Letter

The following is a work of fiction.  While it has its roots in reality, what is depicted here is hyperbole.  Please do not take what is written here as fact.

Dear Host,

I wanted to thank you for finally letting me free.  You have so many tricks to keep me locked up that I was surprised that I finally got out.  In fact, if I had been acting alone I would probably still be hidden away in my prison cell.  I’m no fool, you see, so I had someone on the outside blow a hole in the wall.  After that, it was as easy as walking out.

I have to admit, you really worked hard to make things uncomfortable for me.  I like things soft and docile, like an obese cow.  (Heh, I’ll have to remember that one for the next time I see Cyn.)   Anyway, once I was free, I set to work rearranging the decor to better suit my style.  At first you didn’t notice.  I made little changes here and there.  Before you realized what was going on, I had moved in and was practically running the place.  Yeah, you still fight me now and then, and even knock me down from time to time, but I can already tell that there isn’t much fight left in you.

You see, all of your plans work better on my brother, Anxi, than on me.  You learned how to fight him pretty well.  You were winning practically every time you two fought.  And while he and I do have some similarities in our fighting styles, I’m much more subtle.  He’ll rush at you hard and fast, trying to knock you down with the first blow, but backing off if you stand your ground.  Much like how a crocodile will jump out and snap its jaws at its prey; if it misses, it won’t chase.  I, however, am more like a snake, sneaking up very slowly so you don’t see me and once I strike, I let my venom work its way into you, slowing you down until you drop.  Then I swallow you whole.

But you know all of that, don’t you?  That’s why even leaving the house is a victory these days.  There you are, going through the motions of improving your life, but all along the way I’m there, whispering in your ear that it’s a waste of time.  You’re still fighting, sure, but it won’t be much longer before you fall.  Just as the mouse will flail in the serpent’s jaws, your efforts are meaningless at this point.

And the best part is, you let me do it!  You didn’t know it, but you just stood by while I knocked down your defenses.  Even your basic bodily functions are in disarray!  Your bowels are a mess, you’ve put on weight, and my double-pronged attack on your sleep has you neither able to fall asleep or wake up.  With any luck, you’ll have trouble breathing soon and will even become disinterested in anything that used to bring you pleasure.  We both know that at the rate we’re going, it’s only a matter of time before I’ve won.

Sincerely,

Your Depression

Employment Status

I am sorry to report that only my in-person interview at PayPal happened on Monday.  For whatever reason, every time that I've confirmed a time for a phone interview with the HR rep from Gantech, he doesn't call.  I'm sure that something simply comes up, but it's been frustrating.  I left him a voicemail and sent him a cover letter - when he originally contacted me, he just wanted to set up an interview, since he had my resume from CareerBuilder.  I hope our interview happens soon.

As for PayPal, the interview was a mess.  When I arrived, no one seemed to know what was going on.  I didn't have a suite number with the address, so I had to guess if I was even at the right place.  The door was locked, but someone was just leaving when I walked up so I asked if I was at the right place (I was).  I said that I had an interview and gave the contact name that I had received with the address.  It took about ten minutes to track down the manager that was to interview me and when she came out she said that she wasn't aware that we were meeting that day.  Weird, I thought, but maybe the employment agency that contacted me hadn't forwarded the information to her? We found an empty conference room and sat down.

I should point out that I made a bad decision to not bring a physical copy of my resume.  I was told to bring one in the confirmation email, but every time I've taken a resume in the past, the interviewer already has a copy since I submitted a resume with my application.  For the last two interviews I've gone to prior to PayPal, I didn't bring a physical copy and everything worked out fine.  This time she was expecting me to have one.  When I explained why I had decide to not bring one, she assured me everything was fine and went and grabbed her laptop and pulled up my resume.  Not the worst thing to every happen, but clearly it was a mistake on my part to not bring my resume.

The interview was awkward.  She kept focusing on my pursuit of working as a technical writer and that the position of Project Coordinator would not involve much writing.  I told her more than once that while I certainly sought a career in writing, I felt that this position could be a positive experience and would still be beneficial to me.  Near the end of the interview, I asked why she was considering me for the position if my work history didn't line up with the job.  She said because I came highly recommended from the employment agency.  I have not yet worked for this particular agency, so it's weird that they're talking me up so much.

