10 things about me that may be surprising . . .

1. I'm taking 15 units next semester (really 20, since my internship only counts for 3), yet I've started seriously thinking about applying to be a columnist at the school paper. That probably means I'm partially insane. Allison's been supportive, which may mean that she is, too.
2. I've been to therapy twice in my life. The first time to deal with a powerfully controlling addiction. The second time to deal with nearly debilitating anxiety. Both times helped quite a bit (the second time happened this semester).
3. On the weekends, I sometimes play a video game called Fate.
4. I've been lectured multiple times at work that I need to be nicer to my co-workers. Allison thinks that's stupid. Even so, I'm up for a promotion (finally!).
5. I haven't read a single novel for fun this whole semester. That's been tough.
6. I'm a jerk pretty much every time I have to deal with customer service in any way. It gets in the way most time, but sometimes Allison sics me on particularly difficult workers. I really don't know why I do it.
7. I own a belt that I bought on my mission that was made by an Amish tanner. It's really good quality and I like it, but it doesn't work anymore. Since dropping six inches from my waist, I should just add holes, but I never have.
8. I've only recently gotten over being embarrassed by my undersized calves. I still think they're small, but I've made good progress on them.
9. When I was in California, I felt that I was conservative. Here in Oklahoma, I feel that I'm much more liberal. My political views haven't shifted much.
10. I own more shoes now than I ever have. Seven pairs.

What were you surprised by?

An Open Letter to Pixar

Dear Pixar,

I really like your movies. I remember watching Toy Story when it was in theaters with my family. I liked Monsters, Inc. so much that I saw it twice in theaters (a rarity for me). I enjoyed The Incredibles so much that I bought it (I own about 7 DVDs). And Wall-E shows what can be done with a minimum of dialogue and Ratatouille was such a simple story that was told very well. I have fond memories of nearly all of your films.

Nearly. Up was a mess. You captured our hearts in the first five minutes of the film and before the story had even started, I felt a deep connection with the protagonist. That's amazing storytelling. But when you get down to the main plot, things go south. I'm guessing you wanted to be sure that the story was intense enough for young boys (I assume that was the target demographic) stayed interested in a story about an old man, but you don't let the audience breathe. The story ends without any real catharsis and feels like the story ran out. I'm not suggesting that your characters should not face peril, but it should be properly balanced with the humor and heart that made your earlier films so great.

Toy Story 3 went even further. You didn't have work to make a connection with the audience because we already knew all the characters. Unfortunately, when you decided to show how much peril the characters could face, you really pushed the envelope. Who approved the rating for this film? How did it manage to get a G rating? The climatic scene has the main characters joining hands and accept their fiery doom as they slowly descend into the bowls of an incinerator. Yes, they're saved at the last moment, but how could that have been intended for kids?

Pixar, I'm not asking you to stop making films. I still respect what you do, but, please, stop breaking my heart.

Yours,

Jordan

With Great Facial Hair Comes Great Responsibility

Clearly, I have great responsibilities ...

... because this is one great beard.

Pleasant Accident

So, Sunday is Laundry day in our home. It's also the day that I call various members of the family and do my best to keep in touch. Because I'm such a popular fellow, I try to rotate from week to week who I call. Since I called Oceanside last week, I called Utah.

No answer.

So I called Hawaii.

No answer (which is to be expected, what with Baby Henry being hospitalized).

So, I called Oceanside again. Isaac picked up. I was surprised because I was expecting to talk to Mom and Dad, but I'm not against speaking to my baby brother.

The conversation was led by the boy and it was definitely focused on the gospel, but I must say, it was what I needed. It's no secret that life is not always easy and right now there are extra struggles that Allison and I are facing, so having a gospel-based conversation was really uplifting.

