I'm a bit sore from my activities this weekend. The activities involved baseball, church, and granola.
On Friday, my office went to watch a professional baseball game during office hours. We watched the local team, the Baltimore Orioles, get spanked by the Tampa Bay Devil Rays. It was fun to hang out with my coworkers in a more relaxed setting and get to enjoy some of the local scene. While at the game, I realized that while I'll probably never follow sports, if I did, I'd follow baseball. The biggest reason is that I knew what was going on the whole time (unlike American Football). In fact, I even explained the game to the five-year-old son of one of my coworkers without needing any help from anyone. I have my Grandma Bonnie to thank for that! Anyway, despite putting on sunscreen, I got sunburned on my arms and right knee (I didn't apply it as well as I thought, apparently).
After the game, I picked up Samuel and we went to help a family in the ward move. We arrived just in time to help carry their piano down the front steps and up the ramp of the moving truck. It's a good thing that we arrived when we did since they only had the help of one other brother from the ward and two neighbors. Six men moving a piano is not very easy but not only did we get it in the truck, we even unloaded it once we got across town. However, even though I exercise regularly, I am still a bit sore from the move, though not in pain.
On Saturday I made granola. I was inspired to do so when I made some oatmeal raisin cookie bars that completely crumbled to pieces when I tried to take them out of the pan. Since granola is mostly oatmeal, I figured it would work out pretty well. I added slivered almonds, chopped pecans, dried mixed berries (cherries, blueberries, and cranberries), and more oatmeal to the bowl of crumbs and mixed everything together. For the binder, I heated up a mixture of honey and canola oil and mixed it into the dry ingredients. Finally, I spread everything out on to two cookie sheets and baked them for an hour and a half at 250, mixing every fifteen minutes. Once it was all nice and brown, I let everything cool down before I transferred it all to a plastic, air-tight container. However, in the process of moving the granola (which is quite tasty, by the way), a hardened grain of oatmeal was shoved under my thumbnail and pushed in. Who knew that cereal could be so painful?!
All in all, it was a fine weekend: one filled with new experiences and service. I should be recovered by Wednesday or so.
Monday, June 30, 2014
Friday, June 27, 2014
A Lesson in Tolerance
When I was a kid, I participated in several theater productions, both backstage and as an actor. The main theater group I was a part of was run by a gay couple, Randy and Doug. However, as a kid, I didn't know that they were a couple or even that they were gay. I just thought that they were a couple of friends who liked theater. I remember that I was still involved with this particular theater company in middle school. It was around then that Ian told me that they were gay and I was shocked. I didn't know that I knew anyone that was gay and here it turned out that I had known a gay couple for a few years.
Why do I bring this up? I was thinking about this experience recently and I was impressed that my parents allowed me and my sibling to participate. This was back in the early-to-mid nineties when the homosexual community was not nearly as accepted as it is today. My parents could have easily not had us be involved with that particular theater company, but instead, they taught us by example that regardless of someone's lifestyle, they are still human beings and deserve respect.
Nowadays, it's easy to get swept up in an argument with each side taking things to the extreme, but it's important to remember that whatever side we fall on, the other side is made up of fellow human beings and they deserve to be treated as such. I'm thankful that my parents had the foresight to show me that when I was a child.
Why do I bring this up? I was thinking about this experience recently and I was impressed that my parents allowed me and my sibling to participate. This was back in the early-to-mid nineties when the homosexual community was not nearly as accepted as it is today. My parents could have easily not had us be involved with that particular theater company, but instead, they taught us by example that regardless of someone's lifestyle, they are still human beings and deserve respect.
Nowadays, it's easy to get swept up in an argument with each side taking things to the extreme, but it's important to remember that whatever side we fall on, the other side is made up of fellow human beings and they deserve to be treated as such. I'm thankful that my parents had the foresight to show me that when I was a child.
Wednesday, June 25, 2014
Invitation
After church on Sunday, the newly called Ward Mission Leader, Mike, came up to me to ask some questions about Samuel - since Samuel is still a new member and is receiving the new member lessons from the full-time missionaries, Samuel falls under Mike's jurisdiction. He didn't know that we were roommates, only that I was Samuel's friend. I updated him on how we ended up sharing an apartment. He seemed genuinely impressed that I would offer Samuel a place to stay when he was having trouble with his previous housing situation.