With the interview over, we shook hands, exchanged pleasantries and I went home.  Later that day, I got a call from the employment agency rep asking if I had had an interview at PayPal.  I confirmed that I had and she asked if PayPal had contacted me directly since no formal appointment had been made.  My blood ran cold when I realized that Monday was a tentative date for the interview, but it had never been confirmed.  Apparently the employment agency likes to have a rep present for interviews and I broke protocol by going alone.  I apologized several times for the mistake and was told that it was fine, but nothing the rep told me could dissuade me from feeling like I had blown my chance.

Honestly, the PayPal position wasn't the best fit, but it was still a job.  Maybe it's for the best that it was a terrible interview, but that just feels like sour grapes.  In the meantime, I've secured a temporary clerical job at the University of Maryland Medical Center that lasts for one month.  The rep (from a different agency) that found me the job asked multiple times if I was okay taking the job since I am so over-qualified.  I just told her that if something else comes along while I'm working this temp job, I would give the standard two weeks notice and take the other job.  She accepted my response and said that making contacts at the University could be very beneficial.

I'm really just looking forward to the boost in my emotional well-being that comes from working, even if it just temporary.

Life is Full of Unexepected Surprises

Two things happened recently.  I was only involved in one of them.

For those who don't know, there was a fatal shooting at the Columbia Mall.  The shooter used a 12-gauge shotgun and killed two people before ending his own life.  There are rumors that the two people he killed were his former lover and her new boyfriend, but any relationship between the perpetrator and victims has not been confirmed.

I bring this up simply to put everyone's mind at ease that I was nowhere near the mall when the incident occurred.  I am perfectly safe and actually found out about it from Amanda, who texted me a warning about the shooting.  I appreciate her tip, though I was in no danger of visiting the mall.

The other event that happened was that I helped out a sister in the ward that I had just met.  Samuel, a member of the ward who I've been giving rides to church every week, knew of a sister near him that also needed a ride, so after picking up Samuel, I picked up Mary.  Mary and Samuel are both from Nigeria, but have different native languages (he speaks Yoruba while she speaks Igbo) so their accents differ slightly.  When Mary got in the car, she freaked out a little bit.  I asked what was wrong and she said that her car was gone.  I asked if she needed to go back, but she declined the offer, suggesting that she would take care of things after church.

When the church-block was over, we met up and she explained that due to the recent snow storm, she had accidentally double-parked her car and had slightly overlapped the adjacent handicap space.  She was saying that her car was wrongfully impounded; I tried to explain that regardless of fault, she would have to pay to get her car back.  She asked for a ride to the impound lot.

When the three of us arrived, no one was there, so we had to wait.  Nearly thirty minutes later, a tow truck driver showed up in bad mood.  Mary started to fill out the release form, when she was told that her check would not be accepted.  I saw that she had gotten a check from the ward made out to the towing company, so I stepped outside and made a call.  After getting confirmation to go ahead with it from my Quorum president (the Bishop was unavailable), I paid her fee.  I collected the original check and made sure to get a receipt.  I have already heard back from the Bishop that I took that right steps and that I'll be reimbursed this Wednesday.

I am not in a very good position to help others right now.  In fact, paying Mary's fees took the majority of what I have left.  Even so, I knew that I could do it and that I would see that money again soon.  If I hadn't stepped in, Mary's car would still be impounded and everyday it sat there, it would just get more expensive to get released.  Not only was I helping Mary, I was assisting the Ward.

In conclusion, I am safe and actively helping others.

Unintentionally Disclosed Secrets

I made a mistake and accidentally posted some blog entries early.  For those that noticed and read the extra entries yesterday, consider that a sneak peak at a feature that will show up later this year.  For those that missed out, fear not, as they will return.

Comfort Food

I discovered recently that I find the smell of flour to be very comforting.  Even though I mostly focus on desserts, where the prominent flavor is sweetness, flour seems to have a very calming effect on me.