But that's not all. Isaac and I haven't always had the best relationship. To put it bluntly, I beat him up a lot when we were younger. I mentioned this at one point during the conversation and apologized for the way that I had treated him. He has every right to hold that against me, but his response was a simple, "You know I love you, right?" It was humbling and I have to say that I'm surprised at the great guy he's grown into. I was happy that I called and that we had the chance to better get to know each other.

So, two posts in a row about how I have awesome family members. Will you be next?

Profile: Dad

So, I interviewed Dad for an assignment for one of my classes. I was supposed to interview someone in the profession that I plan on entering, so interviewing the man that inspired me to be a writer was the best fit. It was interesting and fun, but there were things I didn't know. I thought I'd share them.

• Dad got his first job as a tech writer before he had even completed his Bachelor's degree. It was only by about two months, but the man at Burrows was so impressed that not having a degree wasn't enough of a setback.
• Part of the reason Dad was so impressive was that he had worked with computers, which made him like a sort of wizard. Seriously, this is the era of punch card programming, so the fact that he was excited to work with computers made him a desirable employee.
• In college, he produced a pamphlet on improving one's interviewing skills and tried to market it to nearby employment agencies (sadly, no one was interested).
• While the writing was fun, the deadlines weren't. He didn't say this, but I got the impression that since he was recognized as a skilled writer (even won awards for the work that he produced), he was given more work.
• His past work as a tech writer has uniquely prepared him for language pathology (he understands language, he knows how to draw information out of someone, he knows how to use words or illustrations to his best advantage, he understands the importance of the order in which to present information, etc.).
• As a technical writer, he never got credit for what he wrote (I've got to admit, I took that one hard. I should have realized that that was the case, but it was humbling. You have to work hard and make something as clear as possible and in the end, the only thing it says is the company's name).
• He compared technical writers to artisans and creative writers to artists. In that sense, it can be art, but it has to be useful first.

So, those are some things that I didn't know about (but probably should have) about the single person who has had the biggest impact on my own writing and communication style (Allison said that Dad and I speak in the same rhythm). Did anybody else learns something here?

Swears

At work, when things don't go my way or I'm annoyed at something, sometimes I swear. But while my coworkers might say [expletive] or [expletive], I keep things a bit less explicit. In fact, sometimes I'm teased because of the words I use as swears. I thought I'd share some.

• Crap-in-a-hat (this is used when "crap" won't suffice)
• Crapola (slightly less emphatic then the above swear)
  
• Dagnabit
• Great Googily Moogily
• Poot
• Harupmh

If anyone has any more fun (family friendly) swears, leave them in the comments.

Taking the good with the bad.

First off, thanks to everyone that fasted this last Sunday. While Allison hasn't found work yet, I'm still confident that it will happen shortly. She has been applying to everywhere in town and I've even been asking around at work if anyone knows of any openings (which did give us some new leads). It's important to not give up.

The Lord has blessed us in a different way. I've made more money this week than I have in a long, long time. That's significant. I work hard, but I also have faith that the Lord will bless me with what we need. A while ago, Allison figured out what I needed to make every day for us to get by. I nearly always make that (which is an increase from when Allison was working).

However, with the additional funds come other challenges. Our SNAP benefits (food stamps) have been revoked. It's really silly because the reason cited was that I make too much money. Since Allison is a full-time student, she's required to work 20 hours a week to qualify for benefits. That's fine, but it also means that I'm the only one on the application. So, I make too much money for one person, but I'm making money for two. This is really frustrating and an additional reason why we need Allison to find work.

I'm doing my best to be patient, and for the most part I am, but I'm still nervous. I know that the fast that so many people participated in has not been ignored by the Lord, but I don't know how much longer we have to wait. Like I said, I'm confident that because of the fast, Allison will soon find work, but . . . will "soon" be soon enough? I pray daily that it will be.

