in my favor, so at least I can be happy about that.  The way it look, the only things left to do are to have the judge make the final decision and a file clerk process the case.  But based on my experience thus far, I'll wait until I have the final papers in my hands before I celebrate.

I Should Have Known!

I went to my divorce hearing today.  I had all of my paperwork, I was clean shaven, and I wore my new suit.  In other words, I was prepared.  I appeared before the magistrate and she listed all of the forms I had brought with me as evidence that I had done everything in the right order (so I hadn't needed to have brought my copies after all).

Then she asked if I had a witness to testify on my behalf.  I told her that I didn't, to which she replied that the case could not proceed without a witness.  Thankfully, she did not dismiss the case but instead had it rescheduled.  I will now be appearing next Monday (May 23) and Ian has already agreed to testify on my behalf.  According to the magistrate, all Ian needs to confirm is that I was married and was properly separated before filling for divorce.

It was silly of me to think that after so many hiccups along the way that the hearing go smoothly.  I wouldn't wish divorce on my worst enemy, but if I ever have to go through this again, you better believe I'll be using a lawyer.

The End is Near

The State of Maryland has a website where you can look up the current status of open legal cases.  Unfortunately, the site only says what forms have been submitted by involved parties or what notices have been issued by the court.  To put it another way, I highly suspect that the final hearing in my divorce has been set, but I don't know the date of it yet.  I should get the official notice in the mail in the next few days.  Until then, I eagerly await it, hoping that it will be sooner rather than later.

Blizzard Aftermath

When I went out to my car yesterday morning, it was mostly cleared of snow.  The work that I had done on Sunday was mostly focused on the sides near the doors and the rear that would block me from backing out of my space.  When the plows finally came Monday evening, they took care of the rest.

At least, that's how it appeared.  However, once I was back in front of my car, I saw that the hood of my car had a pile of snow on it that was over three feet tall (that was connected to an even large pile on the adjacent hill) and the wind had blown lots of snow under my car.  I turned on the engine to heat things up in the hopes that would make it easier to get going.  The weather has been pretty warm since the blizzard, so my windows weren't frosted over, which helped.  After a few minutes, I decided to try backing out.  The snow under my car had made a sort of tall hump that prevented me from getting much traction: I would back up and my tires would spin.  I ended up rocking the car back and forth (backing up, braking, following forward, then backing up with the natural momentum of the car) and finally got free.  I still had to clear off a bunch of snow from the hood, but the worst was over.

The roads were all pretty bad.  I live in a suburb of Baltimore and most streets have multiple lanes, but in nearly every case, only one lane was cleared.  At first I was mad that city crews hadn't worked harder, but then I realized that we got 32 inches of snow in a day and a half.  To put that in perspective, Baltimore County received 42 inches of snow in all of 2015.  The resources to deal with this much snow just didn't exist.  The fact that I made it to work at all was kind of amazing.

Dealing with the snow has been a hassle, sure, but I haven't been in danger, so I really have nothing to complain about.

White Out

The forecast for Maryland for the next couple of days is between one and three feet snow.  That's right, feet.  As in, 12-36 inches of snow in about 36 hours.

Yikes.

Thankfully, I'm all stocked up with food, I have a week's worth of water in case my pipes freeze, and my heat is gas powered, so even if I lose power, I should still be warm.  I'll be very surprised if things get that bad, but I'm prepared for the worst.

So much for a mild winter ...

Christmas 2015

Christmas was a bit weird this year.  My past Christmases in Maryland have been spent with Ian and his family, but because of the way holidays are scheduled with him and his estranged wife, he didn't have his kids.  Since it was just the two of us, we kept things extremely low-key: I made dinner and we watched a couple of movies.

Thankfully, we also made a trip to visit the kids at their mom's house.  Oddly, Amanda's parents were extremely pleasant and I think they were genuine in their friendliness.  I don't have the highest opinion of Amanda these days, but her parents are fine.  I'm also happy that they were so nice because it made things less awkward for me -- Ian visiting his kids makes perfect sense; him bringing his little brother with him might have been seen as pushing it.  Thankfully, they welcomed us both with warm smiles.  We visited with them for about an hour before we headed home for dinner.  It was cute to see Henry continue to ask us to wait because he wanted to show us more toys that he had gotten.