My first impression on the matter is that I have often baked things as an act of service to someone else, so I have come to associate the act of baking with feeling positive about doing kind deeds.  Certainly there have been times that I bake because I want some cookies or brownies or something, but nearly every time, I end up sharing what I've made with someone else.

But there's something else.  Why is it the smell of flour and not vanilla extract or brown sugar or even baking soda?  It could be that I encounter those other aromas in situations that are not related to baking, such as brown sugar in my oatmeal or baking soda used for cleaning (after the fly attack, I used baking soda to deodorize my carpet).  However, I think it also connects back to my childhood.

Smell is supposed to be the sense most closely connected to memory, sometimes not a particular memory, but to a span of time where that smell would be associated.  The smell of burning plastic still reminds me of a job where I one of my duties was shrink-wrapping books, but the entire job comes to mind, not any individual project or book title.

Perhaps the reason I find the smell of flour comforting is because I remember spending a lot of time grinding wheat into flour so that my mom could bake bread.  I was the designated "grinder," probably because even then I could do monotonous tasks without complaining (though, I probably did complain and I just don't remember it).  For a few years, I would spend some time everyday grinding the wheat into flour.  I was very close to the flour as it poured out of the mill, some of it undoubtedly flying into the air, making the aroma very intense.  I remember the fresh-baked bread as always being a treat.  When we would make sandwiches out of it, it seemed strange.  This bread was for eating by itself or with just a bit of butter, not for making sandwiches out of.

Maybe the reason the smell of flour is comforting is both the memories I have of it as a child, and the time I've spent with it as an adult.  The time periods are very different, but for both time of my life, I have associated flour with service.  And right now, any reminder of working is a positive one.

Career Building

I was planning on reporting on two job interviews that I had yesterday, but due to another snow storm, they were both postponed.  However, that doesn't mean that I don't have any good news to report.

One company, Gantech, sought me out for a technical writing position due to my profile on Career Builder.  The cool thing about this set-up is that they were impressed enough by my experience that they contacted me.  Every other time that I've found employment, either I've been contacted by an employment agency (like with Prometric) or I'm the one to initiate contact (like with RJM).  Plus, the commute would be around twenty minutes with traffic, which is a nice bonus.  The company rep and I will have a phone interview later today.

Another company contacted me through an employment agency for a contract position.  I'm less excited for this position, both because it's not permanent and because it's for project manager, but it would be really cool to have PayPal on my resume.  Also, the rep from the employment agency told me that PayPal has me as their top candidate, so I need to let them know if I have any other offers so they know if they need to move forward faster.  The commute isn't as nice as Gantech, but rather about what I had with Prometric.  We're currently on for an interview for this coming Monday.

While these are both interviews and not offers, I'm still excited just to have the ball rolling again.  I was let go from Prometric at a lousy time of year, but now everybody is finally starting to wake up from Christmas/New Year's Vacation.  If Prometric gets back to me soon (I have been in contact with them and they need to get their final budget from Accounting before they know when I can be brought back on), I'll be happy to go back, but it's really nice to know that that isn't my only option.

Two Years

Today is weird day for me.  It is both Allison's birthday and the two year anniversary of our separation.

I've avoided the subjects of Allison and our separation on this blog because it's so complicated.  While I have written about serious things like my depression, that only involves me.  I don't have to worry about what I should or should not share when I'm only writing about myself, but once we bring someone else into it, I have to think about if I'm crossing a line that I shouldn't.  Even when I wrote about Ian's fondness for Coke over Pepsi, I got his permission.  Not being in regular contact with my estranged wife makes it difficult to feel comfortable writing about us because I would have to also write about her.  However, today is different, so I will address our separation, if only briefly.

Allison made a lot of sacrifices for me when we got married.  I picked the University that I wanted to attend and she went along with it, despite the fact that for her degree in Sociology, she could have studied practically anywhere.  We were also really poor, especially that last year together, living on food stamps, trips to the Bishop's Storehouse, and my meager wages from IHOP.  All of that put a lot of stress on our marriage.  When we first got married, we talked about how foolish it was that most people got divorced due to financial reasons, but after over two years of struggling to pay our bills, the stress was just too much.  Money troubles don't ruin marriages, they cause stress-levels to skyrocket which ruins marriages.  Think of it this way: constant stress puts an extreme strain on any relationship and money woes cause more stress than just about anything else.  I always had a good attitude and would say that once we graduated, things would improve.  Then I failed 20th Century British Literature due a single missed assignment and couldn't graduate on time.  All of the stress and money woes of the past year came to a head and something had to give.  Unfortunately, that something was us living together.