Then Mike did something surprising. He asked me to go mountain biking with him. I told him that I haven't really done any biking since my mission and that I tend to prefer running these days, but I said that if he had a spare bike for me to use, I'd be happy to go. He does have an extra bike and said that we would need to plan something.
When we parted ways, I couldn't help but think that Mike might be one of the friends that I'm trying to find. Again, it's not like I don't have friends in the ward because I do. It's just that they all have families that they want to spend time with. So does Mike, but he has an activity that he apparently can't do with them and wants buddy to go with him.
Anyway, the point of this is that it got me thinking: maybe I don't need a few close friends that I see a couple times a week (which is the model I'm used to), maybe I need several friends that I only see about once a month and our gatherings are centered around an activity. I don't know, I'm just playing around with the idea right now. However things workout, it's nice to be invited to hang out.
Then Mike did something surprising. He asked me to go mountain biking with him. I told him that I haven't really done any biking since my mission and that I tend to prefer running these days, but I said that if he had a spare bike for me to use, I'd be happy to go. He does have an extra bike and said that we would need to plan something.
When we parted ways, I couldn't help but think that Mike might be one of the friends that I'm trying to find. Again, it's not like I don't have friends in the ward because I do. It's just that they all have families that they want to spend time with. So does Mike, but he has an activity that he apparently can't do with them and wants buddy to go with him.
Anyway, the point of this is that it got me thinking: maybe I don't need a few close friends that I see a couple times a week (which is the model I'm used to), maybe I need several friends that I only see about once a month and our gatherings are centered around an activity. I don't know, I'm just playing around with the idea right now. However things workout, it's nice to be invited to hang out.
Monday, June 23, 2014
Make a Joyful Noise
Yesterday at church, the ward choir performed "Have I Done Any Good" (the same arrangement can be seen here). What was particularly nice was that I was a part of that choir. Even though I've been attending practice for about a month, it was still really nice to perform. It really is a wonderful experience to sing in a group and make harmonies again.
We were a small group - if we had had one more tenor and one fewer soprano, we would have been a triple quartet - but I think we did well. It didn't hurt that the arrangement of the hymn we sang is pretty fun and plays around with the rhythm (most of the song is in 6/8 time but part of it is in 7/9 time). I didn't get too many comments from other members, but Samuel told me that he liked it (he also told me that I stood out since I was the only singer with a mustache).
And! We'll be singing next week, too. As part of the celebration of our nation's independence, we'll be singing "The Star-Spangled Banner," but our director is challenging us by switching our parts around. One of the few songs that I could sing either the melody or the bass part in my sleep but I have to learn the alto part. I genuinely think that's a great idea.
I am pleased to be able to sing and use my talents and skill as a musician to invite the Spirit and have fun, too.
We were a small group - if we had had one more tenor and one fewer soprano, we would have been a triple quartet - but I think we did well. It didn't hurt that the arrangement of the hymn we sang is pretty fun and plays around with the rhythm (most of the song is in 6/8 time but part of it is in 7/9 time). I didn't get too many comments from other members, but Samuel told me that he liked it (he also told me that I stood out since I was the only singer with a mustache).
And! We'll be singing next week, too. As part of the celebration of our nation's independence, we'll be singing "The Star-Spangled Banner," but our director is challenging us by switching our parts around. One of the few songs that I could sing either the melody or the bass part in my sleep but I have to learn the alto part. I genuinely think that's a great idea.
I am pleased to be able to sing and use my talents and skill as a musician to invite the Spirit and have fun, too.
Wednesday, June 18, 2014
New Route
Now that Summer weather is upon us, running outside is getting harder. Even when I take extra care to be hydrated, it's still a lot harder to run in near 90 degree heat than when it was cooler. And since I get a form of heat rash when I get too hot, sweating out in the heat can be extremely uncomfortable. However, I know that even in the heat, running helps me clear my head and prevents episodes like I had on Saturday, so what do I do?
For Monday's run, I decided to take a different route, skipping one of my favorite parts: Murder Hill. That's what I affectionately call the steepest hill on my normal route at about the halfway point. Seriously, this thing is ridiculously step, like a 50 degree angle (is that steep? I really don't know). It's certainly steeper than the hill I grew up on and had to regularly walk up after being dropped off by the bus after school. So I skipped Murder Hill and you know what? I missed it. It takes grit to keep running up a crazy-steep hill and I didn't have that extra challenge. Weird as it may seem, having that huge obstacle makes the rest of the run easier, even though there are still more hills to climb.
