Mutation? UPDATED

For the past few weeks, I've been developing a rash on the inside of both of my upper arms.  I don't know what's causing it, but it continues to get worse.  In addition to the rash, I have bumps growing on both of my hands.  They don't itch and they aren't very pronounced, but they still bother me.  And the latest change happened this evening.  I rinsed my contacts in saline solution and put them back on, only for my left eye to sting and become red and swollen.

Sorry for the weird angle.

I have an appointment with my doctor next week to talk to him about what's happening, because I'm starting to feel like my body's attacking itself.

UPDATE
Here's a picture of the bumps on my hands:

Seriously, what's happening to me?

Shut Up

I attended the local YSA ward on Sunday and joined them for FHE this evening.  I made sure I introduced myself to as many people as possible, but I ended up interacting with more men than women.  If I'm to be attending this ward moving forward (which I haven't decided on yet) than I'll need some guy friends too, so that's okay for the first week (rest assured, though, that I'll be focusing my efforts on talking to the sisters in the ward).

Well, this is a pretty young ward -- the men more than the women -- and I feel a bit out of place, especially when compared to my last ward where the average age in the Elder's Quorum was in the early-to-mid thirties.  What's one thing that all young men have in common?  They think they're right even they aren't (I suppose it could be argued that all men have this in common, regardless of age).  That can pose a problem when I offer an opinion (which is neither right nor wrong), only for someone to argue otherwise.  This very situation unfolded a few times this evening, with several different men spouting nonsense and backing up their claims with something approaching sense that only fell apart when examined with any scrutiny.  (And yes, the irony that I did this sort of thing all the time not that long ago is not lost on me).  I was starting to get annoyed when I realized the solution.

I can't convince them of anything, so I shouldn't waste the effort.  Basically, I need to keep my mouth shut.  And I just realized that this approach will probably help me stand out more: in a ward full of guys endlessly pontificating, the one who doesn't always need to be right is unique.

Sometimes we need to see our own flaws in others in order for us to realize how negative they are.  After my interactions tonight, I want to make sure that I'm better than that moving forward.  Here's to progress.

My Happy Place

Today was frustrating.  I won't going into the specifics, just know that someone I needed information from chose today to be a terrible communicator.  It really got under my skin, to the point that I was really distracted for the last part of my workday.

Once I was out of the office, I contemplated doing what I would have done when I was still on levetiracetam and depressed: binge on takeout food.  But I reminded myself that I've made a lot of progress (I've lost nearly twenty pounds in a little under three months) and that I didn't want to bring back destructive habits -- I actually have a personal rule in place where I'm not allowed to go to a restaurant by myself.  But in my agitated state, I still wanted something new (or at least unusual) for dinner.  So, I googled a recipe and went shopping.

Once I got home with everything I needed for garlic butter shrimp pasta, I started cooking.  I don't know when it happened, but suddenly, I wasn't upset anymore.  I was too busy enjoying the aromas of the spices and the feel of the ingredients as I added them to the pan -- I also liked the music I was playing to set the mood (I was making Italian food, so probably should have played Sinatra or Guaraldi, but I played prog metal bands Sea in the Sky and Scale the Summit).  And to top it off, the meal was delicious.

It's good to know that when other people get me down, I can just cook my blues away.

Chance Coincidence

I had the missionaries over for dinner last night (a different pair than before) and the Elder who gave the spiritual thought challenged me to share the gospel with someone soon.  I said I had a coworker in mind who might be ready, so I accepted the challenge.  Now, this particular coworker who I had in mind, is away at a trade show until sometime next week, so I didn't think too much of the Elder's challenge, at least for now.

At work today, I sent an email to someone and jokingly used the word moron (facetiously referring to myself).  This email was deemed humorous enough to be shared with a few friends, one of whom was the receptionist.  The receptionist responded back with a joke about how I left out the second M (making "moron" into "Mormon"), though only to her friend that sent it to her and not to me.  After all of this happened unbeknownst to me, I went and asked the receptionist an unrelated question.  Once she answered my question, she shared her joke with me, not realizing that it's a joke that I've heard off and on since high school.  And then, because I'm an explainer, I gave her a brief summary of the word Mormon (the prophet, the book, and the nickname for the church).

With that completed, I was going to walk back to my desk, but she asked another question: what do Mormons believe about karma?  (Not sure how she made that leap.)  So, I gave the Golden Rule as a quick answer, but then I delved a little deeper.  I explained that while we should do good, that doesn't mean that only good things will happen to us.  Sometimes bad things happen to us because of either our own or others' free agency or because God is placing an obstacle in our way so that when we overcome it, we're better for it.  I closed by quoting my current favorite scripture, 2 Nephi 5:27: "...we lived after the manner of happiness."  This seemed to really connect with her and she thanked me for sharing, adding "I needed that."  Before I walked away, I asked if she was interested in a Book of Mormon.  She said she was.

I wasn't planning that encounter and I'm not saying that it happened because the Elder challenged me to talk to someone, but it did all line up pretty well.  I don't know if anything will come of this exchange, but I'm glad I opened my mouth.

Welcome to the Digital Age

I've owned a cell phone since I first got home from my mission in mid-2004, though it's always just been a standard cell that can make calls and send texts.  Even when the first iPhone was released in 2007, introducing the world to the idea of carrying around a tiny computer wherever you go, I never upgraded.  At first, I couldn't afford one, and later I thought they were just a trend, but eventually I realized that having a smart phone was not only the standard, but the expectation.  I finally decided to upgrade, but I was trapped in a shared phone plan with Allison (I had agreed to cover her phone bill until the divorce went through) and if I upgraded, it would renew the contract and I be stuck.  With the divorced completed, I was finally free to see what the fuss was all about.