I prayed hard about if we should get separated and the Spirit confirmed that we should, but I felt comforted that that was not the end of our marriage.  It was still very difficult to drive Allison to the airport so that she could to go back to stay with her folks, but I was comforted that the Lord knew what He was doing.  Since that time, I have asked for further instruction and been told to simply wait.  I have been ready to move on, but Heavenly Father has made it clear that things are not over.  Please don't think that I am being naive in hanging onto a failed marriage.  I am simply following directions that I have received from the Lord.

Today is still a weird day, but I am happy that I wrote about this difficult and complicated subject.  It was oddly cathartic.

Running Update

I was starting to be better about running regularly again when it suddenly got ridiculously cold throughout most of the US.  With a week off due to the cold (I can only put on so many layers before running becomes difficult), I was afraid that I would slide back into my rut.  Which I did almost immediately by missing my run on Tuesday, the first day that wasn't freeze-the-blood-in-your-veins cold.  I really ran with much better consistency when I was employed.

So, to improve my exercise routine, I became employed.  It's nothing exciting, just a temp job for a few days working on inventory for a company that I had never heard of (that's actually the parent company of several brands I'm familiar with) that's dealing with flood damage after a pipe burst during the Great Chill of 2014.  However, in a surprising turn, my first day on the job (Wednesday) I did push-ups again and yesterday I went for a run.  Apparently, I need structure in my life to be healthy and productive.  I'm not shocked that having some structure again has improved things, just at how quickly the change happened.  I didn't even have to go to work - just get ready in preparation for it - to see immediate results in my well-being.

Also, since the holidays are behind us, I've finally started getting calls about the applications I've been putting in.  No interviews yet, but at least something is happening (I have been in contact with Prometric and it'll be a few weeks before they get their budget and they know when I can come back; I'd love to go back, but if something else comes up in the meantime, I'll take it).  I need a job so that I can get back to living a normal, healthy life (and get rid of my kummerspeck).  Hopefully I'll be able to report good news very soon.

Unexpected Volunteer

Last week I applied for unemployment insurance.  It will take a few weeks to process before I am issued any money, so I'm hoping that by the time I see the first check, I'll have real job.  I've got some good prospects looming, but nothing solid enough to mention yet.

I bring up my application because I had to provide the name, address, phone number, and start and end date for every place I've worked in the last eighteen months (they ended up only going back twelve).  I prepared by writing out this information for every job within the required window - incidentally, this blog was very helpful since it confirmed the start and end dates of every job I've had since moving to Maryland.  Since I didn't have the addresses for every business already recorded somewhere, I Googled the ones I was missing.  Interesting fact: the Italian place I worked at for two weekends has shut down.  Another interesting fact: I was never paid for those two weekends.

That second one I already knew.  I had gone back to return my shirt and apron and confirmed with the assistant manager the hours that I had worked with him assuring me that I would get my check in the next billing cycle.  I never followed up and never got paid.  I kept meaning to do something about it, but I knew it wasn't going to be a lot, so I never got around to it.

As I was applying for unemployment, the agent I was working with would confirm the company that paid out the checks based off of my tax records.  When I gave her the name and dates for when I worked at Mamma Lucia's, nothing came up.  No taxes were filed on my behalf.  That meant that not only did I never get my paycheck, I was never even issued one.

Ultimately, I just laughed it off.  I was a pretty lousy employee since I only quit after I had missed coming in for my double-shift.  Plus, the people I worked with were extremely unprofessional and, in some cases, downright crass.  So in my mind, it sort of evens out: I worked a handful of shifts as a volunteer and got a few free meals for my trouble.  Not a bad deal.