(I feel like there's a metaphor here about big obstacle make smaller obstacles more bearable.)
While I am mostly happy that I maintained my habit of going on my run, I am a bit disappointed that I didn't take my normal route. When I go for my next run, I'll be sure the take my old route and run up Murder Hill.
For Monday's run, I decided to take a different route, skipping one of my favorite parts: Murder Hill. That's what I affectionately call the steepest hill on my normal route at about the halfway point. Seriously, this thing is ridiculously step, like a 50 degree angle (is that steep? I really don't know). It's certainly steeper than the hill I grew up on and had to regularly walk up after being dropped off by the bus after school. So I skipped Murder Hill and you know what? I missed it. It takes grit to keep running up a crazy-steep hill and I didn't have that extra challenge. Weird as it may seem, having that huge obstacle makes the rest of the run easier, even though there are still more hills to climb.
(I feel like there's a metaphor here about big obstacle make smaller obstacles more bearable.)
While I am mostly happy that I maintained my habit of going on my run, I am a bit disappointed that I didn't take my normal route. When I go for my next run, I'll be sure the take my old route and run up Murder Hill.
Monday, June 16, 2014
Wasted Time
My plan to make it to the temple on Saturday failed again, this time because I had a panic attack that lasted for over two hours.
On Friday, I felt pretty good: work had gone well that week (both in terms of productivity and in terms of positive feedback from my superiors), Samuel had gotten his work visa and had applied for a Social Security Number, and it was payday. Even my parents commented that I sounded like I was in much better spirits when I spoke with them. I was feeling good and had a plan in place to keep it that by attending the temple.
Then Saturday happened. Really it started on Friday with a frozen pizza that I shared with Samuel as congratulations for getting his visa - I don't know why, but frozen pizza seems to trigger anxiety within me. On Saturday, I got up later than I had planned, which meant that my blood-sugar was low (due to a late breakfast) and I had to eat before I could think clearly. Instead of eating and immediately getting in the shower, I sat and did some reading. I continued reading for a couple of hours and before I knew it, it was lunchtime (remember, breakfast was late, so lunch came faster than usual). After I ate, I was determined to hop in the shower and head to DC. However, because it was now so late in the day - around two o'clock - I felt anxious about having wasted so much time. As I stood up to go shower, I started shaking (think of it as a full-body stutter). I went to my room to shake it out, hoping to be over it soon. I stayed in my room for a little over two hours. Now, I wasn't shaking the whole time: I fell asleep a couple of times, but every time I woke up and I tried to get up, the shakes began again. By the time I came out of my room, it was nearly five o'clock and I had run out of time. Samuel came home from spending time with the full-time missionaries and needed a ride to a job he does on Saturdays for a member of the ward.
I know what I did wrong this time. In addition to the previously mentioned bad meal choice for Friday's dinner, I allowed myself to sleep too late on Saturday morning. I am not a natural morning person, so I often look forward to the weekend as a chance to sleep late. And while sleeping a little later is appropriate, I over did it and put up an obstacle in my own path. Also, I didn't immediately shower after eating breakfast. Showering, for whatever reason, represents productivity to me. When it's delayed, my anxiety/depression has a chance to take hold. I was able to force myself to shower on Sunday and I started feeling better almost immediately.
While this weekend was a wasted opportunity, I've discovered what mistakes I made so that I can avoid them in the future, which is some progress. Also, my lousy weekend doesn't change the fact that I still had a pretty good week. Let's see if I can do it again and make the progress last beyond five days.
On Friday, I felt pretty good: work had gone well that week (both in terms of productivity and in terms of positive feedback from my superiors), Samuel had gotten his work visa and had applied for a Social Security Number, and it was payday. Even my parents commented that I sounded like I was in much better spirits when I spoke with them. I was feeling good and had a plan in place to keep it that by attending the temple.
Then Saturday happened. Really it started on Friday with a frozen pizza that I shared with Samuel as congratulations for getting his visa - I don't know why, but frozen pizza seems to trigger anxiety within me. On Saturday, I got up later than I had planned, which meant that my blood-sugar was low (due to a late breakfast) and I had to eat before I could think clearly. Instead of eating and immediately getting in the shower, I sat and did some reading. I continued reading for a couple of hours and before I knew it, it was lunchtime (remember, breakfast was late, so lunch came faster than usual). After I ate, I was determined to hop in the shower and head to DC. However, because it was now so late in the day - around two o'clock - I felt anxious about having wasted so much time. As I stood up to go shower, I started shaking (think of it as a full-body stutter). I went to my room to shake it out, hoping to be over it soon. I stayed in my room for a little over two hours. Now, I wasn't shaking the whole time: I fell asleep a couple of times, but every time I woke up and I tried to get up, the shakes began again. By the time I came out of my room, it was nearly five o'clock and I had run out of time. Samuel came home from spending time with the full-time missionaries and needed a ride to a job he does on Saturdays for a member of the ward.
