Results

So, Donald Trump is the new president.  You may recall that I predicted that this very thing would never happen.  I’m mature enough to admit that I was wrong, though that’s not the purpose of this post.  Instead, I’d like to offer my thoughts about the recent election, including the results.

First, as I already mentioned, I didn’t support either candidate.  I felt that both Donald Trump and Hilary Clinton were bad choices, so I voted for someone who I believed would do the best job, despite knowing that he had no real chance of succeeding.  I feel good about my decision and I’m glad that I voted the way that I did.

Second, I was surprised that Trump won.  Polls showed Clinton as the leader, though by a narrow margin.  In addition to the polls, most media outlets mocked the Trump campaign and his supporters, leading many people—including me—to believe that while the election would be close, Clinton would be the victor.  When Trump won, I think we were all caught off guard. However, that’s actually a bit inspiring.  My boss, Magda, is originally from Poland and spent several years in Mexico.  She’s seen her share of rigged elections and she thought that Trump’s success proved that the American election process was honest.  As she put it, “It shows that the system works.”  Despite my lack of support for the president-elect, I must admit that her words do give me hope.

Third, I think I understand where Trump supporters are coming from.  When I served my mission in northern Ohio, I spent the majority of my time in more rural areas.  I remember one town in particular that had once been a manufacturing hub with four different plants.  By the time I visited, three of the plants had shut down and the third had slowed production.  The town was dying and the residents didn’t know how to cope.  I also remember meeting farmers who were using old, outdated equipment because, despite receiving government subsidies, they couldn’t afford to replace anything.  Most (if not all) of Obama’s policies benefited the working poor and middle class in cities, not the country.  After eight years of a president who they felt was ignoring them, the people who didn’t live in a major city wanted someone very different.  While Trump certainly had supporters in urban communities, the majority of his success was with people out in the country.

Fourth, protests are happening in cities across the US because of Trump’s surprise victory.  But what’s the end goal of those involved?  This isn’t like other recent protests such as those condemning police brutality—in those cases, the protestors wanted to be treated better by police, something that should happen anyway. With the case of the new president-elect, the protestors are complaining about not getting their way.  Besides that, Trump isn’t even president yet.  He’s been elected, but he won’t be sworn in until early next year.  Even if we don’t trust Trump, can’t we at least give our fellow Americans the benefit of the doubt for choosing him?  And even if we can’t there’s nothing that can be done at this point.  If he’s a bad president, he can be impeached, but there is no constitutional way to prevent him from taking office come January.

Finally, I was disappointed by how little respect Trump supporters got from the media.  Not the man himself—Trump makes himself an easy target for ridicule—but the citizens who attended his rallies and put his signs in their front yards.  They were depicted as dumb hicks and religious zealots who were too stupid to be reasoned with.  The fact that they were mocked so much may have had a hand in the election’s outcome.  While I haven’t heard of anyone saying that they voted for Trump as a way of protesting this mockery, I’m sure that at the very least it kept them from considering Clinton.  I imagine one of these people watching Saturday Night Live, Last Week Tonight, or even The Tonight Show and hearing something to the equivalent of “Are you thinking about voting for Trump?  Here’s a list of ways that you’re stupid.”  That kind of rhetoric isn’t going to convince anyone that isn’t already on your side.

I do like some of the things I’ve seen (mostly on Facebook) where people are sharing the sentiment that we need to unite as a citizenry and respect each other and the way we voted.  I didn’t vote for Trump and I don’t care for the man or his politics, but I believe in this country.  America is not a bunch of rules and documents; it’s people who believe in each other and those who have gone before us.  I believe in America and I hope that the rest of my brothers and sister in this, the greatest nation in the world, can share that faith with me.

Free at Last!

The divorce is final!  Last night I checked the website that updates the status of civil cases in Maryland, and to my surprise the judge had already seen and ruled on my case.  On Monday, in fact.

Digital proof that it's finally over.

If that wasn't enough, I got the official document in the mail when I got home from work.  Not only am I divorced, I have the documentation to prove it!