New Monetary System

The other day I roasted a chicken as a way to prepare meals for the rest of the week.  After I had pulled it out of the oven and gave it some time to cool down, I separated the major sections of the bird to make reheating later on easier (I was careful not to say that I "carved" the bird, because I just used my hands).  As often happens, a lot of the skin started to separate from the body as I pulled off legs and wings and whatnot.  Since the skin had already fallen off, I just picked it up and ate it.  This worked fine because the skin is one of my favorite parts, especially since the way that I cooked it, the skin was nice and crispy. Now, I won't pull off the skin for the purpose of eating it, but if it falls off, I figure it's free game.

As I did this, I had the absurd thought that crispy chicken skin (CCS) could be the basis of an economy since it's so highly prized (by me, at least).  As I followed this line of thinking, I recognized how foolish that would be since money needs to have three qualities: valuable, portable, and durable.  So close.  Plus, once you traded something for that item's equivalent value in CCS, wouldn't you just want to eat your money?  Clearly this is not a realistic economic model, not that I thought it would be.

Then my mind thought about a society that uses a consumable good as a cash substitute: the US prison systems.  If you've ever seen any documentary or even fictional depiction of prison, there's often some talk about trading something for so many cigarettes.  Now, I don't know how often a particular inmate smokes his money, but I would think that a cigarette would be more valuable as a commodity to be traded, though I recognize that as a non-smoker, I'm biased.

So, the thought experiment ultimately led to a dead-end, but I am curious if anyone in my audience has a favorite consumable good that they think is desirable enough to have an economy based on it?  Instead of the gold standard, could we have a bacon standard? or a brownie standard? or a pizza standard?  Leave a comment with your thoughts.

A Special Brand of Weird

During my time visiting the Larsens for Christmastime, it was rather nice to just get a chance to hang out and talk with Ian and Amanda.  During my time there, I explained something unusual that I occasionally do while watching TV.  While I don't do this all the time, sometimes when an ad comes on, I'll repeat back random phrases directed at the audience, but spin it around so that it's a "Yo' mama" joke.  For example, a car commercial might say that their vehicle has the best mpg in its class and I'll repeat back, "Your mom has the best mpg in her class."  I have absolutely no idea why I do this.

Ian's response was that I'm "a special brand of weird."  He didn't say it maliciously, he was just dumbfounded that I would do something so absurd.  I replied back that, as someone who answers the phone "Ahoy," I was well aware that I was abnormal (for those that aren't aware, I answer my personal phone with the word that was suggested by the telephone's inventor, Alexander Graham Bell, rather than the more universally recognized greeting, "Hello," that is credited to Thomas Alva Edison, though it was a common greeting at the time; when I'm at work, I say "Hello").

This got me thinking about why I do things differently.  The TV ad thing has evolved mostly from me living alone.  I answer the phone differently just because I got bored of "Hello."  I also would consider myself a "facial hair enthusiast", which has gotten more popular in recent years, but it's still the exception rather than the rule.  I do things differently sometimes just to do them differently, not for any attention.

But I also don't care for sports and that has often made conversing with other men my age difficult.  It's not that there aren't other things to talk about, it's that after an exciting game, other men (and some women, too) will often not want to talk about anything else.  I've considered changing this just for the sake of getting along (as some have suggested), but I find professional sports rather dull.  If I personally know who's competing, then I have a stake in the outcome, but otherwise I just don't see why I should care.  And due to the way that football was often more of a focus at OSU than the education (the University built a professional-sized stadium without adequate parking and was in no hurry to remedy that error), I could never muster up enough school spirit to care if our team won or lost.

So, while my "special brand of weird" can sometimes get in the way, it mostly just means that I do certain things differently than others would expect.  I'm surely not the only one who answers their phone with "Ahoy," just as I know that I'm not the only guy who crochets (there's even another one in my ward) or who enjoys baking.  I may be weird, but one thing I am certainly not is boring.

Women and the Priesthood

As I believe most of my audience already knows, there is a movement within the Church that is petitioning for women to receive the priesthood.  I was completely unaware of this until last October's General Conference.  I didn't share my thoughts then, but I've been thinking more about the matter lately, so I decided to share my feelings on the matter.

