I had my seizure back in the ides of November and since then, I haven't been able to exercise. While this was a problem while I was working, it's been an issue of growing concern since I started my time off. As I have mentioned here before, exercise, especially running, is therapeutic for me. When I regularly go running, I handle my stress better and I maintain a better sleep schedule. Losing my ability to go running, meant that I lost a piece of myself.
I've thought a lot about self-identity since my move to Maryland, and I realized that one way that I define myself is as a runner. I never would have mentioned that if asked, until I lost it. It's an outdated line from an old song, but it's true: "You don't know what you've got 'til it's gone."
Thankfully, I've started running again. I still have some pain in my left shoulder, but thanks to the advice from a member of the ward who's a doctor, it's gone way down. I was worried that the stress from running would make things worse, but with the inflammation reduced, I felt that I could give it a try. On Saturday, I went on my regular route of 3.75 miles. My time was lousy, as I knew it would be, but it felt great to be pounding the pavement once again. I was so sore on Monday that I had trouble moving, but I went again yesterday, despite the pain (though, as someone pointed out to me, it's a "good pain"). I plan on keeping it up.
While things won't be back to normal until I start working again, a small but important piece of myself has been found.
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