I was so excited that I barely slept.  When I went into the office this morning, I was a ball of energy, which is quite out of the ordinary when I first arrive.  The people that I shared my news with know me well enough to recognize that I was happy to done with the legal process and be out of a dead marriage; unfortunately, some other people overheard and made jokes like "I bet you won't make that mistake again!" or "Quit making those of us still trapped jealous" and so on.  That was frustrating, but it couldn't bring me down.

Thank you to everyone that prayed for me during this difficult time.  Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go and meet some nice Mormon girls and go on as many dates as possible.

Thank You, Your Honor

My divorce hearing was today.

It was pretty straight forward.  My case was called and Ian and I went in.  I identified myself as the plaintiff and Ian as my witness.  We were both sworn in by the magistrate and asked to sit down.  The magistrate asked me several questions to verify the information I had already submitted -- some questions I answered with names and dates, others I just said yes or no.  Ian was asked a few questions to corroborate my story, which he did.  After reviewing all of the information (including the fact that neither party was seeking damages and that the defendant was served but never responded), the magistrate said she would recommend to the presiding judge to rule in favor of granting the divorce.  I filled out another form and was on my way.  Including waiting to be called in and filling out the final form, the whole process took about an hour.

I would like to reiterate that the magistrate did not make a final ruling; that still needs to be done by a judge.  The magistrate did say she would recommend ruling in my favor, so at least I can be happy about that.  The way it look, the only things left to do are to have the judge make the final decision and a file clerk process the case.  But based on my experience thus far, I'll wait until I have the final papers in my hands before I celebrate.

I Should Have Known!

I went to my divorce hearing today.  I had all of my paperwork, I was clean shaven, and I wore my new suit.  In other words, I was prepared.  I appeared before the magistrate and she listed all of the forms I had brought with me as evidence that I had done everything in the right order (so I hadn't needed to have brought my copies after all).

Then she asked if I had a witness to testify on my behalf.  I told her that I didn't, to which she replied that the case could not proceed without a witness.  Thankfully, she did not dismiss the case but instead had it rescheduled.  I will now be appearing next Monday (May 23) and Ian has already agreed to testify on my behalf.  According to the magistrate, all Ian needs to confirm is that I was married and was properly separated before filling for divorce.

It was silly of me to think that after so many hiccups along the way that the hearing go smoothly.  I wouldn't wish divorce on my worst enemy, but if I ever have to go through this again, you better believe I'll be using a lawyer.

Nearing the End

My divorce hearing is on Friday afternoon.  It's been nearly a year-and-a-quarter since I first applied for divorice, but the day has finally come.  I have all of my paperwork ready to go and I bought a suit to look as presentable as possible.  And yes, I'll finally be shaving my way past annoying beard (though I did get more compliments on it this weekend than ever before).

It's been a long road to get here, but it looks like it'll all be over soon.  The hearing is at 1:30 PM EDT, if you would like to lend a prayer at or before the time of the main event.

Asylum: Granted

Remember my old roommate from Nigeria, Samuel?  He originally came to the US seeking asylum, as his life had been threatened in his home country.  Immigration is not a simple operation in the US and Samuel had been waiting for his hearing date for years.  Yesterday, Samuel sent me a text to tell me that he had been granted asylum!  Plus, with his legal status out of limbo, he's expecting his family will join him in just a few months.  It's been a long process for him and I'm happy that his patience and long-suffering have paid off.

Hearing Date

I originally filed for divorce back on March 23, 2015.  Finally, nearly a year later, I have a hearing date.  I was hoping to have things wrapped up by the end of this month, but apparently, that was expecting too much.  My hearing date is in the middle of May.

In some ways it's depressing that the hearing is still so far away, and yet, I'm not saddened by it.  While it's not as soon as I wanted it to be, I do finally have a date.  Time will crawl forward and before I know it, I'll be standing in court.  I know that after the hearing, there will still be some time while everything is being processed before I'm officially single, but that will be a week or two at the most.

I guess I should keep my eyes open for good places to take a first date during the summer, because I plan on going on a lot of first dates.  And now I know when I can start.

