Contact

The following is the newly declassified transcript of the US government's first and only known encounter with extra-terrestrial life.

DATE: 14 June 1947, 0921
LOCATION: Outside of Roswell Army Airfield (RAAF)

CAPT [redacted]: Base, this is Capt [redacted]. Over.

RAAF: [redacted], this is Base. We copy. Over.

CAPT [redacted]: I'm picking up some weird fluctuations on my radio. Any idea what it might be? Over.

RAAF: What kind of fluctuations? Over.

CAPT [redacted]: Well, it sounds like woman's voice softly repeating a word again and again. Over.

RAAF: You're probably just picking up another channel. Over.

CAPT [redacted]: I thought that, but it's coming in over multiple channels. Plus, it's coming in clearer than your signal. Over.

RAAF: Are you hearing it now on this channel? Over.

CAPT [redacted]: Affirmative. Over.

RAAF: Well, what's the lady saying? Over.

CAPT [redacted]: Uh, I wouldn't call her a lady. She keeps saying [redacted]. Over.

RAAF: You're kidding me. Over.

CAPT [redacted]: [Laughs] That's a big negative. I told you, I can hear her clearer than I can hear you. Over.

RAAF: I'd tell you to ignore it but if the signal is strong enough to be heard loud and clear over multiple channels then it could compromise our communications. See if you contact her back and tell her get off her radio and clean up that mouth of hers. Over.

CAPT [redacted]: Roger. I'll switch to an empty channel to initiate contact, leaving this channel open for normal comm. Over.

[2.35 MINUTES PASS]

CAPT [redacted]: Base, do you copy? Over.

RAAF: This is base. I copy. Over.

CAPT [redacted]: I contacted the woman on the radio as advised. She responded but she said that she lost track of a probe and asked if I had seen it. I really have no idea how to respond. Over.

RAAF: She said that she lost a probe? Ask her to describe it. Over.

CAPT [redacted]: Roger. Over.

[0.55 MINUTES PASS]

CAPT [redacted]: She described the probe as disk shaped and bright silver. She said it should be flying in the area. Can we make her cut this non-sense out? Over.

RAAF: [redacted], you said that she said there should be a flying disc in the area? Can you confirm? Over.

CAPT [redacted]: Affirmative, but what does it matter? It's all hogwash. Over.

RAAF: Capt [redacted], we have unconfirmed reports in the area of a, quote, "unidentified flying object" that's been described as, quote, "saucer-shaped." Is this woman claiming responsibility for it? Over.

CAPT [redacted]: Uh, I think so. Base, what's going on? Over.

RAAF: Too soon to say. Contact her again, but stay on this channel this time. Ask her to increase her signal so that we can pick it up here. Over.

CAPT [redacted]: Roger. Contacting, eh, the unknown woman on the radio. Please increase signal strength of radio broadcast.

UNKNOWN: Is this better?

CAPT [redacted]: Base, did you hear that one? Over.

RAAF: Affirmative, [redacted]. Over.

CAPT [redacted]: Yes, we hear you. How did you know about the aircraft that was spotted today? Over.

UNKNOWN: I told you, it's my probe. So you've found it?

CAPT [redacted]: Please explain the purpose of the probe. Over.

UNKNOWN: I sent the probe down to gather information, but I lost contact with it. I think I forgot to charge the battery. I do that sometimes. I was able to get enough data to plug into my translator. That's how we're able to communicate. But you've found my probe?

CAPT [redacted]: I don't know. What do you mean, "translator?" You a Jap? Over.

UNKNOWN: No, I'm a Xendarian. I'm from a planet similar to yours but my star is a bit larger. I was sent on a peaceful mission to see if your people are interested in interstellar travel.

CAPT [redacted]: Get serious. You expect me to believe you're an alien? Over.

UNKNOWN: Tell me Capt [redacted], how can I have superior radio equipment to you? Also, your people on the ground didn't detect any unaccounted for aircraft in the area and yet my probe was clearly seen. Either I'm from a planet more advanced than yours or I'm using secret technology to play games with you. And before you ask if I'm hostile, if I'm as advanced as I say, you'd already be dead if I wanted you to be. I will be happy to land my ship and explain everything, I simply want to retrieve my probe first.

RAAF: This is the Roswell Army Airfield. We have collected the probe but it suffered heavy damage in a crash. It's mostly wreckage. Over.

UNKNOWN: [Sighs] That's disappointing. Well, I'll still collect what's left. I'll let you know when I'm ready to land.

CAPT [redacted]: This is all so strange. I must ask, why did you keep repeating that obscenity earlier? Over.

UNKNOWN: What do you mean? I was using inappropriate language?

CAPT [redacted]: You kept saying [redacted]. Over.

UNKNOWN: Yes, that's my name. I don't like having my translator find an equivalent in your language. I had tried to contact my probe with all of my other communications equipment but that didn't work so I tried calling out my name on different radio frequencies. Every Xendarian probe is programed to return when it hears its owners voice call his or her own name.

CAPT [redacted]: Your name is [redacted]? Over.

UNKNOWN: Yes. I've always liked it. What does it mean in your language? I haven't had a chance to look it up yet.

CAPT [redacted]: It means [redacted]. Over.

UNKNOWN: That's disgusting! How could you twist around such a nice name into THAT! You know what? Forget it. I'll mark you down as uninterested in our services. You don't deserve our tech. I'm out of here. Keep the probe for all I care.

CAPT [redacted]: Hello? [redacted], do you copy? Over.

RAAF: Her signal's gone dead. Over.

CAPT [redacted]: Base, what just happened? Over.

RAAF: I have no idea. No way General [redacted]'s going to believe this. Over.

CAPT [redacted]: I don't believe it and I was here! Do you think this one's going to be classified, just to cover up how weird this whole thing was, like with [redacted]? Over.

RAAF: Probably. Now head back to base. I have a feeling we'll need to debrief. Over.

CAPT [redacted]: Roger wilco. Over and out.

END OF TRANSCRIPT