On Monday, at about 3:30 in the afternoon, with about ninety minutes left in the work day, I had an aphasic episode. I've had episodes like this plenty of times before, but this time I was medicated and I wasn't in the middle of transitioning to a new medication.
When it hit me, I was listening to a podcast and immediately lost the ability to understand anything that was said (I recognized all the words as English, but I had no idea what any of it meant). I also felt exhausted and struggled to stay awake -- not that it mattered since I wasn't able to read or write while I was in the throws of the episode. After about twenty minutes, I was able understand what I was listening to, but I was still exhausted and couldn't concentrate. After about five minutes of futilely trying to be productive, I stood up and walked over to the desk of my boss, Magda.
She was talking with one of my coworkers, Chelsea, so I waited for a break in the conversation before speaking up. Before I had the chance to interject, Magda looked up and asked what was wrong (apparently, the feeling of extreme exhaustion was all over my face). I explained what happened, describing aphasia as a kind of micro-seizure, and said I needed to go home. She was completely understanding and Chelsea offered to drive me, which I declined -- I've had aphasic episodes while driving before and never blacked out, so I figured I was fine.
As I drove home, I talked to Leah on the phone. She also expressed concern about me driving while in my fatigued state, but I assured her I was fine. Almost on cue, I felt another aphasic episode begin before evaporating (I can feel them just before they hit, though sometimes they pass). She told me I was lucky and that I should have accepted Chelsea's offer for a ride.
The next morning, I woke up and felt sick. It felt like I had the flu and I was physically weak. I worked from home, though I was not terribly productive. Thankfully, I felt better this morning and was able to put in a full day at the office.
After talking about what happened with my neurologist, she recommended increasing my medication dosage. We increased the dosage for a few weeks last year when I first transitioned onto oxcarbazepine and it made me really drowsy. My neurologist thinks that this time I'll handle it better since my body has acclimated to the medication, but if I feel overwhelmingly tired like I did before, she has a supplemental medication in mind that we can try. For now, we're going to wait and see if simply increasing the dosage will be sufficient.
Perhaps I was foolish to think that my epilepsy problem was solved since it was under control. Maybe my life will be segmented by periods of being in control, punctuated by times when I have to look for new solutions. While I'd rather not have to worry about my epilepsy, it's under control for now and we have a possible remedy lined up if I start to show symptoms again, so things are still pretty good.
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