Independent Celebrations

To celebrate Independence Day on Friday, I went and hung out with the Larsens.  It was very nice to spend time talking with Ian and playing with the kids.  It's still cool to have the kids run up to me to give me a hug, excitedly shouting "Uncle Jordan!" whenever I visit.  I doubt that will ever get old.

I also shared my granola that I made, which went over better with Ian than the kids, but that's fine; it has a bit of a roasted flavor, so it may be an acquired taste.

After dinner, we walked over to the park for the kids to play around on the equipment there.  This happened:

A happy crowd.

And, yes, the kids thought my longish hair was funny and asked a couple of times why I had a mustache.  Ian said I looked like a "hillbilly sage," though not a trustworthy one.  Also, he alluded that bushiness of my facial hair was evidence of substantial levels of testosterone - which means, even if you don't like it, my facial hair exudes masculinity.

In the end, everyone was happy to spend time together and I can't think of a better way to celebrate the 4th of July.

A Day of Independence

On Sunday, the Ward Choir sang our nation's anthem.  While that's not particularly special, I realized during our performance that when we sing only the first verse, we're really doing ourselves and our great country a disservice.  The first verse ends with trepidation, not knowing if the USA will survive the War of 1812.  By the final verse, however, we proudly proclaim that no only are we strong but we have God on our side.  It's really a beautiful song, inspiring feelings of patriotism, jingoism, and national pride.

Happy Independence Day!

Clean Bill of Health

I went to my doctor yesterday as a follow-up to my last visit about my depression.  He quickly assessed that I have improved to the point of not needing anti-depression medication.  It felt quite good to have my positive suspicions confirmed.

I then explained how when I first moved to the area, it was to find work, so my priority was not on meeting people.  Now that I'm finally secure with my employment again, I need to focus on making friends.  He hardily agreed.  He suggested that I look into either volunteering somewhere or signing up for an activity through the county's community program.  He seemed to think that competition would be good for me for some reason - I didn't bother explaining that I'm not terribly competitive.  The point is that he agreed that I need to be around people on a regular basis in a setting where I can talk to them and get to know them.  Signing up for an activity would give me an obligation to stick to; I just need to figure out what I should do.

I am happy to have my positive feelings confirmed by my doctor.  Now to find something to sign up for!

Aches and Pains

I'm a bit sore from my activities this weekend.  The activities involved baseball, church, and granola.

On Friday, my office went to watch a professional baseball game during office hours.  We watched the local team, the Baltimore Orioles, get spanked by the Tampa Bay Devil Rays.  It was fun to hang out with my coworkers in a more relaxed setting and get to enjoy some of the local scene.  While at the game, I realized that while I'll probably never follow sports, if I did, I'd follow baseball.  The biggest reason is that I knew what was going on the whole time (unlike American Football).  In fact, I even explained the game to the five-year-old son of one of my coworkers without needing any help from anyone.  I have my Grandma Bonnie to thank for that!  Anyway, despite putting on sunscreen, I got sunburned on my arms and right knee (I didn't apply it as well as I thought, apparently).

After the game, I picked up Samuel and we went to help a family in the ward move.  We arrived just in time to help carry their piano down the front steps and up the ramp of the moving truck.  It's a good thing that we arrived when we did since they only had the help of one other brother from the ward and two neighbors.  Six men moving a piano is not very easy but not only did we get it in the truck, we even unloaded it once we got across town.  However, even though I exercise regularly, I am still a bit sore from the move, though not in pain.

On Saturday I made granola.  I was inspired to do so when I made some oatmeal raisin cookie bars that completely crumbled to pieces when I tried to take them out of the pan.  Since granola is mostly oatmeal, I figured it would work out pretty well.  I added slivered almonds, chopped pecans, dried mixed berries (cherries, blueberries, and cranberries), and more oatmeal to the bowl of crumbs and mixed everything together.  For the binder, I heated up a mixture of honey and canola oil and mixed it into the dry ingredients.  Finally, I spread everything out on to two cookie sheets and baked them for an hour and a half at 250, mixing every fifteen minutes.  Once it was all nice and brown, I let everything cool down before I transferred it all to a plastic, air-tight container.  However, in the process of moving the granola (which is quite tasty, by the way), a hardened grain of oatmeal was shoved under my thumbnail and pushed in.  Who knew that cereal could be so painful?!