On Boxing Day, Ian and I went and saw Star Wars: The Force Awakens (come back tomorrow for my review) and had the kids visit to open presents from me and their dad.  It was really nice to see for Ian because, despite all of the toys they opened the day before, the kids' favorite gift came from their dad.

Christmas this year was mostly a stag party, but it was still fun and I'm glad that it worked out how it did.

See You in Court

I have a hearing to attend this morning.  It's about the divorce, but it won't be wrapping things up.  You see, when I had Allison served back in August, I didn't include one document because I had previously emailed it to her.  She had all the paperwork that I needed to deliver, but the court had no record of her receiving it, so I have to serve her a second time.  Allison already knows and I'm working with her to coordinate the delivery.

So why the hearing?  The reason I have to appear in court is because I first filed for divorce back in February and it doesn't usually take this long to finalize everything.  The court order I was issued simply says "Status Update" in the subject line.  I should be in and out in five or ten minutes, but since I filed in the county I was living in a few months ago, I have to drive about forty minutes to get to the courthouse.  If I skip the hearing, I risk having my case dismissed and I'll have to file all over again.

While it's inconvenient to need to go to court for something so trivial, it's worth it if it means that I can wrap this whole thing up.

Licensed to Travel

A couple of months ago, I was in a meeting with the head technical writer at Danfoss (she's located at company headquarters in Denmark and we were teleconferencing).  She made multiple references to the fact that I was an important asset for the company and that she wanted to have visit the main office and meet the rest of her team.  Nothing was planned, but I decided that it was probably a good idea to apply for a passport so I wouldn't be in a rush later if an actual meeting was scheduled.

Last week, an actual meeting was scheduled.  I was asked to visit the land of my forefathers and present a couple of projects I've been working on since I joined the company in December.  I'm feeling a mixture of emotions (excitement, anxiety, pride, nervousness, happiness) about being important enough for my company to fly me over four thousand miles away, but I was also worried that even though I had submitted my application and my check to the State Department had cleared, my passport wouldn't be approved in time.  Yesterday, I came home to find my brand new passport in my mailbox.

This whole experience, from applying when I did to the recent praise I've been receiving, is another confirmation to me that this is the job that I moved Maryland for.  This has been an amazing experience so far and it just keeps getting better.

You Think This is Bad...?

I was talking with Ian last week about how Maryland is a state with a lot of move-ins.  At work, at church, wherever, I'll met someone and eventually it will come up that they're originally from some other state.  Since I am too, it helps me feel at home.

Apparently (according to Ian), a common complaint from non-native Marylanders is that state taxes here are very high.  I laughed out loud when I heard that.  Being from California, things seem downright reasonable here!

As an example, a few weeks ago I pushed a yellow light too much and ended up running a red light.  I was caught on camera and mailed a ticket, proof of my transgression.  I was annoyed that I had been so reckless, but I happily paid the $75 ticket.  For those unaware, a similar ticket in the San Diego area would be around $300.  Technically fines aren't taxes, but the two are connected.

Ultimately, I moved to Maryland because I couldn't find work in the Golden State and my new home state has treated me rather well so far, so I feel just fine about any taxes and fines that have come my way.

Small World

This past Friday I attended a game night hosted by a family in my new ward.  The family's adults are Dave and Naomi, the latter of whom I wrote about a couple of weeks back.  It was a lot of fun and I got to interact with plenty of people I hadn't met before by playing lots of weird and silly games.

At one point during the night, Naomi referenced the area from which I just moved and asked which ward I had attended.  I told her and she asked if I knew a family that also attends the ward in question, the Simciks.  I told her that I was very close the Simcik family and that I still stayed in touch with them since moving from that area.  I asked her how she knew them.  Apparently, Mark and Lori's daughter just married Dave's cousin.  He and Naomi had attended the reception a weekend or two prior.

In most circumstances, I would brush it off as being a coincidence or at most serendipity, but this feels more divinely organized than that.  Perhaps I'm reading too much into it, but it was a loving connection and I was glad to make it.