I know what I did wrong this time. In addition to the previously mentioned bad meal choice for Friday's dinner, I allowed myself to sleep too late on Saturday morning. I am not a natural morning person, so I often look forward to the weekend as a chance to sleep late. And while sleeping a little later is appropriate, I over did it and put up an obstacle in my own path. Also, I didn't immediately shower after eating breakfast. Showering, for whatever reason, represents productivity to me. When it's delayed, my anxiety/depression has a chance to take hold. I was able to force myself to shower on Sunday and I started feeling better almost immediately.
While this weekend was a wasted opportunity, I've discovered what mistakes I made so that I can avoid them in the future, which is some progress. Also, my lousy weekend doesn't change the fact that I still had a pretty good week. Let's see if I can do it again and make the progress last beyond five days.
Friday, June 13, 2014
Governmental Surprise!
Apparently this is the week of Samuel.
So I posted on Wednesday that Samuel would have to wait three weeks before being issued his work visa, but apparently the government is so slow that even though he just barely received his notice of approval, his work visa came yesterday. Not only that but he made arrangements with our Elder's Quorum President to go to the Social Security office tomorrow to have a number assigned. Not only only that but he has a a job lined up as a dishwasher at a local restaurant and starts next week.
When I found out the news, I gave him a high-five, though he didn't seem to know what that meant. As someone who has struggled with looking for work and has had to rely on the kindness of others to get by, I can empathize with his plight, but I also know the joy of being able to provide for yourself, even just a little bit.
The next step is to get him in own place and get his family out here. While his personal journey may have many step still to go, he's made several large strives recently and I'm very happy for him.
So I posted on Wednesday that Samuel would have to wait three weeks before being issued his work visa, but apparently the government is so slow that even though he just barely received his notice of approval, his work visa came yesterday. Not only that but he made arrangements with our Elder's Quorum President to go to the Social Security office tomorrow to have a number assigned. Not only only that but he has a a job lined up as a dishwasher at a local restaurant and starts next week.
When I found out the news, I gave him a high-five, though he didn't seem to know what that meant. As someone who has struggled with looking for work and has had to rely on the kindness of others to get by, I can empathize with his plight, but I also know the joy of being able to provide for yourself, even just a little bit.
The next step is to get him in own place and get his family out here. While his personal journey may have many step still to go, he's made several large strives recently and I'm very happy for him.
Wednesday, June 11, 2014
Approved
I know that I just wrote about Samuel for the last post, but he has some really big news: his work visa has been approved! When he told me yesterday evening after I got home from work, he was beside himself with excitement, as well he should be. I gave him a high-five in celebration (which I suspect was his first high-five ever).
Now, the waiting isn't over yet. He still has to wait another three weeks before he actually has his visa and then he has use that to get a Social Security number, but the approval has been issued.
I am very happy to see him progress forward in being able to support himself. With his work ethic, I'm sure he'll be working multiple jobs as soon as he is able.
Now, the waiting isn't over yet. He still has to wait another three weeks before he actually has his visa and then he has use that to get a Social Security number, but the approval has been issued.
I am very happy to see him progress forward in being able to support himself. With his work ethic, I'm sure he'll be working multiple jobs as soon as he is able.
Monday, June 9, 2014
Living Happily
On Saturday, I took Samuel to the Bishop's storehouse to collect his allotment for the current fortnight. On the way, he brought up how happy he was to be a member of the Church. He wasn't talking about how he was receiving assistance for his physical needs (though that is certainly the case); rather, he was talking about how friendly everyone has been and how he has learned so much about the gospel since moving to the area.
Now remember, Samuel has no job, is not currently allowed to work, and has been separated from his family for over three years. Yet, he described himself as happy. It reminded me of Nephi's words that I wrote about last year: "we lived after the manner of happiness."
Even during trying times, if we turn to the Lord and his gospel, we can find happiness. It was good to be reminded of that from someone who is facing even greater challenges than me.
