Don't Be Selfish

I recently received one of the best compliments I've ever had. Allison read something that I had written and told me that I'm a good writer. I've heard that before, but what was different this time was that she told me that I have a gift and that if I didn't use it, I would be selfish by not sharing it. I was touched. Since then, I realized that for the first time in my life, I'm excited that I'm dedicating my life to writing. I've always enjoyed writing and for a while now I've realized that I'm good at it, but now I'm excited to write. Good thing, too, because I don't want to be selfish.

Secrets from a cookie snob

I am a total cookie snob. This week was finals and there were some ladies (I'm guessing mom's of some of the students) were just handing out chocolate chip cookies. I took some, of course, and within the first bite I knew that they had used vegetable shortening. I've trained my pallet to be able to tell the difference, but that's not all. So, here I will share some secrets to make your cookies better.

• Use butter. Seriously, your cookies will be denser and more flavorful if you use butter instead of shortening.
• Use only 3 parts semi-sweet, 1 part milk. I'm referring to chocolate chips. If you use this combination, for some reason, the chocolate flavor will be kicked up a notch.
• Use Old Fashioned Rolled Oats. If your recipe calls for oatmeal, please throw out the quick oats. Rolled oats will make your cookies chewier and tastier.
• Not all cookie sheets are the same. It's a good idea to practice with different kinds of sheets when you try out a recipe for the first time. Some cookies work better with thick sheets, some work better with thin sheets.
• Raisins belong with pumpkin. Who started putting chocolate chips in pumpkin cookies? That's gross.
• Make the cookies you like. You know I why I rarely made peanut butter cookies? Because I don't like peanut butter cookies. (How does that make your cookies better? You probably won't practice a recipe you aren't eating.)
  

Implement these tips, then leave comments about how they worked for you.

Missed deadlines . . .

I was asked to write the obituary of grandma Miriam. She passed away last week and I was honored when Dad asked to me to do it, but because of a miscommunication, I missed the deadline by 2 hours. That was really disappointing. So, not let it go to waste, I'm going to post it here.

Obituary for Miriam Royle Larsen

Miriam Royle Larsen, 87, passed away this past Saturday, December 11, 2010 at Utah Valley Medical Center. Miriam was born on May 27, 1923 in Lehi, Utah to James Freeman and Lavinia MacAllister Royle and was the sixth of seven children. She loved music and even held the lead in her High School musical, The Pirates of Penzance. Miriam served a mission in Texas for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints during 1945, the last year of World War II. Miriam married her sweetheart, Alvin M. Larsen, on April 1, 1949 and together they raised four children: Marc, Sydney, Mirial, and Carolyn. She loved her children and was a loving mother and a fantastic homemaker. Throughout her life, Miriam happily served in the church with many different calling, including Sunday School and Relief Society teacher as well as Primary chorister and ward choir director, which also incorporated her passion for music. Everyone who met Miriam saw in her the gregariousness and warmth that made her so endearing. During her final years, she suffered severe hearing loss and macular degeneration, but none of that stopped her from reaching out to friends, family, and those around her, offering her warmth and friendship. She is survived by her sister Jo, her four children, 17 grandchildren, and 16 great-grandchildren. Services will be held at the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints meeting house at [physical address withheld] with the burial to follow in Lehi.

10 things about me that may be surprising . . .

1. I'm taking 15 units next semester (really 20, since my internship only counts for 3), yet I've started seriously thinking about applying to be a columnist at the school paper. That probably means I'm partially insane. Allison's been supportive, which may mean that she is, too.
2. I've been to therapy twice in my life. The first time to deal with a powerfully controlling addiction. The second time to deal with nearly debilitating anxiety. Both times helped quite a bit (the second time happened this semester).
3. On the weekends, I sometimes play a video game called Fate.
4. I've been lectured multiple times at work that I need to be nicer to my co-workers. Allison thinks that's stupid. Even so, I'm up for a promotion (finally!).
5. I haven't read a single novel for fun this whole semester. That's been tough.
6. I'm a jerk pretty much every time I have to deal with customer service in any way. It gets in the way most time, but sometimes Allison sics me on particularly difficult workers. I really don't know why I do it.
7. I own a belt that I bought on my mission that was made by an Amish tanner. It's really good quality and I like it, but it doesn't work anymore. Since dropping six inches from my waist, I should just add holes, but I never have.
8. I've only recently gotten over being embarrassed by my undersized calves. I still think they're small, but I've made good progress on them.
9. When I was in California, I felt that I was conservative. Here in Oklahoma, I feel that I'm much more liberal. My political views haven't shifted much.
10. I own more shoes now than I ever have. Seven pairs.

What were you surprised by?

An Open Letter to Pixar

Dear Pixar,

I really like your movies. I remember watching Toy Story when it was in theaters with my family. I liked Monsters, Inc. so much that I saw it twice in theaters (a rarity for me). I enjoyed The Incredibles so much that I bought it (I own about 7 DVDs). And Wall-E shows what can be done with a minimum of dialogue and Ratatouille was such a simple story that was told very well. I have fond memories of nearly all of your films.

Nearly. Up was a mess. You captured our hearts in the first five minutes of the film and before the story had even started, I felt a deep connection with the protagonist. That's amazing storytelling. But when you get down to the main plot, things go south. I'm guessing you wanted to be sure that the story was intense enough for young boys (I assume that was the target demographic) stayed interested in a story about an old man, but you don't let the audience breathe. The story ends without any real catharsis and feels like the story ran out. I'm not suggesting that your characters should not face peril, but it should be properly balanced with the humor and heart that made your earlier films so great.