All in all, it was a fine weekend: one filled with new experiences and service.  I should be recovered by Wednesday or so.

A Lesson in Tolerance

When I was a kid, I participated in several theater productions, both backstage and as an actor.  The main theater group I was a part of was run by a gay couple, Randy and Doug.  However, as a kid, I didn't know that they were a couple or even that they were gay.  I just thought that they were a couple of friends who liked theater.  I remember that I was still involved with this particular theater company in middle school.  It was around then that Ian told me that they were gay and I was shocked.  I didn't know that I knew anyone that was gay and here it turned out that I had known a gay couple for a few years.

Why do I bring this up?  I was thinking about this experience recently and I was impressed that my parents allowed me and my sibling to participate.  This was back in the early-to-mid nineties when the homosexual community was not nearly as accepted as it is today.  My parents could have easily not had us be involved with that particular theater company, but instead, they taught us by example that regardless of someone's lifestyle, they are still human beings and deserve respect.

Nowadays, it's easy to get swept up in an argument with each side taking things to the extreme, but it's important to remember that whatever side we fall on, the other side is made up of fellow human beings and they deserve to be treated as such.  I'm thankful that my parents had the foresight to show me that when I was a child.

Invitation

After church on Sunday, the newly called Ward Mission Leader, Mike, came up to me to ask some questions about Samuel - since Samuel is still a new member and is receiving the new member lessons from the full-time missionaries, Samuel falls under Mike's jurisdiction.  He didn't know that we were roommates, only that I was Samuel's friend.  I updated him on how we ended up sharing an apartment.  He seemed genuinely impressed that I would offer Samuel a place to stay when he was having trouble with his previous housing situation.

Then Mike did something surprising.  He asked me to go mountain biking with him.  I told him that I haven't really done any biking since my mission and that I tend to prefer running these days, but I said that if he had a spare bike for me to use, I'd be happy to go.  He does have an extra bike and said that we would need to plan something.

When we parted ways, I couldn't help but think that Mike might be one of the friends that I'm trying to find.  Again, it's not like I don't have friends in the ward because I do.  It's just that they all have families that they want to spend time with.  So does Mike, but he has an activity that he apparently can't do with them and wants buddy to go with him.

Anyway, the point of this is that it got me thinking: maybe I don't need a few close friends that I see a couple times a week (which is the model I'm used to), maybe I need several friends that I only see about once a month and our gatherings are centered around an activity.  I don't know, I'm just playing around with the idea right now.  However things workout, it's nice to be invited to hang out.

Make a Joyful Noise

Yesterday at church, the ward choir performed "Have I Done Any Good" (the same arrangement can be seen here).  What was particularly nice was that I was a part of that choir.  Even though I've been attending practice for about a month, it was still really nice to perform.  It really is a wonderful experience to sing in a group and make harmonies again.

We were a small group - if we had had one more tenor and one fewer soprano, we would have been a triple quartet - but I think we did well.  It didn't hurt that the arrangement of the hymn we sang is pretty fun and plays around with the rhythm (most of the song is in 6/8 time but part of it is in 7/9 time).  I didn't get too many comments from other members, but Samuel told me that he liked it (he also told me that I stood out since I was the only singer with a mustache).

And!  We'll be singing next week, too.  As part of the celebration of our nation's independence, we'll be singing "The Star-Spangled Banner," but our director is challenging us by switching our parts around.  One of the few songs that I could sing either the melody or the bass part in my sleep but I have to learn the alto part.  I genuinely think that's a great idea.

I am pleased to be able to sing and use my talents and skill as a musician to invite the Spirit and have fun, too.

New Route

Now that Summer weather is upon us, running outside is getting harder.  Even when I take extra care to be hydrated, it's still a lot harder to run in near 90 degree heat than when it was cooler.  And since I get a form of heat rash when I get too hot, sweating out in the heat can be extremely uncomfortable.  However, I know that even in the heat, running helps me clear my head and prevents episodes like I had on Saturday, so what do I do?