The End is Near

The State of Maryland has a website where you can look up the current status of open legal cases.  Unfortunately, the site only says what forms have been submitted by involved parties or what notices have been issued by the court.  To put it another way, I highly suspect that the final hearing in my divorce has been set, but I don't know the date of it yet.  I should get the official notice in the mail in the next few days.  Until then, I eagerly await it, hoping that it will be sooner rather than later.

Status Update

Yesterday, I had to go to the county clerk's office for another status update.  The last time I attended one, I had just found out that the first summons I issued hadn't been accepted.  This time, I had just submitted a request for default (i.e., a request that the court moves forward with the divorce proceedings despite Allison not responding to the original complaint and/or summons), so we should be moving forward now.

One nice thing I found out: when Allison's thirty days to respond to my request for default runs out, I don't have to request a hearing date.  Rather, the court will issue one automatically.  I'm still going to call and make sure that no action is required on my part once the time is up, but it's nice to know I shouldn't be required to.  At the rate we're going, everything should be finalized before my birthday.

And that would be the greatest birthday present I could ask for this year.

Almost Duped

I almost fell for a Nigerian Prince Scam.  For those unfamiliar, this sort of scam has a Nigerian prince  (or other foreign dignitary) contact a victim for help: due to political unrest, he cannot access his vast fortune; he offers to send a large check and all you have to do is wire back a small portion of it so that he can free his family.  The problem is that the check is fake, but due to a law in the US, it will initially clear.  After a couple of weeks, however, the bank will find out that the check is fake.  If the victim sent the money as asked, they now owe their bank that amount and, likely, overdraft charges.

I had heard about all of this years ago (Allison nearly went through with it once), but this one had a new twist: I was asked if I wanted to be a secret shopper for Wal-Mart.  I thought that sounded pretty good, so I provided my contact information and asked for more information.  A few days later I got an email from a different email address telling me (in broken English) that I had been approved for the secret shopper program.  It continued by saying that I would receive a check that I was to use for my secret shopping experience.  I thought something was fishy, but when no check arrived despite their promises, I figured that they had given up.

Then the check arrived on Wednesday.  The letter gave me instructions to cash the check and transfer some money to some dude in Texas (they hadn't even bothered to come up with a fake business name) from MoneyGram and review the store from where I wired the money.  I will give the scammer props for giving detailed instructions for the kinds of things to look out for (professionalism of staff, cleanliness of store, etc.), making it seem more legitimate.  The big tip-off that it was a scam (in addition to changing the store I'd be reviewing) was that my "salary" was to be deducted from the check.  If I'd gone through with it, I would have lost over two thousand dollars.

I took the check to work yesterday and sent it through the shredder and I've blocked the person from my email.  I let my interest in something that sounded cool blind me from seeing some blatant warning signs.  In the future, I'll need to be more careful.

Second Verse, Same as the First

I got an email on Wednesday to inform me that Allison has been served the second time.  As you may remember, I had Allison served before, but because of mistakes I made, the service wasn't legally binding.  So, I had to do it again, and I was running out of time if I wanted to do this divorce with only one filing (I wouldn't be barred from getting divorced, I just would have to refile and pay the processing fee again).  To avoid trouble, I used a process server.  It meant that I had to pay another party to get things taken care of, but I must say it's worth it because they got the job done.

Things feel weird again, though not like last time.  I'm not sad that it's over with Allison; I've come to terms with that and I'm ready to move on.  No, it's weird because I'm ready to move on.  I want to get on with my life and start dating again, but I've got to wait through a minimum of 90 days (very likely longer) before it's all over.  Knowing that I have that long ahead of me is pretty depressing.  You don't need to worry about me -- I'm still going to work everyday and I'm managing okay.  It's just that I've been alone for so long already.  In fact, in late January (just a little over a month a way), it will be four years since we got separated.

I just want to be free from this torture that is loneliness.

See You in Court

I have a hearing to attend this morning.  It's about the divorce, but it won't be wrapping things up.  You see, when I had Allison served back in August, I didn't include one document because I had previously emailed it to her.  She had all the paperwork that I needed to deliver, but the court had no record of her receiving it, so I have to serve her a second time.  Allison already knows and I'm working with her to coordinate the delivery.