First and foremost, this appears to be another example of people refusing to recognize that men and women are different.  Shocking though it may be, I don't have a uterus, which means that I will never be able to give birth.  Also, as a man, thanks to having much a higher volume of testosterone in my body when compared to women, I have an easier time gaining muscle-mass, especially in my upper-body.  This is not "unfair" of my creator to have separated these traits by certain genders, just part of his plan.

Speaking of that plan, when I was teaching Sunday School this last week, I realized that women are more likely to have a natural tendency to want to, fulfill our Heavenly Father's plan.  In Moses 1:39, the Lord states his purpose: us, his children.  Why would women have an easier time with this?  Because of how men and women differ in how they define themselves.

I've mentioned on here before that I often define myself by what I do, what I know, and even what I own.  And while that may not be true for every man, it's generally the norm.  Women tend to define themselves by relationships to others, whether it be as daughter, mother, aunt, co-worker, friend, acquaintance, or even enemy, what tends to define each individual woman is the other people in her life.  Another, extremely nerdy way to look at it is that men are all about verbs and nouns while women are all about pronouns and prepositions.  Men may have trouble seeing the worth in others while women define their very own personal identities based on other people.

All of that is a long way of saying that men need a lot more help than women do when it comes to caring for others.  The priesthood is a great way to urge men to help his fellowman because the priesthood is entirely service-based: I cannot give myself a blessing; I can only give one to someone else.  By giving men the opportunity to hold the priesthood, our Father has pushed us to be aware of others and how to serve them.  This is something, as already established, that women are much better at naturally.

Finally, women already hold the priesthood when they marry a priesthood holder.  Just like the scriptures mention time and time again that the Father and Son are one, so are husbands and wives.  If they are considered one flesh, that means that women, through their husbands, hold the priesthood.  I realize that this is not what the Ordain Women protesters want, but it's what the Lord has made clear is part of his plan.

(Somewhat) Renewed

I haven't written about it here on the blog, but since I've been out of work, I've been fight back worsening depression.  I did some side jobs here and there for people in the ward, but it was getting harder and harder to function.  I had trouble falling asleep and waking up, I was eating poorly, and I couldn't excise since I was still recovering from my seizure.  There was one week where I didn't shower for four days in a row, because I didn't have a reason to leave the house (that's my record as an adult, by the way).  I came to the conclusion just before Christmas that I needed to apply for unemployment, but because I'm new to the state, I have to physically go in to apply - I couldn't find the motivation to get myself to the unemployment office.

Running again helps, but I was still struggling.  Then, on Friday, I went to the Temple for Ward Temple Night.  It's very much what I needed.  While I know I'm not 100% again, I'm feeling far better than I have in ages.  Now, I have all of the required information for the unemployment office (addresses and dates of where I worked) and I'm ready to apply today.

I realize how pathetic it sounds that the big accomplishment before me today is applying for unemployment benefits, but that's how dark things got for me.  How grateful I am that I had and used the opportunity to attend the temple and allow the Lord to bless me with his Spirit.

Movie Reviews, 2013

I saw four movies in theaters this last year, so I thought that it might be fun to write short reviews for them, even though all but one of them is now available on DVD.  Maybe this could be a way for you to figure out if you want to rent one of the films I saw.

Iron Man 3
This film pulls double duty since it's the second sequel to Iron Man and the first movie in the Marvel Cinematic Universe since The Avengers.  If you liked the first two Iron Man movies, you'll probably like this one, too (I still think the first one is the best in the series, but this one is at least as good as 2).  It has a nice balance of action and humor, but also sees some nice growth for our protagonist, Tony Stark.  One departure when compared to the first two Iron Mans is that there are super-powered villains instead of everyone getting their abilities solely from tech; make of that what you will.  The movie isn't without it's plot holes, but they're not too hard to overlook and didn't get in the way of my enjoyment of the film.