Eaten Alive

Since I had work off on Friday, I went and visited with the Larsens for a Day Before Independence Day celebration.  Ian grilled hot dogs and corn on the cob and we ate fresh-cut watermelon.  Later on, the kids wanted to do some baking, so we made some double chocolate cookies that are always a hit -- I let each kid drop one cookie on the baking sheet and they were both eager to eat the cookie that they made.

While I was there, I spent a little time outside with the kids.  They love running around outside, but it's extra fun when a visitor does it with them.  I was only outside for about thirty minutes, but I got bit four times by mosquitoes, twice on my right leg (I was wearing shorts).  I thought the bug bites were strange, since I didn't notice too many bugs the last two summers, but didn't think much else on the matter.

The next day, I spent the bulk of the day at the Simcik's, helping them clean out their garage.  When they first moved to Maryland, a lot of their stuff was just shoved into the garage.  Now, after three years, they're trying to find everything a home.  I was happy to help and it was great to spend time with my good friends -- I even made a dessert that I hadn't tried before to share (it was really good).

Unfortunately, we were working outside and since it was hot, I was wearing shorts again.  When I made it home, I counted fifteen mosquito bites, ten of which were on my right leg below the knee.  In an attempt to fight against the itching, I took an antihistamine and went to bed.

The next morning, I was so groggy from the medication that I couldn't get out of bed. My church meets at ten, but I was in and out of sleep until after noon.  And while the allergy medication did help take the edge off the itching, it had worn off by the time I could function, so I never got to enjoy it.

While staying cool is important, the next time I spend time outside this summer, I'll either wear bug repellent or long pants.  Possibly both.

Safety and Discomfort

I've been contacted by multiple family members, checking on me because of the riots that are happening in Baltimore right now.  To those that haven't asked but want to know: I am safe.  I don't live near, work near, or commute through any of the areas that are affected.

In fact, I was so oblivious to what was happening in the city that I decided to enjoy the sunshine on Monday by going for a run.  I've been staying fit by running on a treadmill at the gym during the winter, but there's just something special about running outside.  Once I started, I enjoyed it so much that when I finished my normal loop, I ran it again.  That's right, I ran 7.5 miles on little more than a whim (and I did it 67 minutes).

However.

The next morning I woke up with my left knee in pain.  I put on a knee brace and tried to stay off it, but it felt like I had twisted it pretty hard.  The fact that it's my left knee seems important.  About twelve years ago, when I was on my mission, I was hit by a bus while I was crossing the street.  Being a missionary, I was divinely protected and the only injury I sustained was my left knee was badly bruised.  So, I experienced a miracle and walked away from something that could have crippled me for life.  In fact, it's taken a dozen years for me to experience any negative side effects.  Not a bad deal.

Where does that leave me now?  My knee feels a lot better than it did yesterday and I plan on wearing the knee brace on my next run.  If that doesn't help, I'll see my doctor to discuss my options.  I'll stop running if I have to, but I want to know what other options I have.  For now, I'll just try to take it easy.

Two Years

On this day in the year 2013, I moved to Maryland.  A lot has happened in the 730 days since I first became a Marylander.  For those of you who are just joining us:

• I've been employed by six different companies, two of which were temp agencies.
• Despite all of the companies I've worked for, I've gone through two long bouts of unemployment.
• I've made some very good friends in my ward.
• I've been to the ER thrice.
• I've had a seizure.
• I've had multiple beards and grew my hair down to my chin.
• I've acquired a roommate.
• I've really developed my skills as both a baker and a chef.
• I've improved my credit enough to finance my own car for the first time.
• I've been a Gospel Doctrine teacher for over a year.
• I've received many significant personal revelations.
• I've decided, along with Allison, to move forward with getting divorce.

That's a lot of things.  Some of them are really, really good and some of them are very unfortunate.  Regardless of where they fall on the spectrum of positivity, all of these things have shaped me into the man I am today.  And while it can be debated what kind of man that is, one thing I can say with certainty: I am a better man today than when I first moved to Maryland.

Maryland's motto could be, "A place where men become better."