So why the hearing?  The reason I have to appear in court is because I first filed for divorce back in February and it doesn't usually take this long to finalize everything.  The court order I was issued simply says "Status Update" in the subject line.  I should be in and out in five or ten minutes, but since I filed in the county I was living in a few months ago, I have to drive about forty minutes to get to the courthouse.  If I skip the hearing, I risk having my case dismissed and I'll have to file all over again.

While it's inconvenient to need to go to court for something so trivial, it's worth it if it means that I can wrap this whole thing up.

Tuesdays with Media: the Happy Birthday song

The song we all sing on someone's birthday has been in a strange position, legally speaking, for quite some time.  Despite the melody having been around since at least the late nineteenth century, the combination of the words and music together was considered unique enough that the song was copyrighted in 1935.  That meant that the song could not be sung in any commercial settings without obtaining permission (and paying licensing fees) to the copyright holder.

For a long time, no one took the copyright that seriously, but then in 1988, Warner/Chappell Music bought the copyright.  Since Warner/Chappell Music is a division of Warner Bros., even the threat of being sued was enough for everyone to stop using the song.  If you notice, from that time until the present, movies and TV shows rarely show anyone singing the happy birthday song -- sometimes using a new song, sometimes editing around when the characters would be singing -- and when I was a waiter, we had to use a different song when customers requested we celebrate with them.  Even the Children's Songbook by the Church has a different, non-copyrighted birthday song in it.  Such an odd circumstance for the most recognizable song in the English language, according to the Guinness Book of World Records.

Back in 2013, a couple of lawsuits were filed against Warner/Chappell Music, contesting that the company did not, in fact, own the exclusive rights to the song, though the lawsuits were eventually combined into one.  The basis of the lawsuit was that since the melody, which originally appeared in the song "Good Morning to All," was in the public domain, then no one could own the song "Happy Birthday to You" because the lyrics of both songs are nearly exactly the same.  Apparently the judge agreed, because on September 22, 2015, just two weeks ago, the song "Happy Birthday to You" was declared to be in the public domain.

Sort of.  The judge ruled that Warner/Chappell Music failed to adequately prove to own the copyright to the song, so the company no longer owns the song.  Since this is a bureaucratic process, it's moving slowly.  I'm going to guess that the song will be public domain in a couple of years, but until then, it's in a sort of legal limbo.  However, feel free to record yourself singing the song and publish your recording wherever you like: since no one owns the song, no one has the power to order you to cease and desist.

The Sadder Thing

On Monday, I took some time off of work, went to my county's Clerk's office, and filed for divorce.

Yeah.

While I was standing in line, directly in front of me was a couple waiting to get married.  Not applying for a marriage license but actually getting married.  I thought to myself, What's sadder, filing for divorce or getting married in jeans with no family present?  But even after just a few seconds, I realized that I was harshly judging this couple.  It was 9 am on a Monday morning, so all of their friends and family were probably at work.  And maybe they didn't dress up not because they didn't care, but because they're poor and didn't have anything nicer.  They were both wearing white tops and they looked well-groomed, so they took at least some care.

So, I realized that the question that I sarcastically asked myself pointed to the simple fact that joining your life to another person's, even in less-than-ideal circumstances, is an expression of love and hope.

And getting divorced is just sad.

Do Americans Have the Right to Be Stupid?

Recently, celebrity doctor, Dr. Oz, has come under fire for faulty advice he's given out on his show.  As a way to pay for his show, in addition to traditional commercials, he has endorsed homeopathic products with little or no scientific evidence of being effective.  Some people have even put Dr. Oz's advice over that of their own physician.  He is being sued for his false claims.

Here's the question that no one is asking: is he responsible for people blindly following his advice?  This isn't really about him endorsing products (celebrities do that all the time), this is about Americans wanting to place the blame for their own stupidity on someone else.