Flossing, The power of

Oral hygiene is important to me, but let's face it: flossing sucks. I mean it's important and everything, but man is it annoying. With the other steps of cleaning my mouth, there are fewer steps. Like brushing my tongue requires only picking up the brush and applying it to my tongue. Similarly with teeth brushing, though the application of paste is required. But flossing, man, it's like its own little process. You've got to pull the floss out, you've got to wrap it around your hand, you've got to get all up in to your grill and wiggle it all about. (Show of hands: who's tired just reading that?)

Here's the thing, though. If I actually floss, I work harder on brushing. My mouth feels cleaner if I floss, but only indirectly so. Maybe it's all the effort of getting all up in there for one step that pushes me to just continue to be all up in there (last time I'll use the phrase "all up in there" this post, promise).

In an attempt to floss more, I bought some floss picks. You know what? It really is easier to floss with picks and I've been flossing every night for over a week now, which means that the rest of my mouth is cleaner, also.

So I guess that means that Allison and I should have corn on the cob for dinner soon. You know, to put flossing to the test. Updates to follow?

Group Math

I've decided that as a waiter, I'd rather have 3 tables with 2 people each than 1 table with 6 people. While it's the same table and would be roughly the same amount of money, there's a threshold for how many people can be present before the ability to do math decreases dramatically. Generally, smaller tables will tip higher than 15%, likely because they aren't interested in figuring out the math and just put down a couple bucks per person. However, if the group exceeds 4 people, I can pretty much count on not getting a good tip. Sometimes I'm proven wrong, but more often than not I won't even get 10% on bigger tables.

But this is just an underlying factor of group situations as a whole. If I'm having talking to someone about politics, it's usually very civil and we can express ourselves honestly without bickering or name-calling. Once we get to larger groups, suddenly all liberals are baby-killing hippies and all conservatives are Bible-thumping rednecks. It's a shame we can't keep the social dynamic of small groups in the larger settings.

The problem is anonymity. With a group, while it's made up of people, it's easy to label "them" as one thing and stop thinking. And it's not just about other groups. People within the group are faceless in a way simply by being in the group. How many times have you been at church and seen someone you only vaguely recognize? And that's at one of the more intimate group settings. I'm not saying that we should know everyone everywhere. Not only would that be incredibly difficult, being lost in the background is okay at times. One thing I miss about Southern California is the acceptance of anonymity, whereas here people feel that they need to get to know everyone. Well, not everyone, but a lot more than I'm used to.

What's my point? I guess just that groups make people stupid. No, that's wrong. Groups can make people stupid. Being part of a group without losing track of who you are can be tough, but it's so important.

So the next time you go out to eat with a group of people and realize the tip is smaller than it should be, don't be stupid.

Bad Music

Have you ever enjoyed something that was mostly good? Mostly likely, since there's little that's perfect in the world. But how mostly good does it have to be to counter-balance the slightly bad? Or, to put it another way, how many swears do there need to be in a song before you quit listening to it?

For me, I've gone through this with a few bands:

• Cake's cover of "I Will Survive"
  "I should've change my [expletive] lock
  I should've made you leave your key"
• Queens of the Stone Age's "Quick and to the Pointless"
  "Oh, baby, baby, please
  [expletive], [grunt]!
• Flobots' "Combat"
  "To get you to bomb back
  Two fisted contact to
  Get the pond packed
  Cause I'm on some [expletive] that exists beyond that"

You get the idea (by the way, I don't listen to those songs anymore). Further, what does a song (or band, even) have to say to be offensive enough to push you away? There's the Spoon song "Jonathan Fisk" where, seemingly randomly, right in the middle of the song, there are the lines, "Religion don't mean a thing / Just another way to right wing." I get that they're frustrated with right wingers using religion as justification for political choices, but the rest of the song is about a bully (Jonathan) that followed the singer home after school. It's just so weird because the offending lines don't fit with the song. I don't like the message of John Lennon's "Imagine," (so I don't listen to it) but at least it's the whole song that pushes the message.

What am I getting at? Swears or other things that are offensive can sometimes be overlooked if they are small enough and the song is good enough. But sometimes the good can't outweigh the bad.