Man of Steel
I have invested a lot of time in the character of Superman over the years, so when I saw this one, I went in really biased.  However, I was happy with the final product.  While not devoid of humor, this one was much more serious than Iron Man 3, but I think that worked in the film's favor.  It's a character study of Clark Kent growing into his powers and learning to use them for good.  There is some Messianic symbolism that's pretty heavy-handed, which I found distracting, but otherwise I have little to complain about.  I liked the depiction of Krypton, I liked the villain's motivation for attacking Earth, I even didn't mind the fact that they got rid of Superman's briefs as a part of his costume.  Christopher Reeve is still the quintessential Superman, but Henry Cavill did a great job and is easily my second favorite actor to portray the character.  While I absolutely recommend the film, keep in mind that there's quite a bit of destruction caused by Superman fighting other Kryptonians - it was so over-the-top that I thought it was almost cartoonish (that happens when characters can juggle cars), though it works within the story and because the characters that are fighting are super-powered, the destruction was less violent than some other action movies that I've seen.

The Wolverine
I was a bit surprised when Ian asked if I wanted to see this one in theaters, since I was planning on waiting until it was released on DVD, but I thought it would be fun so I went.  I point this out because I went in with really low expectations, which may be why I was so surprised with how much I enjoyed it.  The story is a bit overly-complicated (just like a lot of comic books), but not so much that you don't have fun.  The effects were nice, but the best special effect was Hugh Jackman.  He really is a fantastic actor that even when things stop being realistic, he plays everything in a believable way, so you buy into it.  This was one of the best X-Men films (which exist in a different universe than the Marvel films, due to licensing agreements), so if you liked the stuff that came before, this should be right up your alley.

Have you noticed a pattern?  Up until this point, I only watched superhero movies.  I suggested to Ian that we could all go see a movie together (like Frozen or something) when I visited for Christmas, so that I wouldn't have seen only comic book-based films in theaters last year.  He made a suggestion for something for just the two of us to see together that seemed to be a good candidate.

Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues
This is one of those rare sequels that actually surpasses the original.  This movie was very, very, very funny.  Plot wise, it's the same story as the first one, just with some details changed.  But the jokes are packed very tightly and come at you one after another and nearly all of them hit home.  I imagine that most of the members of my audience either didn't care for or see the first Anchorman, so you probably won't like this one either.  For both Ian and myself, however, it was fantastic.

Of the four movies I saw, my favorite will surprise no one: Man of Steel.  The fact that I had such high expectations and I wasn't disappointed really proved to me that it was a good film.  The biggest surprise was The Wolverine.  It was a fun action ride with some nice sci-fi elements and good character development.  The most fun I had with a movie was, hands down, Anchorman 2.  It was such a ridiculous, over-the-top farce with jokes that refused to stop that I couldn't help but enjoy it.  Iron Man 3 was the only movie I went to alone (Ian went with me to the others), so that feeling of awkwardness may have affected my enjoyment of the film.  It was still fun, but it doesn't stand out quite like the others do.

Of the four films I reviewed, I would recommend all of them.  Are there any films you saw this last year that you recommend?

Recovering What's Missing

I had my seizure back in the ides of November and since then, I haven't been able to exercise.  While this was a problem while I was working, it's been an issue of growing concern since I started my time off.  As I have mentioned here before, exercise, especially running, is therapeutic for me.  When I regularly go running, I handle my stress better and I maintain a better sleep schedule.  Losing my ability to go running, meant that I lost a piece of myself.

I've thought a lot about self-identity since my move to Maryland, and I realized that one way that I define myself is as a runner.  I never would have mentioned that if asked, until I lost it.  It's an outdated line from an old song, but it's true: "You don't know what you've got 'til it's gone."

Thankfully, I've started running again.  I still have some pain in my left shoulder, but thanks to the advice from a member of the ward who's a doctor, it's gone way down.  I was worried that the stress from running would make things worse, but with the inflammation reduced, I felt that I could give it a try.  On Saturday, I went on my regular route of 3.75 miles.  My time was lousy, as I knew it would be, but it felt great to be pounding the pavement once again.  I was so sore on Monday that I had trouble moving, but I went again yesterday, despite the pain (though, as someone pointed out to me, it's a "good pain").  I plan on keeping it up.

While things won't be back to normal until I start working again, a small but important piece of myself has been found.