I totally get it.  I bought a Samsung Galaxy S7 and now wherever I go, I have a web browser, an e-reader, a GPS map, a full computer, a really nice digital camera, and, oh yeah, a phone (and more!).  I'm sure I don't know half of what the phone is capable of yet, but it's both a lot of fun and very helpful.  Though, since I changed my number, I'm carrying around two phones with me until the old plan deactivates in three weeks.  Still, I'm glad I've finally joined the rest of the civilized world.

Free at Last!

The divorce is final!  Last night I checked the website that updates the status of civil cases in Maryland, and to my surprise the judge had already seen and ruled on my case.  On Monday, in fact.

Digital proof that it's finally over.

If that wasn't enough, I got the official document in the mail when I got home from work.  Not only am I divorced, I have the documentation to prove it!

I was so excited that I barely slept.  When I went into the office this morning, I was a ball of energy, which is quite out of the ordinary when I first arrive.  The people that I shared my news with know me well enough to recognize that I was happy to done with the legal process and be out of a dead marriage; unfortunately, some other people overheard and made jokes like "I bet you won't make that mistake again!" or "Quit making those of us still trapped jealous" and so on.  That was frustrating, but it couldn't bring me down.

Thank you to everyone that prayed for me during this difficult time.  Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go and meet some nice Mormon girls and go on as many dates as possible.

Tuesdays with Media: Ainsley

I wrote a new story that you can read here.  Other than "Davey and the Dragon," which is a children's story, "Ainsley" is the longest story that I've published on my blog.  I'm telling you about the story's length not to scare you off, but because I want you to know what's ahead.  I had a bit of help from one of my coworkers on this one (he reminded me of an important storytelling principal and offered some other good feedback).  I think the final outcome is really good and I hope that you'll take some time and see for yourself.

Looking Like a Home

I've been living in my current apartment for nearly a year, and while I've had visitors from time to time, I've never had anyone over for dinner.  The biggest obstacle with that was the fact that I didn't own a dining room table.  I recently noticed that the Elders in my ward aren't getting a lot of dinner appointments, and I decided that it was time I got a table so I could help them out.

On Saturday, Ian was kind enough to lend me the use of his truck (with him as the driver) and we visited IKEA.  I had done my research and I knew what I wanted, so the trip was pretty quick.  I've learned over the years that paying extra for natural materials will make the item in question last much longer (I learned that the hard way with shoes), so I got a table made of solid wood.  Now, the wood is pine, so it's still not fancy or anything, but I am happy with my purchase.

Assembling it was an easy if time consuming task and I was able to eat my dinner at my new table by that evening.

A simple table for a simple home.

Now armed with a dining set, I signed up to feed the Elders tomorrow night.  It should be fun.

Seeing All the Errors

Recently, one of my coworkers asked for some advice planning out a big trip this summer.  He's originally from Estonia and is in Baltimore as part of a postgraduate program.  His current position is temporary (I think he worked for Danfoss in Europe, though I'm not positive), so he's planning to take full advantage of his time in the US by seeing lots of sights.  He spends nearly every weekend traveling to different locations all over the east coast, so for his vacation, he's heading west.  His plan includes places like the Grand Canyon, Zion National Park, Las Vegas, Joshua Tree National Park, Disneyland, the Monterey Bay Aquarium, San Francisco, and more, all in two weeks.  Like I said, he's making the most of his time here.

While we were sitting at a table in the breakroom during our lunch hour, my Estonian coworker pulled out his itinerary to ask the group of us questions to see if we could offer any advice.  The first thing I brought up?  His itinerary's title of "West Coast Trip" was inaccurate: the more correct title would be "West Coast and Southwest Trip."  As soon as I pointed it out, I realized that I was correcting an insignificant problem, and one that he hadn't asked for help with.  I immediately apologized for being overly pedantic.  In good humor, he scribbled out part of the title, leaving only "Trip" behind.

I have been a pedant for most (if not all) of my adult life, but I think I've been even more scrutinous lately.  I know that I'm doing it because my job is to catch errors and flaws in writing and when you do that day in and day out, it becomes hard to "turn it off" when I'm not working.  In an effort to be less of a jerk, I'm trying to be more aware of my corrections.  So far, I'm starting to catch myself as I make the unnecessary -- and unwanted -- corrections.  Now I just need to be able to catch myself before I say anything at all.

A Real Pain in the Neck

I don't know what I did, but I have a knot in my lower neck.  More specifically, it's in the middle head of my trapezius or maybe in the upper part of my rhomboid major.  I've had it for a few weeks, but it was barely noticeable before.  Starting yesterday, it really intensified.  I've used a foam roller, I've stretched, and I've popped my back a few times, but nothing has brought me real relief.  It's getting to the point that I'm having trouble turning my head to check my blind spots when I'm driving -- I still do it, I've just added a cry of pain to the movement.  I had a massage a couple of weeks ago while it was still just annoying; it helped a little, but the masseuse didn't speak enough English for me to communicate where the pain was and she just massaged everything.  I'm looking into chiropractors, but my mobility is severely limited right now.

(Also, summer is officially here because I found the first wolf spider of the year.  This one was about as big as the last one, but I handled it much better than last time: I smashed it in one whack with the underside of a frying pan.)