Now remember, Samuel has no job, is not currently allowed to work, and has been separated from his family for over three years. Yet, he described himself as happy. It reminded me of Nephi's words that I wrote about last year: "we lived after the manner of happiness."
Even during trying times, if we turn to the Lord and his gospel, we can find happiness. It was good to be reminded of that from someone who is facing even greater challenges than me.
Wednesday, June 4, 2014
Status Update: Lonely
I talked with my doctor about the possibility that I have depression. After going over my family history and recent personal experiences, he agreed that I probably was facing something more than just sadness. He also pointed out that because I haven't missed work due to this condition, it's still somewhat manageable. When we got to the subject of medication, he said that while we could start me off on something small, he recommended that I take some time to see what my other options are and then meet him again in a month to reassess the situation. I liked that idea, so I made the appointment and went home.
This is what I've come up with: I need some friends. Let me be more specific: I need friends that I can hang out with pretty regularly. I need to hang out. I have a few friends from church that I get along with really well, but they all have kids. That's not a bad thing but it means that they're always busy with their families, as they should be. And before anyone asks, Samuel's fine, but we have so little in common due to us coming from different cultures; he's a good guy but it's not super relaxing hanging out with him, you know? And while I do keep in touch with various friends and families via phone calls, I need some face-to-face interactions. I do get those at work and church, but I need some purely social exchanges.
Here's a problem, though: where do I meet people? Do I join a running enthusiast's club and is that even a thing? Do I try LARPing? Do I finally sign-up on the Facebook? I'm really not sure where a man in his early thirties goes to meet people to hang out with. I know that I tend to do better in structured environments, which is why I was thinking of activity-based groups. I also thought about crashing Single Adult activities that the Stake puts on but that kind of feels like cheating, me showing up wearing a wedding band.
Please, dear reader, leave a comment with your suggestions on where I should look to find people who are about my age with whom I may share similar interests.
This is what I've come up with: I need some friends. Let me be more specific: I need friends that I can hang out with pretty regularly. I need to hang out. I have a few friends from church that I get along with really well, but they all have kids. That's not a bad thing but it means that they're always busy with their families, as they should be. And before anyone asks, Samuel's fine, but we have so little in common due to us coming from different cultures; he's a good guy but it's not super relaxing hanging out with him, you know? And while I do keep in touch with various friends and families via phone calls, I need some face-to-face interactions. I do get those at work and church, but I need some purely social exchanges.
Here's a problem, though: where do I meet people? Do I join a running enthusiast's club and is that even a thing? Do I try LARPing? Do I finally sign-up on the Facebook? I'm really not sure where a man in his early thirties goes to meet people to hang out with. I know that I tend to do better in structured environments, which is why I was thinking of activity-based groups. I also thought about crashing Single Adult activities that the Stake puts on but that kind of feels like cheating, me showing up wearing a wedding band.
Please, dear reader, leave a comment with your suggestions on where I should look to find people who are about my age with whom I may share similar interests.
Monday, June 2, 2014
Weekend of Failure
So that trip to the Temple that I was planning to make on Saturday? Didn't happen. I woke up on Saturday and discovered that I had a tremendous headache and I was really dizzy. It was so bad that I had trouble standing without falling over. I'm sure to any outside observer that it looked like I was on a boat or something. Because of this, I didn't go to the temple and mostly tried to nap.
On Sunday, I felt much better. I was looking forward to Church after missing it last week and not making it to the temple the day before. However, after I had gotten out of the shower and was finishing getting ready, I had an aphasia. I had missed my medication the day before - I simply forgot - and apparently it made a big difference. Once I could talk, I called the Sunday School President to explain what had happened and that I wouldn't be coming. He was very understanding, but I hate that this has been happening off and on since I was called to be a teacher.
I realize that my body shutting down is out of my control, but I can't help but feel that the last two days were wasted. Here's hoping that next weekend will go better.
On Sunday, I felt much better. I was looking forward to Church after missing it last week and not making it to the temple the day before. However, after I had gotten out of the shower and was finishing getting ready, I had an aphasia. I had missed my medication the day before - I simply forgot - and apparently it made a big difference. Once I could talk, I called the Sunday School President to explain what had happened and that I wouldn't be coming. He was very understanding, but I hate that this has been happening off and on since I was called to be a teacher.
I realize that my body shutting down is out of my control, but I can't help but feel that the last two days were wasted. Here's hoping that next weekend will go better.
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