Professional Review

About a month ago I found out about an upcoming change to Danfoss' policy for managers to review their subordinates annually.  This was especially a shock for me since I never knew about the original policy.  Apparently, my last boss never set up my goals with me, despite this being one of her specific responsibilities.  Instead, some time after she left and my new boss, Magda, started, the head of marketing in Denmark assigned some, I assume, arbitrary goals for me.

When I discovered that I was supposed to have goals assigned, I freaked out a little.  I talked to Ernie, a manager with whom I've collaborated on multiple projects, and he offered to help me out.  He gave me some documents to fill out and agreed to talk to Magda to help with the review process.  After a trip to the Temple where it was confirmed that I should team up with Ernie, I started to relax.

Then I went on vacation.  I still haven't completely gotten back into my normal routine yet, and I've only worked out once in the past three weeks.  As I've written about before, exercise is a way for me to control my anxiety.  The combination of not using one of my prime coping mechanisms and the fear about the future of my job meant that I've been really stressed out for the past couple of weeks: I've had a couple of panic attacks and I even had the same nightmare on two different occasions, something that I don't think has ever happened before.

Yesterday was my annual review.

I had prepared the documents that both Magda and Ernie had sent me and I felt ready, but I was still nervous.  I said a prayer that things would go well; I felt assured that it would be fine, but I couldn't calm down.  In the meeting, Magda had several questions about not only I had completed this last year, but what I had been expected to do.  Thankfully, Ernie really talked up my accomplishments and expressed his appreciation for the work I had done.  Magda kept saying that I had "exceeded expectations" while she was writing notes to herself.  Apparently, I had nothing to worry about!  And, to make sure we don't have this problem next year, Magda is planning to meet with me next month to discuss my short- and long-term goals and how we can make them work for Danfoss.  I guess that means I'll need to figure out some goals beyond "do a good job."

Looking back, I was never in danger of losing my job, but I was still nervous because I was ill-prepared, something that I do my best to avoid with regards to my job.  I'm glad that this review is behind me and all signs point to it having gone well.  Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go exercise.