For Monday's run, I decided to take a different route, skipping one of my favorite parts: Murder Hill.  That's what I affectionately call the steepest hill on my normal route at about the halfway point.  Seriously, this thing is ridiculously step, like a 50 degree angle (is that steep? I really don't know).  It's certainly steeper than the hill I grew up on and had to regularly walk up after being dropped off by the bus after school.  So I skipped Murder Hill and you know what?  I missed it.  It takes grit to keep running up a crazy-steep hill and I didn't have that extra challenge.  Weird as it may seem, having that huge obstacle makes the rest of the run easier, even though there are still more hills to climb.

(I feel like there's a metaphor here about big obstacle make smaller obstacles more bearable.)

While I am mostly happy that I maintained my habit of going on my run, I am a bit disappointed that I didn't take my normal route.  When I go for my next run, I'll be sure the take my old route and run up Murder Hill.

Wasted Time

My plan to make it to the temple on Saturday failed again, this time because I had a panic attack that lasted for over two hours.

On Friday, I felt pretty good: work had gone well that week (both in terms of productivity and in terms of positive feedback from my superiors), Samuel had gotten his work visa and had applied for a Social Security Number, and it was payday.  Even my parents commented that I sounded like I was in much better spirits when I spoke with them.  I was feeling good and had a plan in place to keep it that by attending the temple.

Then Saturday happened.  Really it started on Friday with a frozen pizza that I shared with Samuel as congratulations for getting his visa - I don't know why, but frozen pizza seems to trigger anxiety within me.  On Saturday, I got up later than I had planned, which meant that my blood-sugar was low (due to a late breakfast) and I had to eat before I could think clearly.  Instead of eating and immediately getting in the shower, I sat and did some reading.  I continued reading for a couple of hours and before I knew it, it was lunchtime (remember, breakfast was late, so lunch came faster than usual).  After I ate, I was determined to hop in the shower and head to DC.  However, because it was now so late in the day - around two o'clock - I felt anxious about having wasted so much time.  As I stood up to go shower, I started shaking (think of it as a full-body stutter).  I went to my room to shake it out, hoping to be over it soon.  I stayed in my room for a little over two hours.  Now, I wasn't shaking the whole time: I fell asleep a couple of times, but every time I woke up and I tried to get up, the shakes began again.  By the time I came out of my room, it was nearly five o'clock and I had run out of time.  Samuel came home from spending time with the full-time missionaries and needed a ride to a job he does on Saturdays for a member of the ward.

I know what I did wrong this time.  In addition to the previously mentioned bad meal choice for Friday's dinner, I allowed myself to sleep too late on Saturday morning.  I am not a natural morning person, so I often look forward to the weekend as a chance to sleep late.  And while sleeping a little later is appropriate, I over did it and put up an obstacle in my own path.  Also, I didn't immediately shower after eating breakfast.  Showering, for whatever reason, represents productivity to me.  When it's delayed, my anxiety/depression has a chance to take hold.  I was able to force myself to shower on Sunday and I started feeling better almost immediately.

While this weekend was a wasted opportunity, I've discovered what mistakes I made so that I can avoid them in the future, which is some progress.  Also, my lousy weekend doesn't change the fact that I still had a pretty good week.  Let's see if I can do it again and make the progress last beyond five days.

Governmental Surprise!

Apparently this is the week of Samuel.

So I posted on Wednesday that Samuel would have to wait three weeks before being issued his work visa, but apparently the government is so slow that even though he just barely received his notice of approval, his work visa came yesterday.  Not only that but he made arrangements with our Elder's Quorum President to go to the Social Security office tomorrow to have a number assigned.  Not only only that but he has a a job lined up as a dishwasher at a local restaurant and starts next week.

When I found out the news, I gave him a high-five, though he didn't seem to know what that meant.  As someone who has struggled with looking for work and has had to rely on the kindness of others to get by, I can empathize with his plight, but I also know the joy of being able to provide for yourself, even just a little bit.

The next step is to get him in own place and get his family out here.  While his personal journey may have many step still to go, he's made several large strives recently and I'm very happy for him.