Remember last year when I had a panic attack at church that was triggered by rowdy children? That was certainly a low point for me, but it's a good reference point for what happened yesterday.
Stake Conference was held this weekend. Anticipating all of the people that would be there Sunday morning, I arrived twenty minutes early so as to get a good seat. I hadn't taken into account all of the people saving seats in the pews, so I was relegated to the overflow, though I was still near the front. Once the meeting began, the family in front of me started having trouble with their young child. I did think a few times that either the mother or father needed to take the kid to one of the two "crying rooms" that had be designated, but I was only ever mildly annoyed, never anxious. Plus, there was someone sitting behind me that kept bumping my seat. I shot a half-glance behind a couple of times, but I never said anything or even made eye contact with the seat-bumper. I just sat there, listening to the talks.
While the experience wasn't as enjoyable as it could have been, I'm glad to recognize that I'm now much more in control of my emotional state than I was eighteen months ago. "Not breaking down into a panicking mess" may not be the biggest victory, but it's one of which I'm proud.
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