So, going back to the title of this post, do Americans have the right to be stupid?  I believe so.  If I want be lazy and not work, I shouldn't be forced to - nor should I be cared for if I take that route in life.  If I want to only eat junk food and avoid vegetables like the plague, the FDA shouldn't be there to put broccoli on my hamburger.  I'm not suggesting that all regulations cease; it's nice to know that there can be no more than one rodent hair per 100 grams of chocolate produced in the US and I don't want that to go away.  What I'm saying is that too often, we want to be protected from ourselves.

I for one do not see Dr. Oz as a villainous person that is taking advantage of his show to hock sugar pills to unsuspecting saps.  I also don't see him as a victim who was duped into selling worthless crap.  He's a guy that got caught up in being a celebrity.  People say that as an actual doctor, he should know better.  I say that we should know better than to treat an advertisement as medical advice.

I realize that I'm at an advantage when compared to the average American: I'm a member of a church that teaches it's members to look beyond the surface and gain a deep understanding of the truth for themselves and not to simply take someone else's word for it.  With that kind of outlook, it's a lot harder to get swept up in lies and half-truths.

Surprising Trial

Wednesday began as any other day, with a pleasant breakfast and a hot shower.  Right when I was about to leave, however, my pant split.  Better to have it happen at home than at the office, I guess (also, this is the second pair of jeans from Old Navy to split on me after only a few months of use).  This incident was to be a foreshadow of the rest of my day.

The first half of work went by easily enough with the assignment I was working on keeping me busy.  At lunch, I decided that I would go to the MVA (the state's version of the DMV) to get a Maryland license.  Why go on my lunch?  The MVA offices keep insane hours, closing at 4pm every weekday and noon on Saturdays.  I looked online to see if I could make an appointment, but discovered that wasn't an option.  I didn't want to wait until Saturday because the MVA requires either a passport or a birth certificate and I only just got my birth certificate in and my license expires this coming Sunday.  I didn't want to push things too close, just in case I needed more time.  Another reason I went on my lunch was because there was a tracker online that said the wait was only 15 minutes.  I figured that was a good sign, so I went.

The nearest MVA office was twenty minutes away, which isn't too bad, but I was starting to get nervous when I arrived that I wouldn't have time to finish everything and get back to the office in time.  I quickly queued and got my number.  I found a seat near a monitor that tracked which number was last called and waited.  My number was getting close, but time was quickly running out.  I was finally called around the time that I should have been on my way back to the office.  I decided to stay since I was already at the window.  How long could it take?

In addition to needing my birth certificate, they also needed my Social Security Card, my California license, and two pieces of mail to prove residency: I had a bill and a pay stub, but they would only accept the former.  Luckily, the envelope that my birth certificate came in was in the car and that worked.  My picture was taken, my information was confirmed, and it looked like I was nearly done.  When the employee handed back my documents, she kept my California license.  I asked to have it back (I still have my first two licenses and wanted to keep the third), but she refused.  I asked why and she just said she couldn't give it back.  I asked to speak to a manager, who repeated the same thing.  I offered that they could deface the ID, even cut it half, but they wouldn't budge.  I was given my new Maryland license and directed to where I could register a formal complaint.  I decided to just go back to work.

As I drove, I got more and more angry.  Why was losing my old license such a big deal?  I thought it was a good picture of me, but that didn't explain why I was so upset.  I made it back to the office (twenty minutes late, though I wasn't in trouble or anything) and I sat at my desk, ready for a welcomed distraction, but I couldn't calm down enough to concentrate.  In fact, I got so mad that I started to shake a little.  I eventually broke down and cried a little bit, the pain was so great.  While I don't have my own office, my desk is in the server room where I'm otherwise alone, so I didn't have to worry about being embarrassed.  The rest of the day, I tried to be productive, but my efforts were futile.  The rest of my time at the office was basically shot.

Why had I gotten so upset over something so trivial?  I'm still not sure, but I've thought a lot about it and came up with this: stress.  I like my new job, but with a recent history of losing good jobs after a short time, I'm nervous about proving myself, both to the company and myself.  Going to any form of the DMV is stressful, especially if you do something stupid like go on a lunch break.  And then losing my license was a an unexpected blow, taking with it one of my strongest ties to my home state.  It all became more than I could bear.