Toy Story 3 went even further. You didn't have work to make a connection with the audience because we already knew all the characters. Unfortunately, when you decided to show how much peril the characters could face, you really pushed the envelope. Who approved the rating for this film? How did it manage to get a G rating? The climatic scene has the main characters joining hands and accept their fiery doom as they slowly descend into the bowls of an incinerator. Yes, they're saved at the last moment, but how could that have been intended for kids?

Pixar, I'm not asking you to stop making films. I still respect what you do, but, please, stop breaking my heart.

Yours,

Jordan

With Great Facial Hair Comes Great Responsibility

Clearly, I have great responsibilities ...

... because this is one great beard.

Pleasant Accident

So, Sunday is Laundry day in our home. It's also the day that I call various members of the family and do my best to keep in touch. Because I'm such a popular fellow, I try to rotate from week to week who I call. Since I called Oceanside last week, I called Utah.

No answer.

So I called Hawaii.

No answer (which is to be expected, what with Baby Henry being hospitalized).

So, I called Oceanside again. Isaac picked up. I was surprised because I was expecting to talk to Mom and Dad, but I'm not against speaking to my baby brother.

The conversation was led by the boy and it was definitely focused on the gospel, but I must say, it was what I needed. It's no secret that life is not always easy and right now there are extra struggles that Allison and I are facing, so having a gospel-based conversation was really uplifting.

But that's not all. Isaac and I haven't always had the best relationship. To put it bluntly, I beat him up a lot when we were younger. I mentioned this at one point during the conversation and apologized for the way that I had treated him. He has every right to hold that against me, but his response was a simple, "You know I love you, right?" It was humbling and I have to say that I'm surprised at the great guy he's grown into. I was happy that I called and that we had the chance to better get to know each other.

So, two posts in a row about how I have awesome family members. Will you be next?

Profile: Dad

So, I interviewed Dad for an assignment for one of my classes. I was supposed to interview someone in the profession that I plan on entering, so interviewing the man that inspired me to be a writer was the best fit. It was interesting and fun, but there were things I didn't know. I thought I'd share them.

• Dad got his first job as a tech writer before he had even completed his Bachelor's degree. It was only by about two months, but the man at Burrows was so impressed that not having a degree wasn't enough of a setback.
• Part of the reason Dad was so impressive was that he had worked with computers, which made him like a sort of wizard. Seriously, this is the era of punch card programming, so the fact that he was excited to work with computers made him a desirable employee.
• In college, he produced a pamphlet on improving one's interviewing skills and tried to market it to nearby employment agencies (sadly, no one was interested).
• While the writing was fun, the deadlines weren't. He didn't say this, but I got the impression that since he was recognized as a skilled writer (even won awards for the work that he produced), he was given more work.
• His past work as a tech writer has uniquely prepared him for language pathology (he understands language, he knows how to draw information out of someone, he knows how to use words or illustrations to his best advantage, he understands the importance of the order in which to present information, etc.).
• As a technical writer, he never got credit for what he wrote (I've got to admit, I took that one hard. I should have realized that that was the case, but it was humbling. You have to work hard and make something as clear as possible and in the end, the only thing it says is the company's name).
• He compared technical writers to artisans and creative writers to artists. In that sense, it can be art, but it has to be useful first.

So, those are some things that I didn't know about (but probably should have) about the single person who has had the biggest impact on my own writing and communication style (Allison said that Dad and I speak in the same rhythm). Did anybody else learns something here?

Swears

At work, when things don't go my way or I'm annoyed at something, sometimes I swear. But while my coworkers might say [expletive] or [expletive], I keep things a bit less explicit. In fact, sometimes I'm teased because of the words I use as swears. I thought I'd share some.

• Crap-in-a-hat (this is used when "crap" won't suffice)
• Crapola (slightly less emphatic then the above swear)
  
• Dagnabit
• Great Googily Moogily
• Poot
• Harupmh

If anyone has any more fun (family friendly) swears, leave them in the comments.

Taking the good with the bad.

First off, thanks to everyone that fasted this last Sunday. While Allison hasn't found work yet, I'm still confident that it will happen shortly. She has been applying to everywhere in town and I've even been asking around at work if anyone knows of any openings (which did give us some new leads). It's important to not give up.

The Lord has blessed us in a different way. I've made more money this week than I have in a long, long time. That's significant. I work hard, but I also have faith that the Lord will bless me with what we need. A while ago, Allison figured out what I needed to make every day for us to get by. I nearly always make that (which is an increase from when Allison was working).

However, with the additional funds come other challenges. Our SNAP benefits (food stamps) have been revoked. It's really silly because the reason cited was that I make too much money. Since Allison is a full-time student, she's required to work 20 hours a week to qualify for benefits. That's fine, but it also means that I'm the only one on the application. So, I make too much money for one person, but I'm making money for two. This is really frustrating and an additional reason why we need Allison to find work.

I'm doing my best to be patient, and for the most part I am, but I'm still nervous. I know that the fast that so many people participated in has not been ignored by the Lord, but I don't know how much longer we have to wait. Like I said, I'm confident that because of the fast, Allison will soon find work, but . . . will "soon" be soon enough? I pray daily that it will be.