While I was struggling through the second-half of my workday, I said a prayer, asking for relief (I remember thinking how "ugly" the emotions were that I was experiencing).  I felt inspired to get a Priesthood blessing.  I texted one of my Home Teachers to see if he would be available that evening.  He wasn't, but he called his companion (I only had the one number) who found a second brother to assist.  I wasn't able to get the blessing until that evening and by then I had calmed down considerably.  Still, I had felt prompted to get a blessing so I saw no point in turning it down now.  The blessing that I received was short, simply promising me that I would find peace.  With the word "Amen," all of the stress and anxiety of the day was gone.  I thanked the brothers and before long they were on their way.  After they left, Samuel asked me if I was now happy (there's that word again).  I laughed and replied that no, I was at peace.

This experience was strange and I am still surprised at the impact that such small things can have when one is stressed out: you're not upset at the trivial annoyance, it's just the thing that pushes you past your limit.  However, I am very grateful that I have a faithful Home Teacher and that I listened to the Spirit and received a blessing that brought a peace "which [sur]passeth all understanding."

Duties

Last week I briefly touched on a few details about my new job, but I didn't actually say what my responsibilities would be.  Let's fix that.

CAS Severn (CAS is pronounced as one word, "Cass," and stands for "Computer Applications Specialists") has a contract with the United States Government to create a computer program to reduce wasteful spending within Medicare.  I can go into more detail, but I'm not sure what I can or cannot share - I signed a lengthy nondisclosure agreement - but I think what I've laid out is vague enough that I should be fine.  This program is one of the ways President Obama is fulfilling his promise to free up money to pay for the Affordable Care Act.  I must admit, being apart of a company that will help to reduce the amount of money that the government bleeds on a daily basis makes me feel really good: it's something to be proud of.

Where I fit into this whole thing is that I will be writing the user manual for the program that is still being coded.  I've been spending a lot of my time while at work reading up on what we have so far, as well as looking at the requirements set by Medicare, in order to familiarize myself with the project.  It's really dry, desert-like even, but that's no surprise.  I'll mostly be taking data from the programmers and plugging it into a template, while still keeping it as readable as possible, which is the real challenge of the project.  On top of writing the user manual, I'll also be doing product testing to make sure that the program does what it's supposed, but that won't be for quite some time.  I may also give some presentations to help train some of the users in the new program once it's rolled out.

I just realized that I have a pretty vital role in a major project that will have a significant, positive impact on a well-established government program.  Holy wow, that's amazing.  This really is the time to prove to the professional world that I've got what it takes.  I'm ready and I'm excited.

The Land Down Under

My commute to and from my new work has gotten much, much easier recently.

I should start by saying that when I first went to the office building where I work for the interview and the actual first day on the job, I relied on the GPS unit that my folks graciously gave me.  Unfortunately, it sent me through downtown Baltimore, which is a terrible place to be if you're in a car.  The whole trip would take just over an hour, which is not a good way to spend your day.

Determined to find a better solution, I turned to my good friend, the internet.  According to Google maps, if I took a toll road, I could skip the stop-and-go of downtown.  So I wrote down the directions, made sure I had cash, and set off for work.  It turns out that the toll is for a tunnel that goes under Baltimore Harbor, which is kind of cool.  What's really cool is that taking the route that includes the tunnel drops my commute down to just over thirty minutes.  What's uncool is the price of the toll: $4 each way (or $40 a week).  Luckily, I overheard some co-workers talking about discount plans that, once signed up, will cut the cost by about two-thirds.  That's a lot more reasonable.

Even without the discount, taking the tunnel saves about an hour of my day that would otherwise be spent sitting in traffic.  Getting that time back is worth the price of admission.

(On an unrelated note, the building I work in is right on the waterfront and I can see the harbor from a window near my cubicle.  And, because Maryland has such a curly coastline, the water is actually to west.  I could almost forget that I wasn't looking at the Pacific.)

It's official!

Here, in blurry photographic evidence, is undeniable proof that Allison and I are, indeed, lawfully wedded. Isn't it sweet?